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Curious

So people seem to have some weird ideas about veganism.
I was talking to a friend of mine last night and he told me that one of his vegan friends gets nosebleeds because of iron definency.. and today my mom told me that vegans tend to have bad breath...?
I have never heard anyone menchione these things before, have any of you?
I haven't been vegan for that long but I have noticed that people are really weird about it, and some react in strange ways when they find out I'm vegan.
Some people are even rude, and make fun of me or tell me its not healthy and blah blah.
I don't understand why they don't respect it.
I don't make fun of people for how they live their lives and what they eat.
It just seems like people make such a big deal out of it.
And a lot of people really aren't accepting, which is weird because it is in no way a bad thing, its not like it harms anyone.
I really just don't understand. :o

Once someone said to me (after finding out I am vegan): You must get way to many carbs, that is impossible to be healthy eating vegetarian. HA! A well planned veg*n diet is way More healthy than eating chunks of rotting flesh and clogging up ones arteries among other places... I digress...

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I'm a cancer patient (I developed cancer while I was still a meat-eater btw), and my doctor says that a veggie diet is absolutely ideal. She would no way try to persuade me back to meat. I notice also that I seem to have fewer side effects from the chemo treatment than the meat-eaters do. I'm not at all tired from it and am pursuing my usual sports etc quite happily. The doctor admitted this could be because of my veggie diet.  :)

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Hi Fakeplastictrees,

Yes, some people 'weird out' when they find out somebody choses to follow a vegan lifestyle and, like you say, even become nasty.  Why do people fear The Vegans?  Well, it has been said that people fear what they dont know and I have a sneaking suspicion they are on the defensive too .......

PS - I have a tip for you - I used to always take it so personally when people reacted badly to my veganism (amongst other things), but, remember that you are NEVER responsible for somebody else's thoughts, actions or beliefs, only your own.  Took me ages to take this on board but just remember that some people just dont like their beliefs being challenged - even though we are not physically challenging them, they see our lifestyle, mind-set etc. as the challenge.  Strange but true!

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Remember, people don't like what they don't understand! It's the pack mentality: "If it's different, kill it." I've gone thru this same thing here in Spain, where veg*ism is relatively new (I particularly recall being told by an obese woman who never would look after her health, and  had to have a 4x4 bypass "oh that isn't healthy, you'll get sick." Like she would know.) But as Horowitz said when someone criticised Beethoven's music: "It doesn't make any difference." Opinions don't change the facts, and the very person who criticises your choices would be the first to fly up in the air if You dared criticise Theirs. So smile, say something non-commital, and get on with your life. Just ignore them, and don't allow them to disturb the even tenor of your way. They wouldn't change their ways for you--why should you for them? Never complain, never explain.

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Great feedback here, as always.  (:
Welcome to VebWeb, FakePlasticTrees!  I see that you must be a Radiohead fan.  What do you say to people who oppose your musical tastes?  I've always been diverse in that area (Radiohead included) and was often questioned in highschool about it.  I moved to a small (very small) town for my last two years, and made no friends... turning vegetarian while there didn't seem to help, but I think it was mostly the music I played at school concerts which threw people off (maybe the green hair? pink hair? dreads too?  it all worked against me I'm sure).  But really, Joni Mitchell freaked people out, go figure that one.  Anyway, I never let this bother me.  I think that was a lesson I learned when I discovered sometime in grade 7 or 8 that I was "different."  There were times when I even matched the norm in appearance, but there was still something about me that didn't mesh.  This gave me time for tons of introspection and reading and eventually led to the ability to defend myself when confronted about my opinions, beliefs or lifestyle (sometimes I think I even asked for it---don't do that!).  You have to be comfortable with yourself and what you believe before you can begin to understand and respond to the behaviours of those people who react adversely to veganism.  It is important that you educate yourself, that you know the facts, and show confidence in your choices---otherwise people will see your weakness and take advantage of it (and that goes for anything).  The only way people will see the light is if you are informed enough about you decision and able to explain it effectively.  When even this doesn't work (and often it won't), you acknowledge the opposer's opinion and move on.  One thing we must recognize is that every person is at a different point in their lives.  You may not appreciate or like someone's behaviour but it is just that, a behaviour.  What you dislike or even hate is not them, it is how they are behaving, and sometimes you must detach that behaviour from the person to understand who they are and what they are experiencing.  Just as you would never judge another person's lifestyle, you must not judge the person either.  Often they feel more misunderstood and confused than you would ever know... and this behaviour really has nothing to do with you or your choice. You (unfortunately, yes) just happened to be the right person to pick on, at the right time.  Take that person as a gift in life, someone who has shown you how to deal with negativity and defend yourself... you will learn much more than you imagine from people like this (and you will in turn grow and blossom.. and even deepen your convictions).  I have many, many real life examples to share if you'd ever want to hear them.

Basically what I'm saying is take heart that the choice you made is your own and that you feel proud of it.  You do not need other people to tell you that you made the right decision, the same as you do not need them to support or acknowledge it.  March on in your silent and unsanctimonious crusade, setting a good example for all those veg*ns out there---including yourself.  You may find that people start looking at their own lifestyles when they see how healthy and happy you are---and you may even recruit a few soldiers, and indeed meet a few along the way.  Good luck and keep asking questions!  You'd never learn anything if you didn't have to ask them.

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  It is important that you educate yourself, that you know the facts, and show confidence in your choices---otherwise people will see your weakness and take advantage of it (and that goes for anything). 

Boy, that advice is golden. 

I think if you bear in mind that many people who challenge your philosophy do not understand that, for what ever reason you chose this path, you did so for deeply personal reasons.  Think of how freely *some* people would challenge a person's religious beliefs.  These folks will always be around and will always try to "convert" you one way or another.  But many don't give the notion that your diet is personal any respect.
And some people don't recognize the difference between "you're diet isn't healthy," and "you're socks don't match."
Family, for the most part, is another story.  I assume that any input and questioning from your mother is solely out of love and concern.  For this you must educate those you love, stand by your beliefs, and realize that the longer you practice what you have said, the easier it will become.  Do be careful, as others has pointed out, not to be too aggressive.  It just alienates you more.
Good luck to you!

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Years ago a young woman was selling magazine subscriptions door to door. I purchased Veggie Life. She asked if I was vegetarian. I said yes & she said, "You don't look like a vegetarian." I asked her what a vegetarian looks like & she said, "Sickly & unhealthy with bad skin." I lauged & told her I had been a veg for over a decade. She almost didn't believe me.  ::)

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I get that "you don't look vegetarian" thing all the time, because I'm fat!  Argh!

When my mother and brother were on the Atkins diet, they both had pretty vile breath.  When I've dieted using that cabbage-soup Pritikin heart patient's diet, I had bizarre, horrible, acetone-smelling breath.  If you eat a lot of raw cauliflower, garlic, and onions, you will smell like you did so, no matter what else you eat.  If you're a health-conscious person who's afraid of flouride in your toothpaste and simply quit brushing your teeth (rather than finding a flouride-free alternative), your breath will likely be bad... I've met people of all walks of life with stinky breath and sweet breath, so it's hard to say where that myth came from.  My own breath is vile 1) if I have post-nasal drip, 2) if I've eaten kimchi and coffee with breakfast, 3) that one time the hubs threw me out of the bedroom because I'd made aioli and eaten half the batch (it was too fiery for him so he hadn't partaken--we'd only been married a short time, too, hehe--only time he's ever made me sleep on the couch!)

Lots of people I haven't heard from in the past on this thread! Hi all!  Welcome, FakePlasticTrees!

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Don't forget to floss. It makes such a difference. Once a day, every day. It takes about 90 seconds.

My husband fell for that Listerine commercial a few years ago where they claimed Listerine is as effective as flossing. It isn't. Listerine was forced to take it off the air because dental professionals called them on it. Anyway, he stopped flossing for quite a while & trust me -- it made a huge difference!

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And idioglossia, no one has really said anything to me about my musical tastes... aside from my ex boyfriend and my mother for making fun of me for liking bright eyes, I guess I like a variety of different kinds of music so no one really says anything to me about it.  But I also have dyed my hair many strange colors, and right now its black which my family really doesn't like, they are always telling me they like me better with lighter hair and things.  My mom is really accepting of all the decisions I make though, except for being a vegan.  There are times when she respects it and gets excited with me when there are vegan options at restraunts we go to and stuff, but other times shes really weird about it, especially at the grocery store like when I read the ingridents before I buy anything, a few times shes told me I can't be completely vegan but I just tell her that she really can't make me eat anything or make that decision for me.  My friends are all pretty accepting... except for a couple.  And of course theres the people who ask "where do you get your protien?" and things like that, I don't have a problem telling them though, or explaining to them why I'm vegan.  But I guess peoples negative responses will take some getting used to.  And despite peoples negativity, I haved loved every minuite of being vegan so far :)

Another thing that I have a problem with though is that I am really thin, but its just the way I am and I have been all my life.  But everyone in my family that finds out I'm vegan says "No! you can't do that your going to loose weight!"  I have actually gained weight since I've been vegan though!  I've always eaten a lot too, but now I think I eat even more just because being vegan makes cooking and baking so much more fun :)

Thank you everyone for having such great feedback!  Everyone on here is so nice, I love this website already :)

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My mother freaked when I went vegan too. She sent me to the doctor and then the dietitian so that they could tell me how unhealthy I was. They both told me and her that I had the healthiest diet they had ever seen. Suck on that.
In reality she was just scared I was going to harm myself with this 'fad'. Being put on trial caused me to do a lot of research; which in turn help me put together simple, concise, one sentence answers to all those nasty questions.
I take vegan B12 and Iron supplements and have my levels checked every 3 - 6 months. I started doing it to keep my mother happy, but it's a good practice to get into.
My parents used to hate supermarket shopping too, but they quickly became expert label readers. I think learning how to cook for and feed a vegan is one of the hardest things for a non-vegan. You have to learn how to help them make your diet as easy as possible for them. When it's no longer a hassle and learning new things becomes exciting rather than frustrating, you may find that they are quietly proud of you.

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Welcome to the world of veganism/vegetarianism. what you are experiencing is what I believe to be the only "side effect" of choosing a veg diet. I have been a lacto-vegetarian for 10 years now and it is just something that you have to learn to live with. Just try not to let them get to you. be strong in your beliefs and more importantly in yourself.
I have been asked all kinds of crazy questions and as frustrating as it can be to be constantly repeating myself i use it as a way to teach people about what they do not understand. Most of the time they are very curious and enjoy hearing about my ideas and lifestyle. I make sure that I don't preach or try to convert I just tell them my and others views and explain what I eat. A lot of the time they are impressed, sometimes they are defensive or continue to criticize and that you just have to accept. As many have said get educated and be informed, although sometimes it just doesn't help and at that stage in the conversation/discussion/debate, whatever it may have become just say some very simple words "lets agree to disagree"
you are lucky that you have found this web site and you have found like minded people that you can talk to. Use it, we are a community here for eachother. Just remember that you are not alone.

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