Fostering--very NVR
Posted by pranabelly on Jan 13, 2008 · Member since Mar 2007 · 110 posts
Has anyone here ever fostered a child or been a foster child?
I am doing some research and looking into becoming a foster parent in Virginia. I will probably end up with an older child or children, since I would be a single working parent. Has anyone had any experience in that regard? I am very curious to hear about other people's experiences, especially from the child's perspective.
Sorry...have neither been one nor the other. Just wanted to say good luck!
Yeah. Good luck.
I know as a child I would have loved to been adopted out of my hostage situation. And thanks to good people like you, other children can still have that hope!
Along with mirrya1 and humboldt_honey, I would like to offer my encouragement! :w00t!:
P.s. I'd be interested to read some of the things you might discover in your research if you would like to share(!)
i used to work at the local department of social services and did some respite care for foster children. i never fostered one, though. they seemed like great kids (though the ones i worked with were often drug affected/abused due to that being the area that my boss worked in), always a little 'tougher' (for instance, i often did respite care in groups and many of the kids would easily get overstimulated), but all in all a very rewarding experience working with them.
with an older child (i mainly worked with younger), do you plan on doing a kind of fost/adopt program? i think with older kids it probably depends on the amount of time they spent living with their parents. if they spent a long amount of time, no matter how bad the situation, they are generally not going to be very happy to be taken away, but if they have been in the foster system for a while they might be sick of it, or very happy about having a loving home to stay in ???.
all in all, i think it is NOT EASY, very hard for so many reasons (like kid not being compliant ever, you liking the kid and them having to go, etc.)... but very rewarding as well.
My husband and I are foster parents in NY. We were required to complete a GPS course held by our county's DSS. We were also homestudied, had physicals and a home inspection. It is likely you may have to do some, if not all of those things.
We haven't had any placements yet, this in part because we specifically asked to be placed with children who will likely be freed for adoption. But several friends we met through GPS have/ had placements with mixed experiences. Overall, they all seem happy with their decision.
My goal is adoption. In VA, I will have to go through weeks of orientation and a home study, and submit several letters of recommendation.
To ease myself into things, I decided to look into fostering. There are no objections on the govt end to me being a single working parent, but I wonder about it myself. I wonder how old the child will be, what sex it will be, how able they will be to love someone new. I wonder about their possible history, and I fantasize about having a family.
I guess I just want to run every possible scenario through my mind.
Will you being a veg*n affect anything. I know that it is rummered that vegans arn't as "healthy" and maybe the adoption agency my see it this way. Maybe it doesn't matter.
I don't plan on mentioning it ;)
I was vegetarian when our homestudy was done. We talked about it during the home study visit but our worker did not put in the actual study.
During our homestudy we were asked several questions about the type of child we wanted. We said we didn't care (because we don't) but you can be very specific if you choose-even for fostering. During our GPS class they had some older children in foster care and some who had been adopted come in and speak. Even though I'm a social worker myself, my heart was torn apart by what the "system" can be like for a child.
I have visited some web sites and chat areas set up for foster kids. The things these kids talk about are very sad and I know that a lot of them have experienced things I will never understand. But many of them have hope and are ready for a family. Another issue is that I would only be able to have one child right now, and a lot of foster kids express the need/want for a BIG family, or they just want a mom *and* a dad. So, another challenge will be to find a child that will want just me (and my pup) for now.
I think it will take some time, but I can wait. I have nothing to lose.
I have visited some web sites and chat areas set up for foster kids. The things these kids talk about are very sad and I know that a lot of them have experienced things I will never understand. But many of them have hope and are ready for a family. Another issue is that I would only be able to have one child right now, and a lot of foster kids express the need/want for a BIG family, or they just want a mom *and* a dad. So, another challenge will be to find a child that will want just me (and my pup) for now.
I think it will take some time, but I can wait. I have nothing to lose.
I just want to say that what you're doing is awesome, you have some excellent karma coming your way. Although they may have been through things you could never understand, I'm sure that they will realize the kindness and selflessness of what you're offering to them. Good luck!