Venting: negative reactions to becoming veg.
so about a month ago, before i committed to being vegetarian (i'm brand new :)), I was staying at a friend's family beach house. Her parents were cooking us dinner, and started asking everyone if they eat meat. I told them I was thinking about becoming vegetarian. They asked why - I said based on the factory farming issues in this country, that animals are being inhumanly raised and killed. (I didn't want to get into detail)
and they came down on me saying if you eat organic and know what you are eating that there is no reason to not eat meat (unless is for health reasons only.)
I knew my friend's mother's arguments were based on assumptions and basically, wrong. I did not continue the conversation- it was not appropriate. :-X
What upset me is that, I was not being judgmental of them, I feel the choice to become veg is a personal choice - It's not my business what other people put in their mouths - I focus on what I do.
but they felt the need to give argument to my reasons to become veg. It felt very judgemental - It upset me very much. :(
More recently, a work friend suggested i try a Argentinian steak house - after discussing visiting the country. I said I was not eating meat anymore. Her response was an unpleasant look on her face - followed by "well what are you going to eat when you to go to Argentina?" ???
the bottom line to these two stories is that, I have made a choice that I feel really good about, that is based on my values, is healthy...etc. Yet many people seem to look down on being vegetarian or vegan. Of those I talked to about it, I have yet to hear a "good for you".
I hope that with time that people's perceptions will grow to see that being vegetarian or vegan is a way of life to respect and maybe even look up to.
venting done.
Oh i forgot to add that another friend that was present in story number 1 - when i said i was thinking about being vegetarian - said "Lauren !!???" :o and looked at me like i had eight heads. Thanks Danielle, thank you for being such a sweat friend - you made me feel great. ;)
things like that happen way too often. i've been seeing big changes in the attitude towards meat lately, of course, not everyone has caught on, but more and more are. oprah jumping on the bandwagon, even for a short time, helped out, that huge beef recall based on the living conditions at the factory farm helped show people whats going on, morgan spurlock being out in public and having a show, i think helps, even though i've only seen that one episode with the hunter/peta family. i think seeing veggie burgers on menus at restaurants are showing how far the average populus is coming along when it comes to acceptance of veganism.
and then theres everyone else who doesnt care or is not paying attention, people who are stuck in customs and tradition. you know, of COURSE you have to try argentinian steak when you go to argentina... what ELSE are you going to eat??? haha. *sarcasm*
its such a bummer to make this AMAZING decision that will improve your life, your health, the environment and the lives of THOUSANDS of animals without doing much at all, i mean, its easy!! and then to hear criticizm about it? wtf. its not like you joined the army because you want to shoot someone. people take veganism way too personally. i think, deep down, these people are thinking that they know its healthy and that its something that they should do, but just cant for some reason or another. and the only way they take it out on other people is to bring them down for doing something that they could "never" do. but they can do it. and they'll figure it out. after they have a heart attack, or get diabetes, or heart disease, they'll start eating healthier too. you just wont have to go through all that crap because youre smart and dont get stuck in tradition and custom : ) so GO YOU! YOU ROCK!
That's going to happen. It's the trial by fire entry into the world of not eating meat. Most people eventually calm down, but there will always be someone who you only see occassionally who only wants to talk about your diet.
yes, and i think that when someone is cooking for you and they're told that you don't eat what they're cooking (and really, that you disagree with the way they eat) they probably feel threatened and feel the need to put up some kind of defense to justify their habits.
when i'm asked why i don't eat animal products, i usually say for animal rights reasons, and when pressed further i talk about factory farming and maybe the environment or health. afterwards i'm usually mad that i didn't go into more detail because i feel like i implied that if the animals were humanely treated, i'd eat them, which isn't true. but i just think that if i said anything like.. "well, i don't think it's right, necessary, or natural to eat animal products at all" that's inviting even more defensiveness and anger (which i think subtly makes people "anti" veg*n). i need to work on explaining myself better, as i think it's very important because even though it's not right, i might represent all of veg*nism to whomever is questioning me. but really this is something i might get into in a non-eating situation. ahh i digress...
but to you i say, keep up the good work and hang in there! it might feel lonely if you're the only vegetarian you know in "real" life, but i, like many of us, have found great support and camaraderie online. come and vent any time.
Dude, I SO FEEL your pain!!!!!! I had very negative reactions from people, including my family and some of my friends when I decided to go veg! I’ve actually made several posts with the long, detailed stories…. I honestly haven’t even told my mother yet because of how initially everyone reacted so negatively…. I figured I try and spread the negativity out so I could deal better…..
A lot of people on vegweb advised me that those in your life will turn around and become more accepting once they get use to the idea. I was skeptical of this advice at first, but it’s true! My husband was less than thrilled when I broke the news to him and now, a couple months later, he is eating tofu and other veg things with me at home!
The important part to remember (as you already mentioned) is to not judge omnis or ‘preach’ at them. I think that is the omnis biggest fear is the veg will judge them and tell them how evil they are for eating meat. I know at first my hubby was afraid I was going take his meat away from him or something lame like that. At the beginning there was period where I had to prove myself to him….. I’d offer to cook him meat and me tofu or when making the grocery list ask him what meat products he wanted and buy them for him (tofu for me). Stuff like that…. After awhile he saw I really wasn’t going to judge him and he was more open to my way eating.
The other thing I do is keep my explanations about my choice to be vegetarian short and sweet with omnis….unless on the off chance they are actually interested and want to know more.
Dude, I SO FEEL your pain!!!!!! I had very negative reactions from people, including my family and some of my friends when I decided to go veg! I’ve actually made several posts with the long, detailed stories…. I honestly haven’t even told my mother yet because of how initially everyone reacted so negatively…. I figured I try and spread the negativity out so I could deal better…..
A lot of people on vegweb advised me that those in your life will turn around and become more accepting once they get use to the idea. I was skeptical of this advice at first, but it’s true! My husband was less than thrilled when I broke the news to him and now, a couple months later, he is eating tofu and other veg things with me at home!
The important part to remember (as you already mentioned) is to not judge omnis or ‘preach’ at them. I think that is the omnis biggest fear is the veg will judge them and tell them how evil they are for eating meat. I know at first my hubby was afraid I was going take his meat away from him or something lame like that. At the beginning there was period where I had to prove myself to him….. I’d offer to cook him meat and me tofu or when making the grocery list ask him what meat products he wanted and buy them for him (tofu for me). Stuff like that…. After awhile he saw I really wasn’t going to judge him and he was more open to my way eating.
The other thing I do is keep my explanations about my choice to be vegetarian short and sweet with omnis….unless on the off chance they are actually interested and want to know more.
thats all really good advice! i totally agree. in addition, one thing that you did was showed him that this was not a phase. once you stick with it and they realize that you're enjoying it and not going to change, then there will be a little bit more respect. : )
Welcome to our world. It's part of your baptism of fire. Just remember, it's not about them, it's about you. But people hate change of any kind. They want you to be like them so they don't have to feel uncomfortable. A lot of people have issues with ANYone who is "different" from their particular norm. But just stick it out, you might find yourself saying, "My choices aren't about you" or something. But after a while they'll get used to it.
Our Bishop is borderline diabetic, has been for several years, and people STILL push cakes and desserts at him. It's a special visit, of COURSE they made desserts, and of course he should be polite and taste them! But they don't realise that for him, it's another stop on a country-wide tour and if he "tastes" desserts at every stop he'll soon be dead.
But then S. Spanish people are particularly insensitive.
Welcome to our world. It's part of your baptism of fire. Just remember, it's not about them, it's about you. But people hate change of any kind. They want you to be like them so they don't have to feel uncomfortable. A lot of people have issues with ANYone who is "different" from their particular norm. But just stick it out, you might find yourself saying, "My choices aren't about you" or something. But after a while they'll get used to it.
Our Bishop is borderline diabetic, has been for several years, and people STILL push cakes and desserts at him. It's a special visit, of COURSE they made desserts, and of course he should be polite and taste them! But they don't realise that for him, it's another stop on a country-wide tour and if he "tastes" desserts at every stop he'll soon be dead.
But then S. Spanish people are particularly insensitive.
That is exactly the reaction my friend had - the one that looked at me like i had eight heads - i think that she is totally uncomfortable with me being different than her. For the last 10 years she has been used to us being very similar; liking and doing many of the same things throught our friendship - eating the same foods for example.
But I don't think she has ever stopped to realize that we are adults now, we grow as people, our values deepen, we have new ideas and discover things we didn't see before...
If I am asked why I don't eat meat or anything else for that matter I simply say because I don't want to eat it. I don't think it is necessary and I have no desire to do so. Usually they just say "wow, I could never do that" and conversation over. This is particularly good for people that you know you could ever win with anyway...If it is someone that actually wants more information then by all means enlighten them ^-^
That's where I'm at. I actually prefer fruit and veg and grains to meat. It really is that simple. If I don't get my fruit in a day I don't feel right. In my meat-heaviest days, vegetables were what made me feel like I'd "really" eaten something.
Yeah my parents literally give me bags of vegetables and salads to eat. Then for dinner they'll make a side of green beans, but put bacon bits in it. Or for spaghetti I don't understand why they can't save a little sauce in the jar for me. I'm from a very unsupportive family. They're "concerned" about my nutrition but I think I eat better than my little brothers! They eat sugary cereal all day! Thankfully I'm in college and can make choices for myself. But it's always a hassle to find food when I home. They say I should eat meat because they buy "free range" stuff since we live in a farming town, but they just don't seem to get it. We all need to vent sometimes and I'm glad I'm not the only one going through it. If I don't grill people for eating meat, then why do they have to be so close-minded about the veg life? Because, most of the world is vegetarian.
poopin....i really like your name :P
poopin....i really like your name :P
ha ha... oh thanks. I've had it for like... 5 years. It means nothing, but it just sounds funny. Thanks though.
"If I don't grill people for eating meat"--I know it's a felicitous thing, but what a lovely phrase!! I've known omnis I'd LIKE to put on a grill....Michael Vick springs to mind...
i've never had a positive reaction to being vegan. or vegetarian, when i was. my entire family thinks it's a giant bother because they have to cook something different when i'm around. and none of my IRL friends are vegan except my bf. we're like a lone island of humanity in our town. i generally get nothing but shit for it. my mom is opening up more, especially since i lent her 'skinny bitch', and she now enjoys cooking for/with me. but before it was like this GIANT hassle of me telling her what i couldn't eat EVERY TIME i went home. i mean, how hard it is to remember: no animal products. geez.
my sister asked me if I could eat nuts! ;D :hrmm:
Good for you! Way to go! This is the greenest thing you can do for the planet, your future , the future of everyone your age. Im proud of you! It will get easier and people around you may continue the hassle, but soon they will see the light.
I especially know what you are going through, my family at first though we were crazy and I can tell you those holiday meals were a nightmare! But everyone has gotton used to the idea now and actually are coming around quite nicely. My daughter who is 8 went to stay with our Aunt-(some of you vegwebbers may remember my rant about the bacon in the salad with her and to her it was ok becouse it's just a little bit of meat) and she went out shopping and they got all the things my daughter can eat like soymilk, veggie dogs, cereal, etc. and I was so proud of both of them-my daughter for picking out healthy foods and my Aunt for taking her to get what she needs ;)b They came home yesterday and she brought the leftovers and I just gave her a big hug and thanked her. It was so good to see that my 8y.o. had picked out all the stuff I normally shop for-So you see Concrete jungle everything will work out-don't let all those people get you down!
This is my.....5th time trying to go veggie. Everytime I got kinda sick, and everyone including my doctors, were like, well then you have to eat meat again! So I mean, trusting my doctors, I mean, they went to MED SCHOOL, I did, and the problems cleared up.....except I fealt guilty. I even got to a point of apologizing to my sammiches before I ate them :-\
Anyways, I got really negative reactions and feedback every time I've gone veggie. Everytime something happened it was "bacause I didn't eat meat" . In reality it was because I wasn't increasing my water intake to balance the extra fiber, eating vitamin C with my iron, not getting enough fruit, etc.
So after tons o research my hubby and I are trying again.. Been 2 weeks and we feel great. =-) THe funny thing is, everyone I know, has already had the negative reactions, so now they're just like "whatever" in a way that's like... bet you'll quit... except I won't >:D I've done my research this time MWUHAHAHAHA.
So stick to your guns! People are a lazy bunch. They'll eventually get tired of arguing with you .
Some people seem to take a weird level of personal offense to you not eating the same things they do.
my sister asked me if I could eat nuts! ;D :hrmm:
Well, they are grouped with meat on the food pyramid. ;) :D
mayhaps they like making us feel bad so that they feel better about doing something you know is wrong.... like... when you're trying to cut back on sugar, and someone keeps trying really hard to get you to have an ice cream cone with them.... they know they should probably lay off the sugar too, but they don't want to feel guilty, so they try to get you to eat some. That way you feel guilty and they don't.....
Wow....I think I confused myself..... :o
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