Advice please
Okay, you all arn't phychologists, but you are the only friends that I have.
I went on vacation for this short 3 day weekend, to a tiny rural town in south-central NY. I met my mom and stepdad there too. I had a great time! While I was there I was smiling and laughing, and I felt so at home in that tiny town. I was raised rural and don't like cities. Now I live and work on Long Island and hate it here, too much bustling, hustling, traffic, horn honking, people giving me this wierd look because they think I am strange. It is amazing how when I go to a small town I am "normal" but here in the city I am "wierd". I just don't fit in.
I felt so happy over the weekend, and it sure felt like home, even though rural Missouri is a long way away, it FELT like home. Country roads, very little traffic, small town attitude, only 1 stop light in the whole town, rivers, trees, and best of all, when you stand outside at night there was no sound of traffic, cars, poeple yelling, whatever, just...silence. And it was dark, no street lights. I felt like I could breath there.
But since I returned...here (I don't feel right calling this place "home" because it isn't my home), I have been crying and feeling angry. I can't seem to stop crying. I want so bad to go back to that small town again.
My question is, how can I force myself to endure it here? I don't think I could ever be happy, but until the economy gets better I have to put up with it, but it is so hard, I miss home so much, everything is so foreign here, so out-of-the-ordinary here. But I dont' know what to do, I have been looking and submitting my resume but for the life of me I can't find a job anywhere. I am stuck here and I always feel as if someone has their hand on my throat choaking me and I am helpless to defend myself. But when I leave and go back to a rural place I feel better, as if the hand is gone, and I can breath again. I need to stop crying.
How can I feel better? I don't know what to do and I guess I just need some words of encouragement, that I won't be trapped here for the rest of my life. There is hope. Please tell me that there is hope...
I am thinking that going on that trip was a bad idea, it seems to have made things worse!
I kind of know how you mean about not feeling at home where you are. I live in a very rural, very backwoods, very conservative area right now, and because my boyfriend is finishing up his undergrad, I have to be here (well, I WANT to stay with him). I don't like it here, and every time I visit some other place (Hawaii, California, Ecuador, even), I like it so much more than where I live. I hate the snow and I hate cold weather, and I just want to live somewhere warm and progressive. I know it's hard, and I don't have any advice for you. I'm sorry about that, but I wanted to tell you that I share your pain, that I want to live somewhere totally different, and the time to go to grad school for both of us can't come quick enough. I sometimes take it out on the bf, because I sort of blame him for my being here, but I know that's not fair. He just wants to get his degree and get out, too. We're tired of the rednecks, we're tired of not being able to eat out, and we're tired of driving over an hour to get tofu. We'll get through it, and you will too! Just hang in there! We'll all eventually get to where we want to go. I'm thinking of you!
i'm sure this isn't a possibility, because you would have tried it if it was, but any chance you can work from home/phone commute with your job now and be able to live wherever you want?
Working from home isn't possible for my job, and I have looked at options. Problem is there are so many scams out there.
Sorry about the rant. But I just made myself feel much better.
I made a plan for another short vacation next month. I decided to take a three day weekend to celebrate the start of spring and hike to the summit of slide mountain, or do something similar. Anybody want to join me?
I think I just have to give myself something to look forward to, if I don't then I feel trapped and loose hope and then things go spiraling down. So things are okay now. If I have this plan in place, even if it is a month from now, then I have something to pleasant to look forward to and my sentence, I mean time here won't seem so bad.
Veganrun, can you do something similar? I mean, you seem to be in the same situaion as me, except opposite. I feel more confortable around "rednecks" then all these wild and crazy city folk around here. I am proud to call myself a Hillbilly, because by the technical definition of the word, I am a total hillbilly! A Ozark Hillbilly and proud of it! ;)b :D
Can you plan a trip to a city once a month or so just to get out? You have to get back to your roots otherwise you go nuts.
Thanks everybody!
We don't have real grocery stores here, so about once a week we go to this awesome college town about an hour away and go rock climbing, eat out (the only place I can eat out in my town is Quiznos and Subway, I'm not joking), and get groceries. The people there are eclectic, intelligent, and great to chat with. We both love it there, and it makes us feel so normal and accepted. We love living in a place where there's good hiking and lots of outdoor space, but even our town/cities aren't progressive or accepting. I'd just love to live somewhere that embraces uniqueness, and where different isn't considered bad. And not where living on Welfare is the norm (please don't judge me for this comment, I know Welfare is necessary at times and I'm glad we have it, but it represents the atmosphere of the area).
I totally understand that you want to live somewhere where there are good outdoor adventures. We don't even really live in a "city"--the largest city around here is 60,000 people, so I don't think I'd like city life per se. I just don't like Indiana/the Midwest. I'm ready for change, and it can't come soon enough. VegWeb is like a friend, one that makes me feel like I'm not a freak, that I'm making the right choices in life, and I'm not actually going to hell (don't know how many times I've heard this!). HUGS TO VEGWEB. :)>>>
I'm in a similar boat, it makes me feel a hell of a lot better knowing that I'm finally leaving this summer. Maybe you can make a plan to save up a certain amount of money to buy yourself a small house where you want to live. It might take a few years but seeing the light at the end of the tunnel does wonders.
Hang in there! (Also, ick, Long Island, that's probably the worst place you could have gone to after leaving a rural area.)
well, i feel you because i totally want to live in the middle of nowhere (many people would consider the fact that i live in a town w/ the population of about 40,000 and think i live in the middle of nowhere), but i can't get a job in the middle of nowhere. i'd love to work online.
well, i feel you because i totally want to live in the middle of nowhere (many people would consider the fact that i live in a town w/ the population of about 40,000 and think i live in the middle of nowhere), but i can't get a job in the middle of nowhere. i'd love to work online.
you would probably like the story I am writing right now. I am writing about living in the wilderness of Alaska. It is totally fiction but I really enjoy it. It is an escape from reality. Unfortunately I do kill some animals for food in the story becuase it is impossible to survive up there otherwise (in the wilderness). But I also write about building my own log cabin and other things. Writing is something I am not very good at, but I really love to do it.
well, i feel you because i totally want to live in the middle of nowhere (many people would consider the fact that i live in a town w/ the population of about 40,000 and think i live in the middle of nowhere), but i can't get a job in the middle of nowhere. i'd love to work online.
you would probably like the story I am writing right now. I am writing about living in the wilderness of Alaska. It is totally fiction but I really enjoy it. It is an escape from reality. Unfortunately I do kill some animals for food in the story becuase it is impossible to survive up there otherwise (in the wilderness). But I also write about building my own log cabin and other things. Writing is something I am not very good at, but I really love to do it.
I'm sure you have, but have you read "Into the Wild" or seen the movie? I don't think I'd ever want to rough it in Alaska! Hawaii? Sure!
Yea I lived in a city that I felt like an alien in for the past 3 years - it was the only place I could get my qualification, then I stayed on for a while to get established in work and be with my boyfriend. My advice is find things you like to do - for 2 years I was miserable and lonely, then in the 3rd year I decided to join a singing group and take swing dance lessons and those little highlights of my week gave me something to look forward to and a social group that wasn't just work people.
And don't give up hope, don't decide youre stuck and you have to stay, keep your eyes out for opportunities and think outside the square - I left that city, and it took a huge effort, because even when you don't enjoy living somewhere, you do get settled and it can be hard to turn that on its head. But now I'm back in the city that feels like home to me :) And it was worth it!
I work via the internet, and I can work anywhere on the globe I can get a high-speed internet connection. I want to move so badly, but the timing just isn't right. My daughter's dad is here, and I need to put some money into my house before I can sell it. I don't see myself staying here in central Illinois forever. I grew up in California and was within an hour or so of a farm, the mountains, the beach, etc. Here we have corn, beans, and hogs, and it is SO flat here.
I'm a small-town girl now. I'm actually considering a move to rural Kentucky, but that town of less tha 10,000 is an hour away from a Whole Foods. I don't have any vegan or even vegetarian friends here, so I'm not worrying about finding any there.
I just want to say... This too shall pass... It doesn't have to be forever and at least you have your beautiful baby boy to keep you company... When the economy picks up I am sure you will find a job where you want to live... This is temporary and your getting work experience while your waiting... You will be okay... This is just making your stronger I promise in time it will get better but for now keep your head up :)
I work via the internet, and I can work anywhere on the globe I can get a high-speed internet connection. I want to move so badly, but the timing just isn't right. My daughter's dad is here, and I need to put some money into my house before I can sell it. I don't see myself staying here in central Illinois forever. I grew up in California and was within an hour or so of a farm, the mountains, the beach, etc. Here we have corn, beans, and hogs, and it is SO flat here.
I'm a small-town girl now. I'm actually considering a move to rural Kentucky, but that town of less tha 10,000 is an hour away from a Whole Foods. I don't have any vegan or even vegetarian friends here, so I'm not worrying about finding any there.
I didn't realize you were in central Illinois. I'm in western Indiana. It probably sounds like we're in a very similar boat because we ARE!
I work via the internet, and I can work anywhere on the globe I can get a high-speed internet connection. I want to move so badly, but the timing just isn't right. My daughter's dad is here, and I need to put some money into my house before I can sell it. I don't see myself staying here in central Illinois forever. I grew up in California and was within an hour or so of a farm, the mountains, the beach, etc. Here we have corn, beans, and hogs, and it is SO flat here.
I'm a small-town girl now. I'm actually considering a move to rural Kentucky, but that town of less tha 10,000 is an hour away from a Whole Foods. I don't have any vegan or even vegetarian friends here, so I'm not worrying about finding any there.
I didn't realize you were in central Illinois. I'm in western Indiana. It probably sounds like we're in a very similar boat because we ARE!
The funny thing is I grew up in the San Fransisco Bay Area but had to move out here to chose to be vegan. I could never afford to move back to my hometown, but all the vegan resources available out that way would sure be nice. At least Peoria has a decent HFS, but I would love to someday dine in a vegatarian/vegan restaurant and make some local vegan friends.