Funerals
So, the 'killing some time thread' got me thinking. A lot of people stated that they don't want a funeral and I was wondering if they meant none at all or the typical solemn cryfest. I have lost many friends and relatives the last few years. Ive been to an average of three funerals a year for the last 11 years :( so I've seen the good, the bad, and the ugly of funerals. Open caskets just plain creep me out. I flat out refuse to view them.
I absolutely don't want the traditional religious everyone standing around crying thing. But I have been to several that were truly great. Lots of storytelling, pictures, eating and drinking. I think it can be nice for people to get that kind of closure, especially when you don't get to say goodbye.
I would like to be cremated and have half of my ashes spread in a skydiving ceremony and half at sea, somewhere warm.
I hope I did this right. It's my first poll. BP any pointers?
One thing I highly recommend is having everything in writing. It's free and easy. I teach medlaw and it amazes me how many people are just plain unprepared. It's great that you have talked about it. it's a good start but if it is in writing no court or other family member can dispute it.
At the very least you should have a living will and healcare proxy. Make sure you spell it out. It can also be helpful to have your healthcare proxy not be a family member. That way a family member doesn't have to be in the position of 'pulling the plug'
Also if you want to donate your body to science make sure you have that arranged too so it can go to an establishment that you approve of.
Those are things I never would have thought of, but can definitely see are important. Thanks for sharing .
No problem. So many times life ends unexpectedly and other people are left holding the pieces and wondering what to do. I had to fight for my mothers wishes to be respected and at age 19 that was hard to do. I final got her way but if she had just written it down legally it would have been much easier. Oddly enough it was the priest that actually stood up for me and help eased tensions.
I'm going to leave the choice to my loved ones. They will be the ones left behind dealing with some pretty heavy emotions. I want them to be able to feel at peace. Whatever method that will bring them the most comfort will be their choice.
As I fully expect my DH who is nearly 20 yrs my senior to go first, and as I have no family now, I suppose no one will realise I'm dead until the smell reaches the corridor of our building. Not being morbid, just realistic. So it doesn't really matter what they do with the outer shell. I'll be long gone to a better place, the husk doesn't bother me.
But if I have to choose, I prefer the idea of a "thanksgiving for the life of" -- a celebration of what was good, not a cry fest. Let there be joy, always.
Yabbitgirl, I thought I was probably the only one with such an age difference. :) My S/O who is 15 yrs older than me always said he didn't want anything fancy. Just a small group of friends to get together and.......bring him back to life. LOL What he really wants and I would have to agree is a big party to celebrate life. Lots of food and drink and happy raucous stories.
However, in my case, I'm very estranged from my family except my sis. What I see as probably happening is I get cremated and my sis is the only one there.
As far as writing it down, doesn't it have to be notarized for it to actually be legal? I have written a lot of different things down, everything from "just let me die" when I was depressed to, "keep me alive at all costs". I think a lot of written stuff can be contested.
Personally, I'm thinking that donating my body to science to help stop animal testing sounds pretty good right now. I hadn't thought about that before. If my body can help save at least one animal, and I might put THAT into writing, I'm all for it! :)
When I'm gone, I'd like friends and family to be able to remember the good stuff about me, laugh about the bad and basically party with each other.
No body needed, just cremate me and send me to the winds, but dealing with emotions regarding death are easier dealt with with others feeling them too. So have a get together, just don't cry for me. Just celebrate the time we were all fortunate enough to share.
Hope that's not too egocentric.
However, in my case, I'm very estranged from my family except my sis. What I see as probably happening is I get cremated and my sis is the only one there.
Me too. I am as estranged from my family as one can possibly get. In fact I would be in fear of my life or my reason if I ran into certain members thereof.
Just another reason I live in Europe... ;D
As far as writing it down, doesn't it have to be notarized for it to actually be legal? I have written a lot of different things down, everything from "just let me die" when I was depressed to, "keep me alive at all costs". I think a lot of written stuff can be contested.
It is BEST to have notarized but it does not HAVE to be. Do have at least two people wittiness it and keep it in a safe place with the rest of your important papers. Having it notarized does makes it more court proof but most hospitals will just take something in writing.
I feel that funerals and memorials services are really for the people left behind and not for the deceased. I don't want anything fancy, but I'd like some sort of memorial service and reception for my friends and family to have the chance to remember and share. I've been to some fantastic, low budget memorials that really were celebrations of life and that's what I'd like for my loved ones when I kick the bucket!
Mostly I want to donate all my organs etc. and for the songs The Show Must Go On by Queen and Patty Murphie by Great Big Sea to be played!
I too want no funeral when I die. I wish it were legal to just take my dead lifeless body and dump it in the ocean off of Montauk Point so I could become food for the fishes....... ??? ;)
Today, Oct. 10th is the 1 year anniversary of my father's passing away.....I was just at his grave up in NY this past weekend.....looking around while I was there.....it struck me as what a HUGE waste of space grave yards are.... :P
ACTUALLY! I just read an article in either Veg News or Vegetarian times (can't remember, duh) and there are "natural" burial grounds through out the US (maybe Europe too). No preserving our pretty faces with formaldehyde & polluting the earth- Just a pine box (CLOSED!) with a piece of stone marking your spot where you feed the earth.
Also, i remember hearing about a way that they can cremate your body & turn it into "coral" & place you in the sea to help preserve down there too.
See?! We can still keep "working" our cause even after we are... dead & buried ::wink::
xxm
Luda Blue, I heard about these on NPR. And they have at least one in SC!! I used to want to be cremated, but now I want the natural burial. My family has a lot of land, so if possible, I would like to be buried there, but if not...natural cemetary for me!
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