Feeling Depressed and Isolated
You know, I never thought going veg would be this emotionally hard on me. I just feel so isolated.... I mean, while things with hubby have 'smoothed' over, it's not like he will stick up for me if someone else is raggin on me. His idea of supporting me is simply not raggin on me too. It's like I don't even want to get together with family or friends anymore because I'm so tired of being picked at for it.... nothing major or terribly insulting, but the constant 'teasing' is really getting on my nerves! My sister is coming to visit and stay with me this weekend and I'm not even looking forward to it. There is a family bbq on Saturday and I don't want to go. I haven't even really told my dad yet about me going veg. This will be the third bbq now with my dad in which I will bring my own food..... I'm sure I will probably get asked about it this time and I am not in the mood to deal with the questions and scrutiny right now.
I know absolutely no one else who is vegetarian AT ALL. It is like a forgien concept around here. I have no one to talk to about who understands, no one go out to eat with or share cooking tips or invite over who would be open to eating veg..... Ugh! I have this whole week off of work and I have not left the house once.....I think I'm going to make myself leave tomorrow and do something, even if it's by myself. Just needed to vent alittle...
Here's just a few shirts I found that help to get your point across while still being funny:
http://t-shirts.cafepress.com/design/7365530
http://t-shirts.cafepress.com/design/16648061
http://t-shirts.cafepress.com/design/9458002
http://t-shirts.cafepress.com/womens-clothing/design/27714206
Here's just a few shirts I found that help to get your point across while still being funny:
http://t-shirts.cafepress.com/design/7365530
http://t-shirts.cafepress.com/design/16648061
http://t-shirts.cafepress.com/design/9458002
http://t-shirts.cafepress.com/womens-clothing/design/27714206
I love cafepress...I could go broke buying cool t-shirts.
Thoughs are cool, I just might order some!
I also want this shirt, this one totally cracks me up!
http://www.zazzle.com/prairie_dog_pistol_shirt-235754674749995193?ZCMP=ProductPageRecs
I am also the only person I know who loves praire dogs....everyone else hates them!
If I was in your position I think I'd get that t-shirt that says "meat..it's what is rotting in your colon" and wear it to all family functions. Whenever my family says anything I just tell them to bite me and move on to people more open minded.
Yes! The way to keep people from being mean to you (at least to your face) about being vegan is to make them afraid to confront you. Every time they say something like how hard it is to feed you, lecture them about meat-eating, or how chickens are treated, and how hard it is on the environment or something. I established myself as an extreme convert immediately here at school, and never really got harassed about what I ate. The only time I've been harassed, in fact, was when I went to see my grandma, and she was trying to feed me, and asked what I _did_ eat, and my sister said "you know, rabbit food". I can't imagine how I'd have survived being vegan if I didn't know other vegetarians...I guess I'm lucky. Maybe make it about your health--say "do you really not care about me? I'm trying to be healthy here..."
I think two huge factors in the critical-teasing thing are 1) guilt - if you're doing something healthy (say quitting smoking) while they're not, they figure the best defense is a good offense and 2) the need to be cool - people will join in teasing someone else for the anticipated laughter/social approval from others
.
very good point. the guy who was harassing me was probably 50-75 lbs overweight, middle aged, balding and drunk, none the less..
I just want to offer you my support--it seems unthinkable that one could close friends and family and face ridacule and humiliation just for choosing to eat or not eat certain foods. It's very sad. I'm so sorry you are being hit so hard by this--but we are so happy that you found our little community--I hope we can make you feel loved!
http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn178/tshutshu-57/hugs.jpg
Capture, that is the cutest picture!
I so feel for you because I honestly believe if there is one person truly supporting you, it should be your husband (IMHO). Whether he is veggie or omni. He may not like your food choices but he should support your food choices and defend them in your honour. To me, food choices and eating habits are a huge part of a relationship.
I have been so very lucky. I am the only veggie in the family. My dad sometimes says, why don't you come over for dinner, we are having roast beast....fill in the blank. Then he laughs. Yet he has never made me feel bad and his partner always cooks something for me that she knows I can eat.
My sister is the best. When I visit, she prepares veggie meals for the weekend or few days I am there. She might cook meat for her family but always makes the main part veggie so I have more than potatoes. I have given her veggie cookbooks and she loves many of the recipes. Since my BIL's heart attack when he was 45, they have adopted a healthier lifestyle although their red meat consumption was not high. She incorporates veggies meals in their weekly plan now.
My good friends in Michigan eat totally veggie when I visit and they are meat eaters. No meat when I am there!
I do sometimes get teased by friends but for all the teasing, they understand my reasons and would never try to get me to eat meat.
To the point one of my best friends cooked lobster one night. Drop in the pot live lobster. She asked people not to tell me because she didn't want me upset.
One girl at work says I don't like meat much now because of you. I have never made anyone feel guilty from eating meat. Especially while they are eating. If someone asks my choices, I tell them why I don't eat it. The people that make me the craziest are the ones that say, I know vegetarian eating is healthy but I could never give up bacon, or whatever. Bacon was my favourite. For months after giving it up when I smelled it cooking I went crazy. I still think it smells good as I think anything BBQ'ing smells good.
I gave up beef, lamb and pork when I was 35. I will be 50 in a couple of weeks. I just said to everyone, I can't eat it anymore. I love animals too much. Thankfully, they were all OK with it except for a few little comments. I am also the one that doesn't step on ants and picks up worms off the sidewalk so they won't get stepped on. I am sure my revelation came as no surprise.
A few years later when I went on vacation, I decided I no longer wanted to eat fish and never craved it again. Shortly after, I went to the chicken slaughterhouse to get chicken for my pets homecooked food. There was a chicken truck. I stopped eating chicken and turkey that day.
Again, no surprise to my family and friends.
YET, there are idiots who make the comment that the reason we are on the top of the food chain....
If I am not cranky, I respond in a somewhat reasonable manner and give some facts. If I am pissed off, I say, go eat your dog when you get home tonight because pigs rank higher in intelligence.
Families can be so hard to deal with. You love them, they love you and you don't want to hurt them. Some families are concerned that you are not getting the nutrients you need because they have no clue how healthy a vegetarian/vegan diet can be.
I am ovo/lacto. I am sure it would be much harder on my family if I was vegan as many of the meals they prepare for me(and they are trying hard) involve eggs and cheese.
Right now, I am OK with that although at home, I am truly cutting down.
My saving grace, my BF of close to 17 months is omni (doesn't eat much meat at all) and seems proud that I am veggie. He could actually be veggie. But right now, I am just happy he is supportive of me.
Once in a while I joke and say, I went to MacDonald's tonight and got a Big Mac. He says, yeah right!
I wish we could all live in a world where people respected out food choices. That we weren't afraid to say what are food choices are and have them happy about it.
The last few weddings I have gone to had two choices. Usually beef and chicken. I have written a little note saying I am vegetarian so please don't spend money on meat for me but I would be happy with the potatoes and veggies. At all of these weddings, I have been served a beautiful pasta dish without meat.
As for going to family BBQ's, bring your veggie burger or meat analog. No one should be offended by it. Or bring a shish kabob to put on the BBQ.
My BIL actually lights the other grill on his BBQ to cook my food. The funny thing is I would not be offended if he cooked my food 2 or 3 inches away from his. Yet, I am honoured that they take my lifestyle seriously.
Tweety is right. Keep a sense of humour.
Also be honest with those you love. Tell them why you made the choices you made. Tell them you respect their choices so you hope they in turn can respect yours.
Good luck!
Hugs
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