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Insomniac theater: cheesy jokes, quips, puns, proverbs and other fun

As I sit restless and bored I thought how great it would be to hear some of the things other people have heard or have thought. I offer up this digital ground for others to plant the seeds of mirth, wisdom and musings. I am emphasizing freedom of thought over any "theme" for the thread. Random thoughts are very welcome here  :>

Example 1: the literary difference between a cat and a comma is that one is a pause at the end of a clause, while the other has claws at the end of its paws (yes I am a dork)

2: My friend Becky reminded me yesterday that "time never procrastinates"

3: "We grow too soon old and too late schmart."(sic) -Pennsylvania Dutch proverb

4: Q. what did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
    A. Rough!!

the cats are boxing,
the box delivered by Domino's is now empty

I'm still hungry.
Eat cookies and cream cake?
Coffee cake?
Or spring rolls?

Decisions decisions.

if only all difficult decisions were so.

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Ooh, I haven't done any takeout for a few months. I love a hand-tossed black olive, pineapple pizza from dominoes, but it never tastes as good the second day :/

I love this one:
Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted. -John Lennon

(lol, when I was 15 I had long hair and John Lennon glasses  but I think I looked more like my mom than him at the time)

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hey, are you new here? You live in KY...Im looking at a school there...So, tell me its the super coolest place to be vegan ever? huh, maybe...I hope...

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Calories don't count when consumed in the company of good friends.
Followed by--"Chocolate! A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips."

Why do you gain 3 pounds from eating 4 ounces of chocolate?

Yup, I've got a jones going on...

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hey, are you new here? You live in KY...Im looking at a school there...So, tell me its the super coolest place to be vegan ever? huh, maybe...I hope...

Yep, I am new here  8) but I'm quickly becoming addicted.
So I'm in northern KY, which is basically suburbs of Cincinnati. I would have to rate the area about a 6.5. I have access to a handful of natural food stores, theres a Trader Joe's or two and Fresh Market in Cincinnati. (Also plenty of Indian restaurants there too = awesome!) And a short drive north of the city will land you at Jungle Jim's, a world food store about twice the size of WalMart.

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