Off topic here - Mental Issues
Posted by Anonymous on May 29, 2007 · Member since Dec 1969 · 11789 posts
Hello everyone.
I know this is off topic but I was wondering if any of you have or have had a friend/family member who has been diagnosed with a mental illness. My mom is schizophrenic - she refuses to have contact with anybody including myself and it has been getting worse. Obviously, this has me really worried at the moment. I have tried contacting the local NAMI office (National Alliance on Mental Illness) with little response. I just need advice really...I know everybody here is great at giving advice even if it is not a veggie topic.
Thanks!!!
:-\
Just hang in there. If your mom has done well with meds in the past, is she off now? Or has she always been off meds? It might be that she is trying to escape prying eyes and being noncompliant and sinking down, or she may feel she needs space to get herself better. You may or may not be able to answer that for yourself.
I would tell you hang in there and be good to yourself. You have got to be feeling alone, abandoned, ignored by someone you care about. When you feel down, remind yourself that this really nothing to do with you, but it is affecting you. About all you can do is be there and take care of yourself and when she feels like coming out of the cave, she will and you'll be there.
Vent here all you want. You are on the right track to try towards finding some support group of some kind. They DO exist, but I am not aware of what they are called.
My mom does not take medication, has never taken medication (she won't even take aspirin). She has never been officially diagnosed by a physician. She refuses to go see somebody or take medication because according to her there is nothing wrong (everybody else has the problem not her.)
She has always been unusual (I remember weird episodes from when I was little) but they have gotten worse. There is DEFINITELY something wrong. She refuses to have contact with family - everybody.
I just need to find somebody who can guide me since I obviously have no experience in this matter.
Hello Rigelesc, sorry to hear about your mother. I am in nursing school right now about half-way through my psych rotation. So I basically spend all day working with clients that suffer primarily from schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and major depression. I am definitely not an expert, but I have learned quite a bit in the last month... Is this diagnosis of schizophrenia something that you gave her on your own? And has she threatened to harm herself or others lately? If it is that serious she might need to be admitted involuntary to a hospital. There are many day programs available as well, that can be very helpful for individuals with mental illness. The problem is, if your mom does not think that she needs help it is going to be challenging to get her to go voluntary.
If you don't mind my asking, what symptoms is she having besides isolating herself from the family?
Kendrakat -
First off...thanks.
My situation is difficult because my mother does not live in the US. The health system in Mexico is odd and the mental institutions are SCARY. My mom is what my family and I call a functional schizophrenic (I am not sure if this term really exists).
She lives on her own and manages - she has not threatened to harm herself or others - she is delusional at times, extremely antisocial and very paranoid. (She believes the world is going to end in 2012, sometimes speaks in tongues, increasingly antisocial, can be catatonic for hours in what she calls "astral travel")
The diagnosis of schizophrenia is something I gave her on my own (I did research and when she was in therapy back in the day - the therapist suggested she might have a problem and might need to be further evaluated in the future - which never happened)
The only contact I have with her is when I leave messages on her voice mail but have not received a call back from her in a year.
My aunt and grandmother know she is still around and "well" because they see her sweeping her front porch every once in a while. The last few times I have seen her is when I have showed up unannounced on her doorstep and our interactions where very stressful for her (she insists I am a drug addict)
I know that as her daughter I can't push her to have a relationship with me. I just need to know how to cope.
Hey Rigelesc. My mom is schizophrenic. She was diagnosed when I was three.
It definitely sounds like she has schizophrenia, but she could have some sort of undefined issue, too. Mental institutions can be scary every where...even so, it's really important that she receives medical care.
A few things to keep in mind:
1) Mental illness is like diabetes. It has a physical cause, and it won't ever go away. You can help alleviate symptoms with exercise, diet, and spirituality, but depending on the severity, you're going to need medication. And, like diabetes, you can be born with it, or some sort of environmental factor can bring it about.
2) Some people never get completely better, even with medication.
3) Sometimes medication will make someone act and feel completely normal, but that person can go into relapse at any time.
4) Mental illness isn't anyone's fault.
5) Your relationship with your mother will always be skewed. You might not ever have a normal mother/daughter relationship. There might be times where you feel like the mother and her the child.
6) Do not take anything she says or does personally. It has nothing to do with you. I know that's easier said than done (My mother called me a bitch when I was 12. I'm 23 now, and it still kind of stings).
7) Your mother most likely has anxiety issues and depression. Almost all people with a mental illness have these issues in addition to the other problems they're experiencing. This is called comorbidity. And it makes treatment difficult.
She doesn't sound highly functional, but I can't make that call. She really needs to get help. Is it possible to contact a university in Mexico? They might be able to help you.
You can send me a message if you have some specific questions. Take care of yourself!
Here's some links for you:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizophrenia
http://www.schizophrenia.com/
http://www.schizophrenia-help.com/articles.htm
I'm so sorry your are going through this (and for what you must have already gone through), Rigelesc. I know it's got to be hard and scary. Be kind to yourself and keep your spirit fed. My thoughts are with you and your mother.
Good post, Issa. My brother is bipolar, my mother was an undiagnosed and untreated schizophrenic, and I (as a result of that and some other abuse) suffer from what is now called "depersonalisation disorder". There were also some alcoholics in the family mix. It can be very hard, for all involved.
I just want to second what everyone else has said. Personally I have trouble taking meds since I was loaded with all the wrong ones in college and now my system reacts in weird ways. I have learned to live within my limitations and create "safe" activities and "safe places" and VegWeb is one of them. I've also learned to push myself in certain areas, like the agoraphobia thing, which is a reaction and not part of the core problem. So when it gets too awful bad, I bribe myself with a Starbucks coffee (I know, I know ::)) to go out downtown and prove to myself that there's enough air for everybody and I'm not gonna die. What I'll do for a frappuchino! :D
I don't do medical treatment here either, since with counselling I've been able to understand that a) I am neither bipolar nor schizophrenic, myself and b) deal with the main issues. Also here in Spain MPD or "depersonalisation disorder" is considered "an American disease" (ie we don't really believe in it, it isn't real--ie the drs here have seen too many Hollywood movies). So they don't have any response for it and don't take it seriously.
I'm lucky in my DH support.
This is probably TMI. Sorry.
Kendrakat -
First off...thanks.
My situation is difficult because my mother does not live in the US. The health system in Mexico is odd and the mental institutions are SCARY. My mom is what my family and I call a functional schizophrenic (I am not sure if this term really exists).
She lives on her own and manages - she has not threatened to harm herself or others - she is delusional at times, extremely antisocial and very paranoid. (She believes the world is going to end in 2012, sometimes speaks in tongues, increasingly antisocial, can be catatonic for hours in what she calls "astral travel")
The diagnosis of schizophrenia is something I gave her on my own (I did research and when she was in therapy back in the day - the therapist suggested she might have a problem and might need to be further evaluated in the future - which never happened)
The only contact I have with her is when I leave messages on her voice mail but have not received a call back from her in a year.
My aunt and grandmother know she is still around and "well" because they see her sweeping her front porch every once in a while. The last few times I have seen her is when I have showed up unannounced on her doorstep and our interactions where very stressful for her (she insists I am a drug addict)
I know that as her daughter I can't push her to have a relationship with me. I just need to know how to cope.
She's never been diagnosed by a physician and you are calling her that? Just because someone doesn't want contact with someone shouldn't be labeled as anti-social. That's not a good enough reason. You need to respect the other person right now. Understand there are boundaries in a relationship.
But ......... you do know your mother better. I looked up schizophrenic in wipikedia. She never hurt anybody or herself right? She can believe anything she wants about the world ending in 2012 as long as she doesn't go out to prove it.
What I've noticed in this world is something physical can be wrong with a person and it can affect the mind, make sure it's not that. You can't even imagine how much I sit there and observe human behavior . I absolutely love the human mind in what makes it tick. I always think why did this happen whether a case in the newspaper or anything really. I want the beginning attacked not just the end of it.
I'll bring up one example I read in the newspaper once ,this was a couple of months ago. A mother murdered her baby in a very horrifying way and it turned out that the mother had a brain tumor.
Hey Rigelesc. My mom is schizophrenic. She was diagnosed when I was three.
It definitely sounds like she has schizophrenia, but she could have some sort of undefined issue, too. Mental institutions can be scary every where...even so, it's really important that she receives medical care.
A few things to keep in mind:
1) Mental illness is like diabetes. It has a physical cause, and it won't ever go away. You can help alleviate symptoms with exercise, diet, and spirituality, but depending on the severity, you're going to need medication. And, like diabetes, you can be born with it, or some sort of environmental factor can bring it about.
2) Some people never get completely better, even with medication.
3) Sometimes medication will make someone act and feel completely normal, but that person can go into relapse at any time.
4) Mental illness isn't anyone's fault.
5) Your relationship with your mother will always be skewed. You might not ever have a normal mother/daughter relationship. There might be times where you feel like the mother and her the child.
6) Do not take anything she says or does personally. It has nothing to do with you. I know that's easier said than done (My mother called me a bitch when I was 12. I'm 23 now, and it still kind of stings).
7) Your mother most likely has anxiety issues and depression. Almost all people with a mental illness have these issues in addition to the other problems they're experiencing. This is called comorbidity. And it makes treatment difficult.
She doesn't sound highly functional, but I can't make that call. She really needs to get help. Is it possible to contact a university in Mexico? They might be able to help you.
You can send me a message if you have some specific questions. Take care of yourself!
Here's some links for you:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizophrenia
http://www.schizophrenia.com/
http://www.schizophrenia-help.com/articles.htm
Thanks so much - someone from the NAMI association called me back and there is a support group starting up soon - I think I will get a lot of needed guidance. Thanks for your kind thoughts...
Well Issaspiders beat me to replying to your post... But I am glad because she explained it better than I could have and it sounds like she has experience with the subject. It does sound to me like your mother has Schizophrenia. And I would have to agree with the fact that she really does need medication to get well. You are such a great daughter to care so much for her and try and get her help. Just remember that whatever happens, it is not your fault. And perhaps you would like to consider going to therapy yourself... I can imagine that it is very hard for you to have a mother that is suffering from mental illness, and the fact that its hard to help her in the way you want to can be very emotionally draining for you. I recommend you find a support group for yourself or seek one on one counseling. Having the opportunity to sit in on group therapy during this clinical rotation, I can see how helpful it can be to anyone... I really believe that most people would benefit from some type of counseling... I wish you luck in trying to help your mother.
THANKS EVERYONE
I am going to join the local NAMI chapter and will be taking part of their support group. Also, they did suggest going to therapy to help me work my issues out and possibly finding a gentle and reasonable way to help my mom.
My mom told me once that it didn't matter if we never saw each other or spoke to each other ever again, that I was still going to be her daughter and she was still going to be my mother and that ultimately that love will be our only bond.
Thanks again everybody for all your kind thoughts and support - all of you ROCK!!!!
::)