Newly Vegetarian
Hello all! I have recently decided to become vegetarian for ethical reasons, I haven't had meat for two weeks now exactly and I really feel great! Well, I haven't really told my family members or friends, I haven't even really told my husband. I am looking for some tips or suggestions on how to gently tell people???? Honestly I tend to be somewhat sensitive to criticism and I'm sure not everyone is going to understand or approve of my decision.
I know the topic will more than likely come up this weekend, the family is getting together for a father's day BBQ. I LOVE to cook so I end catering a lot of these family functions. My dad wants chicken and steak fajitas, so fine, they are for him not me so I guess I'll go ahead and marinade the meat. I'm taking meat for everyone else and bringing tofu for myself. Right away that is going to single me out, not only is it out of the ordinary for me but diffrent from everyone else. I'm sure it will come up then if not sooner and I don't know what to say!!!!!! I'm thinking maybe I should bring it up before Sunday's BBQ so that it isn't an issue at that point...but I don't know! I tend to avoid conflict or confrontation so that will be hard for me to do too. HELP!
Another thing going on in my mind is I know my husband will not go vegetarian. He is willing to eat veg with me sometimes, but other times he will want meat instead.... So I will have to make him meat and me tofu. Does this make me a hypocrite? I kind of feel like one :-\ But at the same time 1. I don't want my decision to affect my relationship with my husband or others for that matter and 2. I wouldn't feel right imposing my beliefs on him anyway. As long as he respects my decision I have to respect his. So I'm a little confused on that too......?
Welcome!!!! and Congratulations! Many people have started out the same way as you (myself included). I would reccommend you talk to your husband before anyone else. Try to keep the conversation casual and explain the reasons why you decided to give up meat. Make sure to assure him that you do not expect him to go vegetarian too and that you will still cook him the same foods you normally do. Try to ease any other concerns that he may have. Be prepared for questions such as where will you get your protein? and iron?
Then call your dad and have the same type of conversation. You are a grown woman making an intelligent decision for yourself. If you are excited and happy about the change, they will most likely be happy for you. I tend to emphasize the health benefits when I talk to others because this seems to be received better than the animal rights aspect. If anyone makes rude jokes or bothers you, don't get into a fight about it, just say something like, "This is a change I'm making for myself, it doesn't impact you"
As for preparing meat for others, just do whatever makes you feel comfortable. We always took turns making dinner. When I first switched over I continued to make meat for my husband for a while and worked on perfecting my tofu & tempeh cooking. He would occasionally try what I was eating and when he said he liked something I would remember that and make it again for both of us another day. Eventually I stopped making meat for him and he started making me veg dinners and now he usually eats vegan at home. The only non vegan foods left in our house are tuna fish, lunchmeat & butter. But I never pressured him or tried to change him, he just decided on his own to reduce the amount of meat and dairy that he comsumes.
Welcome Pooh bear! :) I think it's great that you decided to go veg! :w00t!: I agree that you should have a talk with your hubby first and then your family. I would just explain to them the reasons you are chosing to give up meat. And let them know that you are not trying to impose your beliefs on them. And like lisaanddini said, be prepared for questions. The more prepared you are, the better. Knowledge is definitely your friend.
I am recently veg too. My kids and I decided to do so early this spring. My hubby was very supportive and he actually eats anything I make. His only criteria...it has to taste good, LOL! One of his faves are the Boca "chicken" patties. My mom is basically supportive, but still insists that we need meat to be healthy and get all our vitamins.
Just take it a day at a time. Vegweb is a great source of support and info! Also, invest in a good cookbook! I think there may be a thread about them in the food/cooking forum.
Good luck to you!
If anyone makes rude jokes or bothers you, don't get into a fight about it, just say something like, "This is a change I'm making for myself, it doesn't impact you"
That's a good one, I'll just try and remember to keep that attitude. I have a tendency to get defensive because I'm so darn sensitive (I'm working on that too) and I know I need to be really careful not to come off that way if I don't want to turn people off to the idea of vegetarianism. The health aspect is a good one to use too! I have lupus so eating a lower protien, high fiber, plant based diet is much better for me anyway.
I'm hoping this change won't come as a shock to anyone. I've bought only cruelty free consumer products for at least 10 years now, I don't buy fur, cashmere....stuff like tha, and I'm constantly defending wildlife commonly thought of as pests (rabbits, praire dogs, mice, racoons....things like that). maybe I'm getting all worked up and worried over nothing! :)
Another thing going on in my mind is I know my husband will not go vegetarian. He is willing to eat veg with me sometimes, but other times he will want meat instead.... So I will have to make him meat and me tofu. Does this make me a hypocrite? I kind of feel like one :-\ But at the same time 1. I don't want my decision to affect my relationship with my husband or others for that matter and 2. I wouldn't feel right imposing my beliefs on him anyway. As long as he respects my decision I have to respect his. So I'm a little confused on that too......?
No, it won't make you a hypocrite. I'm in that same situation; DH won't hardly touch veg and fruit. Mutual respect is the only possible basis for a good relationship (well other stuff too but respect is bedrock). If he is going to respect you, you should respect him. As I say, my DH was 37 when we married, all growed up. If you want to be treated like an adult, treating others like adults is a good starting place.
If he will share some dishes that look interesting to him, well and good...more than one person has been won over gradually with no fanfare because their SO wasn't all "in your face" about it.
Welcome Pooh Bear :)
You have gotten some great advice... i just want to ad something... I became a vegetarian over 20 years ago and have never looked back. I have found with a lot of people (NOT talking about your husband or family) it is best to not say anything and not make a big deal out of it, because then it will be a big deal to them and you don't have to feel that you have to justify your decision. You are doing what you feel it the ethical thing to do for you and not pushing it on anyone else. If they have a problem with it, it is exactly that IMO, THEIR problem, not yours. It is well documented that a vegetarian/vegan diet is healthy, good for the environment and better for the animals on the planet.
When I first became a vegetarian over 20 years ago, a lot of people had never heard of such a thing and regarded you as a "nut", but that has changed over the years. In the beginning my husband still ate meat, but as he saw and tasted all the delicious food available and read more about the health benefits and especially as he found out more about the way "food" animals are treated, he became a vegetarian, without my forcing or coercing him ;)b
Best of luck to you!
Welcome Pooh Bear :)
You have gotten some great advice... i just want to ad something... I became a vegetarian over 20 years ago and have never looked back. I have found with a lot of people (NOT talking about your husband or family) it is best to not say anything and not make a big deal out of it, because then it will be a big deal to them and you don't have to feel that you have to justify your decision. You are doing what you feel it the ethical thing to do for you and not pushing it on anyone else. If they have a problem with it, it is exactly that IMO, THEIR problem, not yours.
ya, that is how I've been treating it so far. I have made some veg dinners without pointing it out and my husband didn't say anything about it...he seemed to like them so....
it's kind of funny actually, last night I made spicy thai peanut tofu stir fry (one of our favs, I posted the recipe on the site this morning)... well, I made my husbands with meat and mine with tofu, just trying to be respectful because I figured he'd rather have it with the meat. While we were eating he says "what's that in yours". I told him tofu! He then said "well...why do you get the tofu?! What if I wanted tofu too?!" ;D I explained to him I just figured he'd enjoy his more with the meat, next time I will happily make the entire recipe with tofu! ;)b
While we were eating he says "what's that in yours". I told him tofu! He then said "well...why do you get the tofu?! What if I wanted tofu too?!" ;D I explained to him I just figured he'd enjoy his more with the meat, next time I will happily make the entire recipe with tofu! ;)b
That's so cute! And welcome to the veggie world, Pooh Bear!
By the way, I love your name.
While we were eating he says "what's that in yours". I told him tofu! He then said "well...why do you get the tofu?! What if I wanted tofu too?!" ;D I explained to him I just figured he'd enjoy his more with the meat, next time I will happily make the entire recipe with tofu! ;)b
That's so cute! And welcome to the veggie world, Pooh Bear!
ya, I bought soy milk though (its was even chocolate soy milk, yummy) and he said "Soy milk! That's for chicks!" Oh well, I guess you can't win them all :P
By the way, I love your name.
Thanks, it's actually one of my kitties names :)>>> She was originally named Baby...then I started calling her chubby bear which somehow morphed into pooh bear! Well, that one stuck! Now it's pooh bear or princess pooh bear! I attached a pic of her, she's so pretty!
Oh, I am going to look for that recipe, sounds yummy !
Oh, I am going to look for that recipe, sounds yummy !
hopefully it shows up soon, when I posted it they said it could take 1-6 weeks. I didn't take a picture though....I will next time!
wow, 1 yo 6 weeks? I will keep looking for it. I looooove thai food :)>>>
wow, 1 yo 6 weeks? I will keep looking for it. I looooove thai food :)>>>
do you want me to post it on the chat forum? you could get it sooner that way :)
that would be great! ;)
I posted it on the Vegan Food and Cooking Forum.... it's called Thai Peanut Tofu Stir-Fry with Spicy Peanut Sauce. Let me know if you try it and how you like it! :)
Thanks a bunch, I will try it next week and I am sure I will love it :D