excited.
last nite jason asked me if i wanted to move in with him. i said yes. so 2 morrow im going to call social security to see about getting a new card (zack threw mine out along with my stuff) so i can get a new id and merrick's birthcertificate. im a little stressed b/c a week ago my brother moved back in and he has made it so that i have basically 56k modem speed (mom has dsl) to prevent me from dl stuff. but so far he has been getting along with jason. hopefully after i get the paperwork that i need to fill out for merrick's birthcertificate we will be able to get it without zack. lol, we found out that merrick is attached to jason (with them knowing eachother for only a couple of months) b/c he didnt want jason to go after jason came over to tell me his van was about to fall apart. i know that unlike zack he will get a car that doesnt need much work on it if the van breaks down for good.
Wishing someone luck is not advice.
It's hope for luck.
ad·vice (ăd-vīs') - Opinion about what could or should be done about a situation or problem; counsel.
crit·i·cize (krĭt'ĭ-sīz') - To find fault with.
Tkitty didn't say, "Oh you've done it now! You really mess up. That was a bad choice."
She did offer an opinion about what to do. She advised, not criticized.
If anything we are criticizing her for whining about things, but that was after you brought it up.
Maybe I should let Tkitty answer for herself. ::)
"Taking responsibility for your own life" is not finding fault ::) ::) when she is in a very bad state right now. All that matters is what state she's in right now. Do you want to see people living on the streets or hungry?
Good luck means I wish you luck your going to need it. You don't consider it advice then it's my answer to her.
Imagine having a problem with someone saying, "Good Luck" :o
im sry this turned into a debate about me. i made this to tell u guys what was going on not for advice and if it seemed like i was then im sry. yes i am a victim but it was my dad hitting me with a belt or whatever he wanted to use along with emotionally, then sexually harassed by a guy i hardly knew from school. so b/c of that i do have trust issues. b4 we even had merrick zack knew that i would need help around the places we lived but he didnt help me much. he and i applied for food stamps but he didnt follow through b/c he didnt want to involve our landlord, i did demand the papers for our landlord to sign but he lost them somewhere after we got them and i never found them, i am living with my mom and b/c my uncle (who also lives here) has a gambling problem tries to help out finacially while supporting his own kids and my brother moved up here from florida so he has no job) b/c of all of us living here my mom doesnt have the finances to support all of us. i know i should have gotten merrick birth certificate b4 now but b/c im unfamiliar with how to get it (homebirth) and b/c zack never made the time to i am paying the consequences. b/c i cant find a job if no one will watch him (my mom doesnt have the energy to watch him and she has tried, my brother is out all the time and my uncle works at nite and sleeps during the day), dont know if i can put him in daycare without his birth certificate. b/c of my dad, being sexually harassed i do have low self esteem. since i got back with jason i have felt like i was loved for the first time in awhile. we have talked about what we expect of eachother and a few other things. i honestly feel that moving in with jason is for the best for both merrick and i. we agreed that we would make this relationship work again (went out with him in high school for a yr), even then he wanted to propose to me, he was 15 i was 18. no we didnt have sex then. when we went over to his parents for them to meet me again and meet merrick i felt more comfortable around them then i have with any of my exs.
Don't worry. Your off to a good start now.
You have obviously had hardships in your life but the first step may be not relying on someone else to make you feel good. You must first love yourself. If you wait for someone else to love you to make yourself feel better, you are setting yourself up to be co-dependent and a victim yet again. Find happiness within yourself.
And "luck" has nothing to do with this situation. Yes, luck is wishing for the best but evidently you have not been "lucky" before so stop hoping for good luck and take matters into your own hands. If not for yourself, for your son.
Note to self:
Buy a bouquet of flowers and put it on the English language's grave.
im slowly starting to love myself. im going to get my drivers license soon also. ive put it off b/c everything was always within walking distance and i was afraid that i would have the same road rage my dad does but i dont think i will now.
And "luck" has nothing to do with this situation. Yes, luck is wishing for the best but evidently you have not been "lucky" before so stop hoping for good luck and take matters into your own hands. If not for yourself, for your son.
Luck does have alot to do with it. Imagine not being able to find a job because no one's hiring right now or somebody doesn't like the color of your eyes. (You know what I mean).
Luck does have alot to do with it. Imagine not being able to find a job because no one's hiring right now or somebody doesn't like the color of your eyes. (You know what I mean).
That's not the case here though. Luck can't be on your side (or even not on your side!) if you don't TRY yourself. She hasn't gotten her son's birth certifcate... not because someone has kept her from doing it but because she hasn't taken the time to do it. Toddlers are hard to deal with. I know! It takes longer to do everything, you can't make a phone call unless they are napping etc. etc. but the point is she hasn't gotten the BC, hasn't gotten her ID, hasn't gotten her social security card, the food stamp papers were lost (then get some new ones!)... ya see? If she had knocked one item off the list she'd be proactive but she hasn't. How many job interviews has she gone on? If she has gone to 2 them I commend her and take that back. But I doubt it. Yes, that is criticisim.
Luck does have alot to do with it. Imagine not being able to find a job because no one's hiring right now or somebody doesn't like the color of your eyes. (You know what I mean).
While there are certainly things that happen in people's lives that are beyond their control (I guess you could call these the result of luck or the lack of it) I think it's fair to say that the majority of situations most people find themselves in are the direct result of choices they have made in their lives. A reasonable person will usually take corrective action(s) when the choices they have made in the past begin to bear bitter fruit. This is a process that is repeated many times throughout the course of a person's life. Hopefully as knowledge and wisdom accumulate a person will begin to make better choices that produce better results.
I think the key is in the phrase "as knowledge and wisdom accumulate". Seek wisdom. Stock your mind with it like you would stock good food in your pantry. It will compound over time and help you to make better decisions.
Also notice that any advice given to her, she replies with excuses: I can't get a job because no one will watch my son, I didn't get my license because I might have my father's road rage issues, I didn't get my son's BC because Zack didn't take care of it.....and on and on. I even recall reading in another post a while back that she can't be 100% veg*n because she lives at home. (She ate chicken on a salad from McDonalds) Stop making excuses, make choices. You do the same thing over and over your life will never change.
People who have their sh*t together is not because of luck. It is because of choices made and hard work. Personally, I would be fairly upset if someone told me I got my job because of luck.
I'm going to have to agree with Tkitty96 and jenniferhughes on this. If Karone04 truly wanted to make her situation better she would.
In less than 5 minutes I found on the internet that the Ohio Department of Job and Family Services has many programs that could help Karone04 make her life better. They have child care assistance, education/training assistance and a job seekers program with assists with career counseling, etc. This is not a matter of I don't have any time to do anything because no one helps me....its I like the attention I'm getting by the "poor me" attitude. I'm sure that the ODJFS could help even with the social security card/birth certificate situation as well.
Here is the website for the ODJFS
jfs.ohio.gov
Like I said before it took me less than 5 minutes to find this information....a lot less times than it took Karone04 to write her previous posts when she could've already been on the path to a happier life.
Like Jenniferhughes said, I do have young ones. No, I don't have a sitter. I do everything with my kids. That means I've taken them to MY doctor's appointments, to pay bills, to go shopping, everything. It is difficult, but I DO IT, like every other responsible parent lacking good childcare. And deuce0 made a good point, too. Every time something bad has happened, she makes an excuse as to why she can't do anything about it. That's silly. That mindset will keep you in the same rut that you're in. I have children. No matter what happens in my life, I think that the best lesson I can teach them is that I still got up and tried to do something about it. If something doesn't work out, you pick up the pieces and try to get where you're going another way.
And yes. We have been hearing the same line of crap out of this poster for quite some time. Like Jenniferhughes, I get the feeling that she comes here because she know Vegweb is full of good-hearted people who will listen and wish you well. That's one thing I love about this community. But I also think that at a certain point that becomes a disservice to someone like the OP. I haven't tried to be judgmental. If my best friend was acting the same way, I would tell her exactly what I told Karone04. Honestly, I think that's kinder than sympathy. Also, thanks Mirrya1, for providing that link. I hope Karone clicks it, and does something to better her situation.
Anyway. I'm going to stop responding to this thread, and most likely any new thread of Karone04's.
not even taking into consideration your future of moving in with your new boyfriend and the problems with your social security card and food stamps and finding a job. you have an incredibly thick history of abuse and now you have a child on top of it. i know you dont have much money. but your past needs to be settled and dealt with appropriately, not just through message boards. i really think it would be a good idea to find a counselor to help you deal with these problems and work on the new ones that are arising.
just got back from applying for my social security card, got my id and the papers for merrick's birth certificate. waiting for jason to get out of court (accident on his way to his brother's graduation ceremony) so that we can go back to the social security office if we can get there in time (they close at 4 if we dont then we will do it next week) so i can get my social security card, then after that we will go to the police station to i guess file a report and see about getting my stuff back. b4 this i did call the police station and ask about my stuff but they couldnt find anything in their records about my stuff being there and that was a week after i got the news from my cousin. thanks for the good luck wishes and advice. since i came to live with my mom i have cut down on the amount of pop i drink, eat more veggies and fruit, i actually rarely eat meat, eggs and cheese.
Karone,
1. With your father it was either 3 things:
1. He was hit with a belt when he was younger.
2. He took out his frustrations on you( as monstrous as that sounds).
3. He didn't know how to be a parent.
Decide which one it is and close the case. Don't feel hurt , embarrassed, angry or anything by it.
(I know it's easier said than done but try)
2. Don't worry about your mom , your uncle, or your brother (within reason of course). It's you
and your son. That's your top priority right now.
3. About the road rage, I say don't get behind a wheel of a car unless you feel very capable
of the car and your 101% calm.
4. The birth certificate you can register it with your local hospital. And they give you a SS number
for your son as well.
Call your local hospital and tell them it was a homebirth. What do you do to get a birth
certificate?
If they cannot help you call your local town.
Your probably going to need witness's statements that he is your son. I don't know.
5. Don't worry about the past if you can change it change it if you can't move on. The only
things that are important is the present and the future right now.
6. And something else, your probably tied in with your parents attitudes alot (your identity). I don't know maybe. Start reflecting
see what attitudes you have and what attitudes come from your parents. It will bring you
peace.
Best of luck to you karone.
Hi, karone04. Congratulations on getting the ball rolling.
Check out http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/edu/microsites/idtheft/consumers/compromised.html . Check your credit report online for free at https://www.annualcreditreport.com/cra/index.jsp. Look for activity and accounts that you don't recognise as legitimate. If you see that your identiy has been stolen, report it to the Federal Trade Commission using the previous link.
Check online and in your local community about free or low cost counseling services. You need someone to talk to who can guide you to find the strength within yourself to make the best choices for you and your child. If you are unable to find free services through non-profit organizations, colleges or health clinics, please make an appointment to speak with any religious pastor. Pastors (priests, preachers, rabbis, etc.) usually have some education and experience with helping people find solutions to their problems as well. They provide free, loving advice and will be happy to help you and or guide you to a free or low-cost mental health professional in the area who can. If you do not feel comfortable telling your personal business to a pastor you already know, you can most certainly go to someone from a different church, etc. Often, a stranger can help you more than someone you know.
well going back to the social security office came to a literal screeching halt until 2morrow. jason wasnt paying attention and rear ended a lady. she was taken to the hospital, jason and merrick are fine, im a little sore on my right shoulder (dont know if i should be in a seat or not like merrick b/c im 4 ft 8). i will talk my mom into taking me to the office 2morrow. he would have stopped sooner but the brakes didnt stop in time. his reflexes are really quick b/c he avoided a headon collision with a girl in downtown dayton by breaking quick.
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