Open letters
Seeing as we've got confessions and problems and issues springing up in threads all over the shop, I thought it might be interesting to have an open letter thread. Cathartic, perhaps. From your mother ruining your wedding, to your boyfriend who can't stop peeing on the toilet seat, or even that guy on the bus who kept making that annoying noise with his mouth, get it out here.
I'll get the ball rolling.
To my dear darling boyfriend,
Just because you are technically 'clean' when you come out the shower, it doesn't mean that I am okay with using the same towel you've been rubbing all over yourself for a month. I know you have others. I bought you two myself. Drag them out from the murky depths of the laundry basket, wash them and allow me the temporary use of a clean one.
Love, Cat
Dear Pinks,
Thanks, you rock. I hope Craig's List had something awesome for you!
All my love,
~Cali
Dear Beeps Lungs,
You had better be healed and not giving BP any phlegm! I think you two need to work this out quickly as it sounds like this weekend was brutal to you both. I especially dislike the fact that you convinced my lungs that they like to cough now too.
Here is hoping everything gets better soon!
Love,
~Coughing Cali
Dear Carrot Wench,
Its so awesome you are back! Yay for living the vegan dream and having the most awesome little babies ever!
Rock on,
~Friend to rodents
Dear KMK,
You are WAY hard on yourself! Stop it. You are seriously one of the most awesome people I've ever met! Be good to yourself, you deserve it.
Big hugs,
~Cali
Dear VW,
You all rock and I wish I could post an open letter to each one of you individually. US Customs, Dental Surgeons and even Colorado included but I need to get back to work. I hope you all have an awesome day.
With love,
~Cali
Dear Toes,
Please stop hurting. I realize I walked on you all weekend at Faire in big heavy boots but I am going to the gym today in 20 minutes no matter what! So stop making me walk around like I am 80.
Thanks,
~C
Dear Company in which I work,
After freelancing here full time, for over a year, with no benefits or health insurance or paid days off - Thank you for finally offering me a full time staff position. However, since the salary offered is so much lower than I currently earn per hour (even with the value of benefits), I can not accept. I'll keep my freelance status.
At least I now have the incentive to look for a new job (with benefits).
Love,
Just getting by and keeping my fingers crossed.
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Dear Health Care System,
You are way to expensive. Plus, you suck.
Love,
Member of the 48 million uninsured club.
Dear Self,
Way to hustle! Pat you on the back for being so efficient.
Self
Dear Employer,
Do you realize what a good deal you got when you hired me? You should give me a raise.
Employee
(p.s. please don't fire me for saying the "r" word)
Dear Self-
Why are you such a clean freak. You seriously drive yourself crazy as well as everyone else with your clean freak habits! Could please learn to lighten up a little? I mean in the whole scheme of things, does it really matter if the floor isn't sweep EVERY day? Are you going to physically die if there are water spots on the faucets? I mean really..... I'm sick of you clean freak, I'm asking you nicely to go away (and I will only ask nicely once) >:(
Sincerely-
PB (aka self)
Dear PB,
I have some dust bunnies calling you. Please come soon.
~Lazy
Dear PB,
I have some dust bunnies calling you. Please come soon.
~Lazy
LOL! The clean freak is gone, vacated the premises as of about an hour ago..... :P
No seriously, dust bunnies drive me crazy. I just got done picking up all the dust bunnies off my floor this morning!
Dear Clean Freaks,
Please use gloves, because http://i226.photobucket.com/albums/dd118/b-gayle/Icons/Funny/thdustbunnysex.jpg.
Not a Clean Freak,
hh
Dear Clean Freaks,
Please use gloves, because http://i226.photobucket.com/albums/dd118/b-gayle/Icons/Funny/thdustbunnysex.jpg.
Not a Clean Freak,
hh
:-D Thats awesome!
Dear PB,
Never, ever buy a house over 3000sq. ft.
Looking forward to a quaint condo again,
A-fellow-neat-freak-turned-insomniac
To late, I already live in that hell ;) 4 bedroom 3 bath plus basement...plenty of room for evil dust bunnies to loom....
Dear Dust Bunnies,
Enjoy yourselves. I won't disturb you. All I ask is that you PLEASE start using protection. Your population is getting a bit out of hand.
-Not one to interfere with DB luv
Dear MDV-
Move to Colorado and we can open our own OCD cleaning company.... It will be awesome!
PB
ps- you have given me a new OCD goal to accomplish....I only vaccum every 2-3 days with 4 cats and 2 dogs.... I will aim to your OCD-ness and starting everyone 1-2 days. ;) ^-^
Dear PB and MDV,
Do you ever watch Flipping Out? You guys remind me of Jeff Lewis. ;D I wish I were just a little more like you. Though I did run my Roomba last night in my guest room. Aren't you proud?
Love,
VC
dear moths in my cupboard,
i really hope you haven't infested ALL of my food. i can't afford to buy new. moths belong outside, anyway. what are you doing in my house? jerks.
-- angry/nauseous owner of the raisin you laid eggs in
Dear US Customs and Border Control,
Please stop being numbskulls for pk. We want him to make it to his culinary school so that when we visit his treehouse he can make us good eats.
KThnx.
I'm in boulder now and it rox! I hope it works out.
Lucky you, I love Boulder! You are now about 30 minutes away from me! Is this your first time in boulder?
Yes it is, and it's great! I love how they dedicate half the roads to bike lanes! And how everyone rides their bikes or takes the very efficient public transportation.. and how they all garden, and how they smile at you when you walk by! This place is turning out to be my fav. US location!
Yes it is, and it's great! I love how they dedicate half the roads to bike lanes! And how everyone rides their bikes or takes the very efficient public transportation.. and how they all garden, and how they smile at you when you walk by! This place is turning out to be my fav. US location!
Sounds like Missoula..which you freakin' missed!
Yes it is, and it's great! I love how they dedicate half the roads to bike lanes! And how everyone rides their bikes or takes the very efficient public transportation.. and how they all garden, and how they smile at you when you walk by! This place is turning out to be my fav. US location!
Sounds like Missoula..which you freakin' missed!
Uhm, please, I tried to drive down! I am traumatized from the experience, so let's not bring it up again? kthx. :-*
Uhm, please, I tried to drive down! I am traumatized from the experience, so let's not bring it up again? kthx. :-*
FINE. But in return, I need a paid trip to Costa Rica, for two.
Uhm, please, I tried to drive down! I am traumatized from the experience, so let's not bring it up again? kthx. :-*
FINE. But in return, I need a paid trip to Costa Rica, for two.
Free food and lodging while down, plus transport to and from the airport.
final offer.
Dear MDV-
Not only are my clothes organized in rainbow order but they are catergoried by 'type', and then rainbow color. Common catergories are tank tops, t-shirts, short sleeve button downs, long sleeve button down, long sleeve cotton (casual), long sleeve cotton (more dressy), jackets from casual to dressy in order, shorts, skirts, jeans, dress pants....I think you get the idea :D I am so lame and way extreme OCD. I organize my shoes in the same way. I actually take zoloft for my OCD (don't tell my secret :-X).
PB
ps- MDV do you triple check all your locks at night and check for boogie men in the basement?????
Free food and lodging while down, plus transport to and from the airport.
final offer.
Oweas.
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