Venting: negative reactions to becoming veg.
so about a month ago, before i committed to being vegetarian (i'm brand new :)), I was staying at a friend's family beach house. Her parents were cooking us dinner, and started asking everyone if they eat meat. I told them I was thinking about becoming vegetarian. They asked why - I said based on the factory farming issues in this country, that animals are being inhumanly raised and killed. (I didn't want to get into detail)
and they came down on me saying if you eat organic and know what you are eating that there is no reason to not eat meat (unless is for health reasons only.)
I knew my friend's mother's arguments were based on assumptions and basically, wrong. I did not continue the conversation- it was not appropriate. :-X
What upset me is that, I was not being judgmental of them, I feel the choice to become veg is a personal choice - It's not my business what other people put in their mouths - I focus on what I do.
but they felt the need to give argument to my reasons to become veg. It felt very judgemental - It upset me very much. :(
More recently, a work friend suggested i try a Argentinian steak house - after discussing visiting the country. I said I was not eating meat anymore. Her response was an unpleasant look on her face - followed by "well what are you going to eat when you to go to Argentina?" ???
the bottom line to these two stories is that, I have made a choice that I feel really good about, that is based on my values, is healthy...etc. Yet many people seem to look down on being vegetarian or vegan. Of those I talked to about it, I have yet to hear a "good for you".
I hope that with time that people's perceptions will grow to see that being vegetarian or vegan is a way of life to respect and maybe even look up to.
venting done.
Oh i forgot to add that another friend that was present in story number 1 - when i said i was thinking about being vegetarian - said "Lauren !!???" :o and looked at me like i had eight heads. Thanks Danielle, thank you for being such a sweat friend - you made me feel great. ;)
I try to avoid people like that as much as I can. Obviously you can't with family....what's the expression..."you can pick your nose but not your family". Just let people's comments go in one ear and out the other. I've been dealing with people's negative comments for almost 20 years. Personally I could give a crap about what others think of my eating habits.
mayhaps they like making us feel bad so that they feel better about doing something you know is wrong.... like... when you're trying to cut back on sugar, and someone keeps trying really hard to get you to have an ice cream cone with them.... they know they should probably lay off the sugar too, but they don't want to feel guilty, so they try to get you to eat some. That way you feel guilty and they don't.....
Wow....I think I confused myself..... :o
No, you didn't. I don't know how many times I have announced my intention to cut back and lose weight only to have DH bring treats home and then act all sad because I don't appreciate the gesture. Sabotage, and he doesn't even realise he's doing it.
You used the word "mayhap!" As a person who spends FAR too much time with my head wedged tightly in 17th century Eng Lit...I think I :)>>> you.
Good for you! Way to go! This is the greenest thing you can do for the planet, your future , the future of everyone your age. I'm proud of you! It will get easier and people around you may continue the hassle, but soon they will see the light.
I especially know what you are going through, my family at first though we were crazy and I can tell you those holiday meals were a nightmare! But everyone has gotton used to the idea now and actually are coming around quite nicely. My daughter who is 8 went to stay with our Aunt-(some of you vegwebbers may remember my rant about the bacon in the salad with her and to her it was ok becouse it's just a little bit of meat) and she went out shopping and they got all the things my daughter can eat like soymilk, veggie dogs, cereal, etc. and I was so proud of both of them-my daughter for picking out healthy foods and my Aunt for taking her to get what she needs ;)b They came home yesterday and she brought the leftovers and I just gave her a big hug and thanked her. It was so good to see that my 8y.o. had picked out all the stuff I normally shop for-So you see Concrete jungle everything will work out-don't let all those people get you down!
thank you loulouj. i feel proud of myself and it's so nice to have others say that.
I will not let people get to me that way again - i think from now on i will just think of them as uninformed. That is so great about your daughter - i have wondered about raising children vegetarian or vegan and the challenges that come when children eat outside the home, when parents are not present, at school or at a friend's house, etc...
It's pretty simple, really kids just learn from thier parents and pretty soon it's "does that have high fructose corn syrup" or "does that have milk/cheese in it"? My daughter just watches me read the labels in the grocery store and if she wants something junky I read the label with her and if the first ingredient is high fructose corn syrup, we put it back on the shelf and play treasure hunt to find a healthier alternative. As far as going to a friends house I just let the parent know we are veg. and we don't eat eggs or milk and 9 times out of 10 it is not a problem, I will sent snacks and food with her. I pack her lunch for school of course. Again good luck you have made a very good decision to go veg!
people fear what they don't understand :o
I was out eating with my friends at a chinese restaurant today and they were talking about me being vegetarian. They would ask "Doesn't it suck having to check everything you eat for meat? THere's so much you can't eat!" And I had a full plate with a variety of foods! I haven't always been vegetarian, but I don't understand what's so hard to figure out. If it was as hard as the general public thinks it is, people wouldn't do it!
I've heard a lot of rumours about how it's friendlier to the enviroment or "it's better if the whole world was vegan because..." so if you guys know any reputable webpages that have it, let me know. I'd really like to be able to quote some of them but I don't want to commit myself to reading a novel, you know?
And does anyone know the biggest health risk to becoming vegetarian, because I honestly don't know. I haven't properly done my research
that type of stuff happened when i was little (became vegetarian when i was four years old). i don't deal with it anymore, but perhaps because it's such a big part of my identity that no one expects anything else from me. these people knew you as a non-vegetarian before, so perhaps that's why they are thrown off? sort of like when someone unexpectedly comes out of the gay closet and everyone is like, "whoa... but weren't you dating such and such for a long time? we thought you were straight! are you crazy?" sorta like that but you came out of a green closet! ;)
when i was a kid i had to defend my beliefs and diet a lot. not really to the other kids, surprisingly, but mostly to adults. they were so much more judgemental. the kids didn't care what i ate at all. especially the ones i traded my cafeteria meats for veggies with. it just meant they got two hamburgers! i think on pizza/hamburger fridays they loved vegetarians!
the best thing for you to do is to arm yourself with knowledge so that when you get cornered you can give them a good solid answer and back it with a lot of evidence. but don't try to tell them that they are "bad" people for not begin veg, because then they will just close their ears and minds and continue drilling you without even considering anything you tell them.
i think it is great that you are not out there to convert other people. i really respect you for respecting other people's freedom of choice. the way i stand is that i don't like it when people try to push their views on me (such as try to make me eat meat) so i won't do it to them... but if they've got questions i am available to answer them as fully, openly, honestly, and truthfully as i can.
and the Argentina thing... don't they think they have vegetables in Argentina? i mean, what do they think that steak ate before it was dinner?
one thing that people always tried to get me with was:
if you were trapped on a deserted island with no food except the local animals, would you eat them?
my answer is, duuuuuh, if there are animals, then there's vegetation! sheesh!
I was out eating with my friends at a chinese restaurant today and they were talking about me being vegetarian. They would ask "Doesn't it suck having to check everything you eat for meat? THere's so much you can't eat!" And I had a full plate with a variety of foods! I haven't always been vegetarian, but I don't understand what's so hard to figure out. If it was as hard as the general public thinks it is, people wouldn't do it!
blame it on ignorance. they haven't educated themselves and they've never experienced it, so they don't really know what they are talking about. maybe see if they are willing to try some of your foods? if they saw everything that you were able to eat (and how "normal" it is) they wouldn't think of it as so foreign?
people focus too much on what you "can't" eat instead of what you can. my diet became far more diverse when i went from vegetarian to vegan because it encouraged me to try new things. i had never had tofu, non dairy milks, carob, star fruit, kale, seitan (or really any type of veggie meat other than the hotdogs and burgers), flax, mangos, leeks, fennel, lentils, sushi (veg, of course), or (my favorite!) thai food until i became vegan, just to name a few. i feel that my diet is currently more diverse and exciting than it ever was before (and i was vegetarian... not that big of a jump). i am far more willing to try new things and to cook. most american families have between 5 and 10 meals that they alternate. that's really not that much diversity. all you'd have to do to fit in with the "norm" is get about ten tasty recipes that you have the ingredients for on hand and you're set!
regarding the comment on having to read labels: i've practically read every label of everything i've eaten for my whole life. i do not find it to be a bad thing at all. far from it. in fact, i think it's a positive that i actually know what i'm putting in my body. that's rare, for some reason. i dunno, but i think it's odd that people will put something into their mouths and consume it without even knowing what it is. besides, once you read a label you generally remember if it's veg or not. it's not like you have to read the ingredients of your cereal every morning when you pick up the same box over and over.
And does anyone know the biggest health risk to becoming vegetarian, because I honestly don't know. I haven't properly done my research
the biggest risk of ANY diet is not balancing it correctly. no matter what diet you have (meat eating, ovo/lacto vegetarian, vegan, etc) if you don't balance it, you're going to be in trouble. if someone only ate meat, their ketone levels would get so high that they would sweat this thick, stinky brown sweat (happened to my dad when he took atkins a little too far!). this is very dangerous. if all you eat is white rice, you can get a disease called beri beri, which is a vitamin b deficiency. another disease that happens when you don't balance things is scurvy, although as a vegetarian i'm pretty sure you're probably getting loads of vitamin c. technically fries, chips, and soda can be vegan, so if you're a vegan that lives off of those three things (as one of my friends did) then obviously that's not balanced either. iron is a big one for a lot of vegetarians who are just starting out on trying to balance things. everyone focuses on the protein (which i have never known of anyone, or even heard of an actual case, who had a protein deficiency because of their veg diet) and they throw all of the other essentials out the window. i was full of protein but quite severely iron deficient (anemia) because my mom's concern was protein so she just fed me lots of peanut butter and very few iron rich veggies. once i moved out of her house and into the house of my health conscious stepmother, that was no longer an issue.
you can get everything you need from plant sources. as long as you balance your diet, you should do well. an easy way is to make sure your plates are nice and colourful. orange foods usually have loads of beta-carateen (carrots, sweet potatoes), greens have lots of iron & calcium (spinach, kale, broccoli), you need about three ounces of protein (the size of a deck of cards, approx) at each meal, and try to go for whole grains instead of refined, processed ones (whole wheat, brown rice). whole grains have more fiber (soluable and insoluable) and usually the outer casing that they remove has important vitamins (white rice doesn't have the b vitamins brown rice has because of the removed outer casing). also, make sure to get healthy fats like avocados, nuts, & seeds. they have vitamin e which is good for your skin, hair, & nails. (it's best to try to get most of your fat from your protein sources) protein can be found in just about anything, but some good sources are beans, nuts, seeds, lentils, tofu, seitan, tempeh, & veggie meats. as far as protein goes, you only need around 50 grams for a 2000 calorie diet... one serving of a veggie meat can have as much as 20+ grams in one bang (check the label).
also, some things that may be difficult for veg*ns to get without special balancing are b vitamins, omega-3s, and amino acids. this can be solved by making a switch like braggs liquid aminos instead of soy sauce. flax (seeds & oil) and walnuts are great sources of omega-3s (i add ground flax to my cereal every morning & i use smart balance light w/ flax for my butter in my cooking). nutritional yeast flakes have loads of b vitamins.
but, like i said, the biggest risk of any diet is not doing it "right". (you may have known most of that nutritional information, but if you didn't then i hope you found it useful)
i don't have an answer for your other question (regarding info for why it's better for the environment) off of the top of my head.
anyone else notice that i always type novels? man, i wish i could get my point across without being so wordy!
oh yeah, and concrete jungle, good for you!
i like the shirt i saw online a few times that says something like, "donate blood and save one life, go veg and save 98 lives (a year)". see, what you're doing does mean something, and it's positive!
;)b
anyone else see that shirt? i want it. it has a picture of all 98 animals, meant to represent about how many chickens, fish, cows, pigs, etc an average (meat eating) person consumes each year.
It's pretty simple, really kids just learn from thier parents and pretty soon it's "does that have high fructose corn syrup" or "does that have milk/cheese in it"? My daughter just watches me read the labels in the grocery store and if she wants something junky I read the label with her and if the first ingredient is high fructose corn syrup, we put it back on the shelf and play treasure hunt to find a healthier alternative. As far as going to a friends house I just let the parent know we are veg. and we don't eat eggs or milk and 9 times out of 10 it is not a problem, I will sent snacks and food with her. I pack her lunch for school of course. Again good luck you have made a very good decision to go veg!
i applaud you. kids do learn from their familes and it has been proven that kids that eat healthy usually grow up to be adults who eat healthy. and it's great for her to read it with you... because when you read the one with HFCS and then put it back and find the one that doesn't have it, it shows her that she can still get the treats she wants while remaining on the healthy side! it shows her to be choosey (in a good way) and health conscious! good job!
;)b
people fear what they don't understand :o
Yes, one of my students asked me to explain the term "herd instinct" when applied to humans and I said, "If it's different--kill it." She thought for a moment, rolled her eyes and said, "Oh, yeah--like highschool."
Uh-huh. Exactly.
The one that gets me is when people think it's inoffensive to make you the exception.
"I just don't get people who are vegetarian, it's so stupid to limit yourself like that... not you, I mean you're really cool about it but personally I don't agree with it."
IF YOU INSULT VEGETARIANS YOU INSULT ME.
Seriously. It's a simple formula, people. Would you go up to a black guy and say, "I like you, but I hear all your people are drug dealers." No... at least, I hope not. ::)
That's a really good point. Have people ACTUALLY said that to you???
oh yeah, and concrete jungle, good for you!
i like the shirt i saw online a few times that says something like, "donate blood and save one life, go veg and save 98 lives (a year)". see, what you're doing does mean something, and it's positive!
;)b
anyone else see that shirt? i want it. it has a picture of all 98 animals, meant to represent about how many chickens, fish, cows, pigs, etc an average (meat eating) person consumes each year.
thank you! and i want that shirt !
The one that gets me is when people think it's inoffensive to make you the exception.
"I just don't get people who are vegetarian, it's so stupid to limit yourself like that... not you, I mean you're really cool about it but personally I don't agree with it."
IF YOU INSULT VEGETARIANS YOU INSULT ME.
Seriously. It's a simple formula, people. Would you go up to a black guy and say, "I like you, but I hear all your people are drug dealers." No... at least, I hope not. ::)
hahaha i've heard stuff like that before. hilarious.
I was out eating with my friends at a chinese restaurant today and they were talking about me being vegetarian. They would ask "Doesn't it suck having to check everything you eat for meat? THere's so much you can't eat!" And I had a full plate with a variety of foods! I haven't always been vegetarian, but I don't understand what's so hard to figure out. If it was as hard as the general public thinks it is, people wouldn't do it!
I've heard a lot of rumours about how it's friendlier to the enviroment or "it's better if the whole world was vegan because..." so if you guys know any reputable webpages that have it, let me know. I'd really like to be able to quote some of them but I don't want to commit myself to reading a novel, you know?
And does anyone know the biggest health risk to becoming vegetarian, because I honestly don't know. I haven't properly done my research
being vegan is better for the earth than buying a hybrid car and not taking a shower for a whole year. thats how much gas and water is saves. theres so much more, but thats all i have off the top of my head. i simply typed in veganism, environment into google and it came up with A LOT! of things http://www.google.com/search?q=veganism%2C+environment&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a
someone posted a video on here a while ago about veganism and the environment. http://vegweb.com/index.php?topic=23538.0 its really positive. i like it
That's a really good point. Have people ACTUALLY said that to you???
Yep! There's a real-life example for you. It sounds more and more stupid every time I hear it. I think it's basically people just don't really think about what they're saying, and then worrying that they'll offend.
Open mouth, insert foot, and chew vigorously! :-D
Open mouth, insert foot, and chew vigorously! :-D
Ja, next time you could ask them if they'd like a nice glass of soymilk to wash down their foot.
one of my friends did something similar the other day, but in regard to weight, not vegetarianism. I'm a valuptuous woman ;)
And she was talking about another friend of who had waited until two weeks before her (my friend's) wedding to by her bridesmaids dress. She was then like "and she's plus sized, i mean, It's not going to be easy to find a dress when you're that big on such short notice....no offense....to her or ....anyone..."
I wanted to punch her...unfortunately we were on the phone. ARG. I've never had someone doing that with the veggie thing though (yet)...
one of my friends did something similar the other day, but in regard to weight, not vegetarianism. I'm a valuptuous woman ;)
And she was talking about another friend of who had waited until two weeks before her (my friend's) wedding to by her bridesmaids dress. She was then like "and she's plus sized, i mean, It's not going to be easy to find a dress when you're that big on such short notice....no offense....to her or ....anyone..."
I wanted to punch her...unfortunately we were on the phone. ARG. I've never had someone doing that with the veggie thing though (yet)...
i always hated it when people would look at me and say, "you're vegan? aren't all vegans super skinny?" (i used to be a lot heavier, but i'm still not skinny... just more average)
this was in the middle of oklahoma. these people had literally NEVER MET A VEGAN BEFORE and most of them had known me for a while before bringing up that question. so, basically, i was the only living example the had to compare me to... which doesn't make sense for them to say that.
so, not only were they telling me (reminding me) that i was fat, but then they made it a point to make me feel like i was the ONLY FAT VEGAN IN THE WORLD! and they would make a really big deal about it. like suggest that maybe i had a thyroid problem or something.
sheesh.
:'(
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