why does pms have to make me hate my life?
so i'm sad. for a stupid reason. i got the opportunity to work just in the morning tomorrow and was super psyched because the weather's gonna be beautiful and michael doesn't have to work in the evening and i'd have basically the whole day to do whatever.
but then the other woman who works here that i'd be splitting the day with asked me my preference, morning or afternoon, and when i told her, she said she wanted to get to walmart to buy contact lenses and could only get in in the afternoon. so i was like, well of course, i'll work the afternoon for you, i don't have a schedule or anything. i mean obviously, i have no right to stake claim to having the afternoon off if she actually has something valid to do.
but then the more i'm thinking about it, the sadder i get because i know that i'll just be by myself at the apartment in the morning, dreading going to work all morning instead of enjoying my day like i would in the afternoon. michael will be in class and at work until 2, i have no friends, and i'll probably not be able to sleep in since i'm so used to getting up early now. i can just see myself. sitting on the couch. dreading getting dressed. chainsmoking. pissed at the world for having to work that afternoon. ugh.
and then i start to think to myself, 'self. why are you feeling this way? you still only work a half day either way, shitty as it is to work in the afternoon instead and ruin your whole day in the process. so why the long face?' oh right, then i remembered i'm pmsing and i almost started to CRY! at work! god, what is WRONG with me? i'm almost crying NOW. i really really really do not want to work in the afternoon tomorrow, i'm one of those assholes that when i get my hopes up and then it gets taken away i get SEVERELY disappointed, like to the point of mopey-ness that is incurable. i can't ask her to work the afternoon now, can i? she never did say she would work the morning for sure. maybe she'll change her mind.
why is this bugging me so much?
Here's what I'd do, if I had tomorrow morning alone:
1) stay in bed for 20 minutes just to wiggle my toes
2) take and ENJOY an extra long shower w/o having to worry about anyone needing the toilet.
3) go to the local coffee shop for a nice breakfast/make myself a nice breakfast and cup of tea/coffee just the way I like it
4) if I feel like it, go to the gym or catch a matinee at the movies or read a book with a cat on the lap
yes, i was thinking almost ALL those things to myself after i finished ranting.
anyway, it's all a moot point because she has to work all day because one of the bosses gave her a ginormous list of crap to do. so i guess i'm working in the morning after all. i feel like an asshole now, and i feel bad for her. sorry for coming off like a jerk.
my moodswings are getting uncontrollable today. i felt like taking a swipe at the man who cleans our office a few minutes ago for blaming me for putting ice in the trash. which i didn't do. and he didn't ask anyone else if they did it either. just assumed it would be me. i felt like i was going to pass out from anger.
still a little pissed about that one, actually. eh, life. ::)
haha i get like that too, like, if i cant get a dish totally clean, i'll just break down and cry, or if michael says something sarcastic, thats it. oh my goodness. pms is awful. haha. but its normal, you know, no need to feel bad about being sad! especially around that time of the month, its out of your control (to a certain extent).
Gees... I feel like I am that way all the time, PMS or no PMS! I totally sympathize with you. When I am expecting something to happen and then it doesn't, it is very unsettling to me, even really little things.
I used to think I didn't PMS until recently. I totally understand how you feel. I remember crying at work because a coworker criticized me, but she wasn't even mean. She was just criticizing my work, not me, but still, tears were falling and I was trying to hide it by saying that it was allergies. Pathetic, but like hiimkelsi said, it's out of our control.
yeah it's still in full swing.
i just hand delivered a document to a place that i always take stuff to, and i always take it to the 2nd floor. well some lady at the reception desk there looked and spoke to me like a moron because 'these people aren't even ON this floor.' and rather rudely told me to go downstairs and take it somewhere else.
and i ended up getting SUPER pissed. see, i don't get sad so much with my PMS, i just get angry. like irrationaly, terribly, incurably angry. it's like all the time that i hold back normally just adds up and i go nuts. oh well. period starts tuesday, so i have a whole weekend of this to look forward to. oh, and my boobs are giant again. and they hurt. awesome!
yeah, i would probably just vegweb the whole time.
aw your pms continues while you bleed? mine stops the day i start bleeding. michaels always so relieved. haha.