Just stuff.....
Hi guys,
I meant to come on line today...OK yesterday now to wish all the mothers a Happy Mother's Day. That includes mother's of the non human kind of babies as well. You know, the furred, feathered, scaled and fishies. Mother's Day is always depressing to me because of my mom. Davedrum and Jennifer H, I thought about you today.
So belated Happy Mother's Day to you all!
Well, I am starting the quit smoking race again when I get up in the morning. I am now wheezing like I did 14 years ago. I feel like crap and I am tired all the time. I feel like the cigarettes are sucking the life out of me.
On the bright side, my place is getting done and my BF is the best. I am so glad I met him although under unusual circumstances.
The other night he went to a West Indian or Caribbean restaurant and got take out. Surprised me with it because he thinks I don't eat well. I don't! My critters do, but I don't.
He does eat some meat (not much) but totally respects that I don't. So he ordered vegetable chow mein but he wanted the chicken chow mein so he asked that they put the chicken in a separate container so he could add it to his (he didn't want the chicken to touch my food).
Also ordered doubles which is some fried thing with chick peas. Also ordered the potato/channa curried roti for me because I love it. Potato and chick peas. He figured I could take it for lunch the next day, which I did. For me and my friend.
When I went to get him a beer and me a drink, he picked all the carrots out of my chow mein because I am allergic to carrots. I love them and can tolerate them when they are cooked really well (although I get conjested), but when they are raw or just lightly steamed...not a good thing. My throat starts to close. Is he sweet or what?
He is probably one of the best things that has happened in my life in many years. I can only say one of the best things because my newest critters rank right up there (as do my older ones).
The most exciting thing is he is lactose intolerant and I gave him a Toffuti Cutie on Saturday. He loved it! A new convert!!!!!!
Now, on a bizarre note and this is totally upsetting to me, I often call Cali, Isabela. I don't mean to and it makes me sad because animals understand things. I don't want Cali to think she doesn't mean the world to me because she does. It just comes out.
Do any of you do the same thing? I have done it in the past with previous pets but only once in a while. I seem to be doing it constantly. I left a phone message for a friend of mine and she said...you know you said Isabela. When my BF was over on Saturday, I did it again and he said, Isabela? I do it all the time.
Isabela passed away in my arms June 1st, 2006. I have no idea why I can't get over her or why I call Cali, Isabela. It makes me think I am not moving on.
Cali is totally special to me and I love her to bits. I nursed her back to health and spent hours daily doing so for several months. So, I can't figure out why I constantly talk about her and say Isabela.
A communicator that talked to Isabela when she was dying told me Isabela blamed herself when I said I wouldn't get another dog. So I promised Isabela I would rescue another one. I kept my promise.
For all of you out there that understand this stuff....do you think Isabela is still around? Do you think she is constantly on my mind because she is happy with my choice in Cali.
Cali is an amazing dog that is totally sensitive and had a horrible beginning in life. As she finds things of Isabela's, she eats them. Isabela's collars, leashes etc. The only leash of Isabela's she hasn't eaten is the one I use to walk her. I figure she knows if she eats that one, she won't get to go for a walk.
Don't get me wrong, she eats all my shoes and most everything she finds but it is sad to come home and find she has eaten another Isabela thing.
None the less, I just moved Isabela's paw print (imprinted after death because the girl that works at my vet requested it as a gift for me) and her ashes have just been moved to my finally completed bedroom. As have the ashes of Willie, Teddy, Boobie and Pie. They have a special spot on my bureau.
Cali can't reach them! :-)
OK, I have rambled. When I get up in the morning, I want to start a pro active plan for my health. Adding more fruits and veggies. Actually eating! I can go all day without eating. I need to start exercising again too. I will be chewing a lot of gum in the upcoming days. No smokes....gum!
Even when I sneak a smoke and brush my teeth, my BF says...you were smoking weren't you?
What a horrible habit!
SOOOOOOO...how is everyone doing on the not smoking and weight loss?
I NEED TO KNOW!!!!!!!
Hugs to you all and have a great week!
Di and the 10 furred and feathered
P.S. I think the reason I talk about my new BF so much is because he is the first guy I have ever met that has not dissed me for not eating meat or ever teased me about it. I said I don't eat meat. I told him why and that is good with him. He respects my decision. Yepper, I think he is a keeper.
I even admitted that I crave it some time and he says.....you don't eat meat!
Hi Di, your guy is definitely a keeper.
I have followed your story about Cali & you did an amazing job of nursing her back to health. As much as I love my pets, I don't know if I could have had the same patience as you.
You are still grieving Isabela's loss. There is no rule to how we grieve....we all do it differently. Some may breeze through the 5 steps of grief while others get stuck for a while. You miss her & that's ok. I think that in her own way, Cali is trying to help you through this.
As for the smoking, good for you for giving it another go. I was a long time smoker. 30 years, a pack a day, except for my pregnancy. I've been arguing with myself for the last few years about quitting smoking. I was just too scared to try. When I read your posts here about quitting, I knew I had to do it & your posts gave me the extra push I needed. I need help with it though as I can't do it by myself, so I am on the patch & I say thank god for the patch. Are you using any kind of nicotine replacement....gum, patch, pills? I quit cold turkey when I got pregnant but I couldn't do it this time. People that quit cold turkey have my utmost respect & awe!!
As for the weight gain that goes with quitting :o 10 pounds in 6 weeks! I had to buy new clothes. Old ones were too tight. But I figure a few extra pounds are WAY healthier than smoking! Plus I'm 46 years old, I really don't need to be wearing a bikini anymore ;D but I still want to.
All the best to you.
Stay strong :)
Di, I haven't been doing so well on the weight loss either, BUT. My life is changing permanently on June 4. DH has been denied disability and if he retires now he would lose about a quarter of his pension, so he is taking dismissal at the end of the pay period and will be unemployed for 2 yrs (which will mean less money than we have now.) After 2 yrs he can retire at 64 and only lose about 6% of his pension. So it's been tough.
BUT when he's home again (3 weeks to go!) we will definitely start walking together twice a day. Though I will have to tutor more, he will help me with housework etc. so I can get out more. And we'll def. be eating differently. Please God he will fall in love with tofu and seitan! I'm hoping with more exercise and less stress the pounds will come off. I've decided only to shoot for a 12-15 lb loss, as if I ever see 80 kg again I'll be happy. I got down to 79 2 yrs ago and I think it was trying to get past that, that caused the yoyo effect. So much of weight loss is mental!
Davedrum and Jennifer H, I thought about you today.
So belated Happy Mother's Day to you all!
:) Thank you. We had a lovely day here of doing nothing! Watched two movies and just ignored life and the outside world. It was nice for a change.
DH kept whispering to our 2 year old trying to get him to say things like, "Mommo you're pretty!" all day and that made me happy...
On another note I decided not to go ahead with a surgey and just let things take their natural course. It is frustrating waiting it out but we discussed it with the doctor and I'm not in danger as long as I have no infection signs and we feel like it's the best choice. Once I feel up to it I can get myself back on the treadmill. Running (slowly :)) really makes me feel good and obviously I haven't been able to lately.
Well, I am starting the quit smoking race again when I get up in the morning. I am now wheezing like I did 14 years ago. I feel like crap and I am tired all the time. I feel like the cigarettes are sucking the life out of me.
You're not starting the race again... it's a marathon, you're still working on the same race! Just hang in there. They are just 'things' and you can do it, you can say goodbye to them. Hey instead of sneaking a smoke and brushing your teeth afterwards... just go brush instead! Replace the bad habit with the good one! You'll have a happy dentist at the very least. :)
Say HI to Cali for me! :)
And your BF sounds super special. :)
I think the reason you are calling Cali Isabela is because your love for her is like the love you had for Isabela. She probably gives you the same joy, and it reminds you of Isabela, so that is the name that comes out. Don't let it upset you, it's actually very sweet. If Cali is aware of it, she's probably glad to know that she is able to give you the same kind of love as Isabela.
Your boyfriend sounds amazing. Seems like a keeper to me too. Good luck on your smoking race, we're all here cheering you on!
Di...I saw this to you as mom of critters as well to moms of human offspring. If you don't take care of yourself FIRST you will not be able to care for others at all.
I have had lupus for about 10 yrs, as far was we can tell. I didn't get a diagnosis confirmed until last year because I refused to even discuss it with my MD. Her answer to everything has always been to take antidepressants and then accuses me of resistence or being drug seeking when I have a serious reaction to them. I am allergic to every one of them and I just could not face being told to try yet another (don't you think trying 8 different ones and nearly dying on a couple of them is enough experimentation?).
Though all of the years when I didn't face up to this problem, I drove myself very hard. I, too, would not eat for days at a time and worse still, not sleep for days at a time either, trying to get everything done. This habit crescendoed in November of 2004 when I had another drug reaction and this one was very nearly fatal. Since that time, I can't drive myself like I once did. I ignore housework and cooking and go to bed. I value my sleep above anything except my family and our critters. I was forced to slow down and take care of myself. Part of taking better care was veganism to help reduce my flares. As long as I stop and sleep when I need to and eat as well as I can (sometimes the lupus causes gastroparesis), I rarely flare up.
It was an extremely difficult lesson to learn and one that nearly killed me. Now, I take care of myself first because if I don't, I can't take care of anyone else. Maximizing your energy and mood with good foods, enough sleep and some exercise, even if it is just dog walking, is important. It also helps you better appreciate the really good things in life, like a splendid new boyfriend who really cares and in minute ways that are very special. Yeah, you owe your critters to take care of yourself, but don't forget that you deserve it, you are entitled to it.
That goes for all the other moms here too.
I'm glad things seem on the upswing for you.
I'm still quit..and I lost the 4lbs I gained from quitting...I'd like to lose another 5, but I don't think it's happening so I think Ill just stick where I am. I'm comfortable at this weight and I find it easy to maintain.
Thanks for thinking about me Di! Always great to hear about Cali, and it's great to hear about your new BF as well....good for you! :)
Hey Di, I drop by for the first time in a while & read your post. Sounds like things are good! I call Booyah "Zakie" all the time. Our pups are happy we talk to them & don't care so much what we say. Although a treat would be nice! ;)
It takes a while to re-wire the brain sometimes. For a long time dog= Isabela to you. Now that dog = Cali, your brain still reverts to the old equation sometimes. It's not that you love Cali any less. I had a similar problem for a while. Cat = Stevie and when Stevie passed away, the two other cats I got, when she got old and the reality that she would be going over the Rainbow Bridge soon sunk in, would ocasionally get called Stevie. Now I will sometimes call one of the boy cats by the other ones name but that's because they're both "B" names. My DH does that same thing.
Thank you all for your wonderful replies!
I know we can all achieve what we want to with the help of the many wonderful caring people on this board.
It might take longer for some of us. Might not.
It is also amazing that people from this board share their many successes and their not so great successes and that we all rally around each other and show how much we care.
We also share our joys and sorrows. Sometimes, I think it is easier to post a message to our 'cyber friends' than it is to express our feelings to our friends that are with us on a day to day basis.
I read each post and would like to comment on them all. So, slowly as I have a hugely busy couple of days, I will do just that!
You have all helped me greatly over the past. I will be visiting friends in the States for 4 days this weekend and will have no access to a computer but will respond to each and everyone of you in the next few days.
Thank you all....from the bottom of my heart!
Hugs
Di
As for the smoking, good for you for giving it another go. I was a long time smoker. 30 years, a pack a day, except for my pregnancy. I've been arguing with myself for the last few years about quitting smoking. I was just too scared to try. When I read your posts here about quitting, I knew I had to do it & your posts gave me the extra push I needed. I need help with it though as I can't do it by myself, so I am on the patch & I say thank god for the patch. Are you using any kind of nicotine replacement....gum, patch, pills? I quit cold turkey when I got pregnant but I couldn't do it this time. People that quit cold turkey have my utmost respect & awe!!
Thank you so much and good that you that you are finally doing the ultimate quit! I am a cold turkey quitter so am really trying to get ready.
I think we all need help when quitting but the only person we really have to impress is ourselves.
I also believe, every single person on this board could do what I did for Cali. She needed help. I happened to be there. You would have been there too!!!!
Thanks again and good luck with the smoking! Or not smoking!!!!!!
Crap, I have a couple of years on you!!!
Hugs
Di
Di, I haven't been doing so well on the weight loss either, BUT. My life is changing permanently on June 4. DH has been denied disability and if he retires now he would lose about a quarter of his pension, so he is taking dismissal at the end of the pay period and will be unemployed for 2 yrs (which will mean less money than we have now.) After 2 yrs he can retire at 64 and only lose about 6% of his pension. So it's been tough.
BUT when he's home again (3 weeks to go!) we will definitely start walking together twice a day. Though I will have to tutor more, he will help me with housework etc. so I can get out more. And we'll def. be eating differently. Please God he will fall in love with tofu and seitan! I'm hoping with more exercise and less stress the pounds will come off. I've decided only to shoot for a 12-15 lb loss, as if I ever see 80 kg again I'll be happy. I got down to 79 2 yrs ago and I think it was trying to get past that, that caused the yoyo effect. So much of weight loss is mental!
Yabbitgirl,
You will get the weight off and you WILL get through all the hardships with your husband's situation. I love your posts. You are strong and we are all here for you!
Weight is just a number on a scale. Healthy is the most important thing. I want to lose 10 to 15 pounds and I am sure I will, Right now, my livingroom floor is cement. Can't wait until I can set up my Gazelle and other equipment again. It is a goal I want to achieve because being peri-menopausal, my hormones are changing and I think they want me to keep on extra weight. I hopefully will have a livingroom again in three or four weeks. Then, you and I can do the exercise comparison thing. Keep your chin up!!! The positive, your husband will be home in 3 weeks. Together, you can work on getting to a 'happy' weight and getting fit together. I am excited for you!!!!!
Hugs
Di
Your son sounds incredibly special and you are one very lucky momma!
I hope your medical issues remain passive and that you heal naturally as you wish to. You are so sweet and I thank you for all the support you have given me over the past few months.
I always look forward to your posts.
Take care and know that you are one very lucky lady to have a beautiful little boy that loves you very much! Sounds like your hubby is one special guy as well!!!!!!!
Hugs to you and your family,
Di
{posted in your other thread}