I friggin hate bullies!! needing advice (this is a long post..sorry)
So, dh and I bought a house in May. Everything was good, until the neighbor wife came over and gave me a rundown of who 'sucked' and who didn't, who has dirty secrets and who doesn't, how the previous owners of our house were abusive to their children and his wife, and how they ran him and his wife out of the neighborhood (like it was something to be proud of), and a lot of other neighborhood drama. All of which I could care less about, being as I'm not 16, and dh and I keep to ourselves.
We were friendly for a while, and then she had surgery. I told her I would try to help her if I could, but that I couldn't do much, because I was in a walking boot, and I have a 5 year old who wasn't in school yet. Dh had to go to a class for work in OH (and the class is 5 minutes from his parent's houses) so, rather then leaving us at home, we all drove there. I shot her a text telling her we'd be out of town for 2 weeks, and to see if her husband could make sure nothing looked out of place outside. She replied with "I thought you were supposed to take care of me" yikes. I had my old neighbor come by to pick up mail and feed the cat every other day, becase, as my neighbor said, she couldn't do much, because she just had back surgery. My other neighbor called and said that we hadn't had any mail in 4 days, and I found out my crazy neighbor took it, thinking she would be helpful- so I told her I had someone coming by already taking care of that- and she freaked the eff out, and didn't put my mail back till the next week.
Moving on to a couple weeks later, I found what appeared to be either a mistreated dog, or a dog with allergies, because it was missing fur in patches. I cleaned it up, and she offered to help, so I let her. Then, since I had 2 dogs at the time, dh said we would keep it in the bathroom overnight, and take it to the pound/vet in the morning to see if we could help it/find it's people. She wanted to keep it at her house, and I said fine, that way it wouldn't be stuck in a bathroom all night, and they had no pets, so if it did have any diseases, our animals wouldn't be at risk.
Well, she took it to the vet, and microchipped it in her name, and didn't bother looking for it's people. They said they drove around the neighborhoods looking for flyers (which I later found out from the actual owner, they drove around taking them down) Right before school started, I saw a flyer looking for said dog and it had a number on it, and I texted my neighbor to see if she saw the flyer, and she basically said finders keepers losers weepers. DH went over there, and asked if they would reconsider calling and telling them they found her dog, and she said that they spent too much money at the vet getting her fixed up, and they weren't going to giver her back.
My mom can be a bit abrasive sometimes, so I called the number on the flyer, and was going to undo any damage she had done, and found out that my mom was the 5th person to call about the whereabouts of her dog, and that she had tried to go get her, but she slammed the door in her face and told her she didn't have a dog. The owner got mad and had some people um,
vandalize their cars. They threw a brick through her back windshield and threw paint on his car, and according to the crazy neighbor, threatened them until they gave her back. While the police were outside taking their statements, the husband was giving my husband all sorts of dirty looks,and my dh told me he was going to wait to go to work, because he didn't
trust them, so he waited on our driveway for me to get home (we live right across the street from the school). They decided to clean up the mess an hour and a half after the cops left, when all the parents were walking their kids to school, and proceeded to yell at dh at the top of their lungs calling him every name in the book (in front of children- and in his
uniform- dh is military) and told passersby that we did this to their cars, and that we're awful people, etc. I could hear her yelling all the way at the school, so I ran home and wanted to show her that that's not how you do things, but dh told me not to, so we went inside, and he went to work a short while later.
Ever since then, they have tried to make our lives a living hell. They mock us because of our vegan life style, they stare us down everytime we come and go from our house, they have their kids say rude things to us, and stare us down, and any time they have people over, they get them to do it too. It got to the point where I didn't feel safe, so we got another
dog, and we were going to put him in training to be a guard dog (which I now see was lame). They backed off in the winter (i know, it's still winter, but in TX it's not winter for long) and now that it's getting warmer, they're back to the same crap. I've called the police about it, and they said technically they arent doing anything wrong, because they're acting
like little kids in the back seat of the car "im not touching you..." (when I called them when they were yelling at dh, they came, but they didn't file a report, because he thought the neighbors actions were justified, being as he was the one who took their statement...wth?? So, now, we have to deal with their crap, and as much as I try not to stress about it,
I can't help it, because I'm pregnant, and my hormomes are all sorts of messed up. We are trying to be the bigger person, by not saying/doing anything, but they're making it really hard. What really sucks, is they rent and we own. I called the previous owner of the house, and he said they pulled the same stuff with them, and made up all sorts of rumors about
them, and that they won't stop until we/they move. HOA won't/can't do anything about it either. I'm fed up, and normally, I would try to talk it out, but there is absolutely no reasoning with them. Moving is not an option.
I'm fed up, and there's not a lot we can do.
So, my question is... what would you do in this situation?
Post your neighbor's facebook so we can troll the shit out of her.
I have her email address, I thought about signing her up for newsletters for different things, but I'm sure she could trace it back to me, which would only make things worse.
My friend and I did this before only through the mail. There was this huge asshole in our highschool so we collected a bunch of those subscription cards from magazines like Seventeen and other little girly magazines and signed him up for a bunch of free copies.
Put her on craigslist or similar as selling a creampuff Ferrari...
So, walking my daughter to school this morning, I get a rude comment as I'm walking down my driveway. Really? in front of my kid? I'm effing fed up. I called the HOA- who said they will put in an annonymous (but is it really?) letter to the owners and renters of the house. She said she would contact a guy (wasn't paying attention- damn you add!) in charge of such things who is also a detective.
I told her there is no reasoning with them, and I hope it doesn't make said situation worse. If it does- I'll be a pain in the ass and call them and the popo at every occurance.
Good for you jomamma!!
I definitely think you should let her landlord know what is going on. Seems like he can make her move.
I did that magazine thing once to an enemy...it was awesome!
I would hold off on getting that type of revenge just yet. Just play it cool and see if you can get the landlord to kick her out. Are they even allowed to have dogs? That could work against her-that she had a dog there.
I definitely think you should let her landlord know what is going on. Seems like he can make her move.
I did that magazine thing once to an enemy...it was awesome!
I would hold off on getting that type of revenge just yet. Just play it cool and see if you can get the landlord to kick her out. Are they even allowed to have dogs? That could work against her-that she had a dog there.
i have their landlords contact info, but not sure that would be such a good idea. i mean, if they don't care, she can easily call them and say, hey i talked to your neighbor... and then things get worse.
i mean, i guess we just have to live with it. the HOA manager called me back yesterday, and told me they can't do anything, and she wasn't allowed to send a letter. it is what it is.
why aren't they allowed to send a letter?
no idea. she just said that she talked to the guy in charge of these types of things, and he said she wasn't allowed to, and that it's police matter now, or something stupid like that. I was in my O.B.'s office, so she had to make it quick. she said if things got rally bad, to call the police. Yah, they aren't going to do anything. The last time I called them, in regards to them threatening my husband, the cop just said "well, they are a little upset right now" bs, man. I thought about just going into a police station, and asking what can be done about my situation, so they wouldn't have to get called to my house, but not sure I'm going to just yet.
why aren't they allowed to send a letter of religous magazines, embarrassing samples of products, rubbish?
i think that is what you ment to put ::)
Wow, I am so sorry you and your family are going through this. It sounds like a dreadful living situation! Some people are just hineys! The best advice I can give you is to keep yourselves safe, and in part what I mean by that is not giving them even an ounce of ammo they could use against you. If they say something rude, ignore them. Whatever it is, just let it go. If it's something dangerous, of course, then call the police. But they are just baiting you and trying to get you all riled up. Don't let them have that power over you. That way you will be 110% innocent, so if and when they do something that the police can actually nab them for, you will be in the clear and they will be crying on their way to jail or court. Big hugs to you!! Hope it all works out. I am a huge believer in karma and it sounds like they will have it coming back to them big time!
Sounds like these people are still in mental gradeschool...cheeze. Playground bullies of all ages.
You could send a letter of enquiry to any local religion that sends doorknockers around, as coming from these idiots and saying that they are VERY interested in joining!!
no idea. she just said that she talked to the guy in charge of these types of things, and he said she wasn't allowed to, and that it's police matter now, or something stupid like that. I was in my O.B.'s office, so she had to make it quick. she said if things got rally bad, to call the police. Yah, they aren't going to do anything. The last time I called them, in regards to them threatening my husband, the cop just said "well, they are a little upset right now" bs, man. I thought about just going into a police station, and asking what can be done about my situation, so they wouldn't have to get called to my house, but not sure I'm going to just yet.
i say do it.
why aren't they allowed to send a letter of religous magazines, embarrassing samples of products, rubbish?
i think that is what you ment to put ::)
yesssssssssss
thanks everyone for your input!
Post your neighbor's facebook so we can troll the shit out of her.
I have her email address, I thought about signing her up for newsletters for different things, but I'm sure she could trace it back to me, which would only make things worse.
Create a "disposable" email account on a server like gmail or something and go ahead. Then delete the account after she's nicely signed up.
OMG!!! i totally forgot, my friend got pissed at this girl who lived across the country, but the girl put her address on her myspace so friends could write her a letter... dumb i know, and my friend set her up, via internet, with her address, jahova wittness and mormon meetings at the same time. that is liek the major revenge :D
Actually, if she doesn't mind flirting with federal offenses, the postal service is quite accommodating in these situations.... Just get a water bill (type/print one in Word, they are suckers for anything official looking!) and go down and change their mailing address for a few days. Then intercept their mail and before putting it back in your box to return to sender, write "(dipshit)" after the addressee's name. When it shows up they will be reminded of just who you think they are ;) Of couse, this is for humour only!!
As to Jomamma's original request for advice....I treat gossips as suspicious characters out of the gait. At first it is comforting that I am "getting the skinny" and at least I am not their target...YET…rest assured, I can and will be just as easily the target, if I for a moment get involved in the web. So, I tell them, "You know I am not interested and don't have time to gossip about others. Is there anything else you want to discuss?" Or, you can take a more subtle approach and try to turn the conversation back around on the gossiper with personal questions, "Wow....well, so how long have you lived here?, Where are good places to shop?, etc?, etc?" I find the direct approach is better, they are not as confused and scheming about where I am coming from. Sometimes I MAY soften the blow with "No offense and I still want to be friends, but....you know, I don't have time...." The key is to do this RIGHT FROM THE START. Once you are participating, even by listening, nodding your head, etc....you are in their game and the rules change. Under those modified rules, you have to offer an apology, "You know, I am sorry that I have participated in this type of discussion with you in the past, gossiping about others, and I still want to be friends (optional), but.…” Then you have to 100% not participate regardless of the temptation. I find it is my own propensity to participate that is the problem, not the gossiper….. Good luck!
http://pophangover.com/images/honesty-2.jpg
http://pophangover.com/images/honesty-2.jpg
+1 x a million!! :-D
http://pophangover.com/images/honesty-2.jpg
omg!! hilarious!!!! love it
So after all that... They moved!!!! A bunch of neighbors have since talked to us, and shared similar stories... Now we have new neighbors, and their consistently barking dog. Can't win em all I guess.
At least those ones are gone! thanks for the update jomamma
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