ANNOYING conversations!
So my dad and I had 'THE' vegetarian talk tonight... I had already already told him I'd made the desicion to be vegetarian but we had never really talked about it.
Conversation:
dad: well, you still eat fish, right?
me: no, don't eat fish.
dad: WHAT! fish isn't an animal! fish are stupid, they have a pea for a brain! how can you not eat fish?!
me: um....as fore mentioned...vegetarian.
dad: well fish is good for you, you should still eat fish....where do you get your omegas...blah blah blah
dad: well, you're getting enough vitamins arn't you. how will you stay healthy. i'm concerned for your health....
I love my dad. He is honeslty one of my most favorite people on the planet :)>>> But if conversations like this become frequent... I'm going to go crazy :-\
I'm actually amused and entertained most of the time by the unoriginal conversations I get into regarding all things Vegan.
I notice I get teased a lot by friends and family, but I don't mind, I think they are funny and it's okay to laugh at myself and they know that.
I know why I am vegan so others comments arent going to make me upset.My dad still can't help throwing a piece of meat into every converstation like I'm going to crack at the mention of RIIBS. haha
i notice many annoying conversations run along the same lines:
1. the guilty conscience
I could go veg but... (insert rambling excuse here)
- sorry, dont care
2. the california public school system at work:
can you eat beans?
- :o
3. The sucker
I just can't live without steak
- sucks to be you
4. The not-so-subtle-rabbler-rouser
oooh I just had the best...(insert nasty meat dish here) .It had (insert descriptive nasty ingredient list)...Oh yeah I forgot you can't eat that.
-Actually SLICK , I CAN eat it, but won't, cuz it's freakin nasty.thank you.
i could go on but for now i'll stop
You are so right, animal_g! I've heard 1, 3 and 4, but never 2. My admin. loves to hit me with number 4 and I just roll my eyes and snicker.....enjoy your heart disease dude, I'm totally going to out live your ass!
i've had several today, all revolving around the muffins i brought in to work. i should have known better than to be nice.
me: i brought muffins, they're in the kitchen.
boss1: ooo.. do they have tofu in them? (suspiciously asked)
me: no.
boss1: (after scarfing one down) hey these are pretty good, just like normal!
me: what exactly IS normal for you?
boss1: *condescending laughter*
then later on:
boss2: the girl out front (that's me, btw) brought muffins, and they're really good!
boss1: i had one, they have tofu in them, you know.
boss2: TUFU! (yes i spelled that the way he says it)
boss1: it gives you diahrea you know
me: (walking by) you should be more worried about the ex lax i put in them
minutes later:
boss2: (to random client ) this girl here made muffins and they have TUFU in them!
RC: whaaaa??
me: they don't have tofu in them.
boss2: i was joking, but they're good, do you want one?
RC: oh, whew, there for a second i thought you were going to say that she's a VEGETARIAN! (what relief...but wait!)
boss2: oh, no, she's already......a....VAIKON!
me: vegan.
then he ate one and liked it. so they can all suck it. plus the accountant asked me for the recipe, but it has egg replacer in it, so when i went home for lunch i measured out the amount she needed since i didn't feel like converting the measurements to however many eggs that is (wouldn't that defeat the purpose?) and put it in a baggie which totally looked like cocaine. when i handed it to her, i was like 'this isn't drugs, ok?' and had to explain how to make egg replacer work (which totally befuddled her, but she seems to be willing to try it).
what a day. i may never bring my baked goods here again, haha...
boss2: (to random client ) this girl here made muffins and they have TUFU in them!
RC: whaaaa??
me: they don't have tofu in them.
boss2: i was joking, but they're good, do you want one?
RC: oh, whew, there for a second i thought you were going to say that she's a VEGETARIAN! (what relief...but wait!)
boss2: oh, no, she's already......a....VAIKON!
me: vegan.
the way the RC reacted he might as well have said
"Oh, whew, there for a second i thought you were going to say that she's a TERRORIST!" :o
when i handed it to her, i was like 'this isn't drugs, ok?'
LOLlerskates!
me: (walking by) you should be more worried about the ex lax i put in them
when I was in school someone actually did make exlax cookies for the music teacher (which he ate before finding out and ended up getting the shits)...needless to say the kid was expelled.
omg, ap, that conversation was hilarious.
;D ;D ;D
I'm gonna add to your list, animal!
Disclaimer: No, this is not how I talk to non-veg*ns in daily life. Please don't get on my back about judging others. Or start a debate about these topics. Just sharing a chuckle among vegans, OK?
5. The FAIL Vegan
"I was veg*n for , but it wrecked my health."
Don't blame your shortcomings on veganism, kthx.
6. The foot-in-mouth-er (True story for me)
"That restaurant used to be good before it went vegetarian. Now I hear it's vegan! Ugh, not sure how they'll do with THAT new path of theirs...."
"Oh, I'm vegan. I'd be interested in going there!"
"Oh. Well. Then, I mean, you'd probably like it! I just eat meat, so....yeah..."
7. The dominion-er
"God gave animals to humans. They are ours to do with as we please."
God also gave you a brain, but you never use that.
8. The honorary PhD in evolutionary biology
"We have carnivore teeth, so we're supposed to eat meat!"
Oh, that explains your flesh-ripping claws, flesh-digesting enzymes, and herbivore-like digestive system! My bad.
9. The "one person is an adequate sample population" statistician
"I had a friend who was vegan. He's really extreme/strange/skinny/unhealthy/etc. You're normal though."
10. The bewildered.
"Oh, I don't eat dairy."
"Oh, are you lactose intolerant?"
"No, I just don't eat any animal products, like dairy or eggs."
"Oh."
"Yup."
11. Captain Obvious
*sitting down to a group lunch at work or something similar* "Oh, there isn't anything here for you then! Pizza's got dairy!"
*sitting down to dinner* "Oh, doesn't leave much for you, you're vegan and all!"
*sitting down to breakfast* "Makes it difficult, doesn't it! All you can eat is the fruit!"
12. The Defense-man
"Well, I mean, you're OK, but I HATE when vegans try to FORCE there point of view on others! That bothers me."
Wow, we have something in common! I HATE when you try to force DEATH on others.
12. The pleasant surprise - a rare creature
"I'm vegan actually."
"That's great! I admire that."
I'm gonna add to your list, animal!
7. The dominion-er
"God gave animals to humans. They are ours to do with as we please."
God also gave you a brain, but you never use that.
8. The honorary PhD in evolutionary biology
"We have carnivore teeth, so we're supposed to eat meat!"
Oh, that explains your flesh-ripping claws, flesh-digesting enzymes, and herbivore-like digestive system! My bad.
Um, number 7 is so frequent.... and LAME! Please show me where that is written in history...please (and I am a church goer).
To number 8, humans actually have herbivore teeth for the most part... that one gets a big, fat 'whatever' whenever I hear it!
Exactly. The reason those arguments are so shitty is because they're what people think of off the cuff and try to sound like it's something they've thought long and hard about. Silly, silly, silly.
But yeah, people who never opened a Bible in their lives will use 7 with no hesitation. ::)
And people who've never opened a biology book in their lives will use 8 without hesitation ::)
13. The Patriot
"Oh, so you don't eat any meat, dairy or eggs? Are you an American?!? I'll be sure to bring you a hamburger next time."
14. The health-conscious omnivore
"What you SHOULD be worried about is sugar. I mean, sugar is the worst."
Or wheat, for number 14. Wheat is awful for you, guys! Or, like, carrots. The glycemic index is too high! ::)
Good ones, AC!
:)>>>
You win, though!
15. The Paris Vegan
"But I like to travel. I mean, I can't NOT eat cheese in France! It's part of the experience!"
OK, therefore, you should eat cheese regularly. Great reasoning!
16. The tragic humanitarian
"Animal rights are well and good, but we can't ignore human rights! There are so many things we need to be doing for humans!"
Oops, I didn't realize my time in the tofu section of the store was detracting from my time helping underprivileged children. I'll prioritize better.
(This is when I love that my job is humanitarian in nature. Boo yah.)
17. The politically correct anthropologist
"But meat is part of the culture and cooking in . We have to respect the culture of others!"
18. The reciprocater
"I respect your right to eat vegan, so you respect my right to eat meat!"
(see the vegan partners and compromising thread....)
19. The see-I-told-you-er
"I scraped my knee"
"Oh nooo! I knew it! You are not getting enough protein. What do you eat, anyway??"
Hahaahahaha ;D
Also applies to, "I'm tired."
when I say something like.....
I'm tired, I have a headache, I've got cramps.....I'm anything.....
their reply......It's because of that crazy food you eat!!! or you don't get enough protein, your don't get enough calcium, etc, etc
I was gonna make a comment about sexual dysfunction and meat eating, but I'll refrain.
::) ^-^
Re: 17....some cultures also condone cannibalism. Not to mention that we are part of our own society and culture.
20. The intelligence perceiver
"Well, I know that turkeys are dumb. So, you can eat them."
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