I have some questions for mothers.
As you know I am trying to decided to either get an abortion or have the child.
I am totally up in the air about this, terrified of the consequences either way. (I am shaking again, totally stressed out about it)
When I have the baby I will only have two weeks of paid maternaty leave, and I will be a single parent so the baby is going to have to be taken care of at only two weeks of age by somebody. Do child care centers take care of babies that age? How do I find somebody to take care of the baby when it is only a tiny newborn while I go to work?
Also, after the baby is born I will be trying like holy hell to find a job close to my mom or the father of the child. My mom offered to take the baby and care for it for the first few months until I get on my feet. Is that a good idea? That means that I won't be able to nurse it more than just a few days or a couple of weeks. Is this a problem?
I hope you can tell that everyone here will support your decision, no matter what you ultimately choose. I'm really not trying to sway you in any direction--I just wanted to add in my opinion, since I was really confused as to what suddenly made you decide to continue with the pregnancy after wanting so badly to abort.
i too am confused...as you stated earlier that you did "not WANT a baby".....and have stated that you could not afford it...etc.
let me ask...I know you've brought it up...i know it's YOUR body...but what does the "father" say now?... b/c it's BOTH of your "problem" to deal with... i hope he is "dealing" with this as well...as he too made this "thing" happen....it always takes 2...
all I can say....and I'll fucking throw this shit right out here....when i was in HS....in 12th grade....my GF at the time got pregnant....we BOTH decided that it would be a "horrible" time for us to bring a baby into the world...that would one day be an adult....but that neither of us was prepared to care for. We both had dreams and desires...yes...we had sex....yes...we had to "Deal" with it....but i'm glad she brought me into the decision...as it was "both" of ours to make...
I know this...my "career" and life as i know it would have been very very very "different" had we not "both" came to the conclusion that aborting the baby was the best thing for it. It's NOT selfish...it's HONEST...as neither one of us "wanted" a child...just as you yourself stated earlier....you said it with your very own words.... i know it's a tough call...but if you don't WANT a child...don't have one...
and for those that say "adopt" it out.....how about all those in foster care...that have no homes.... I so fucking LOVE everyone that says "have the baby and adopt it out"...because there are "thousands" of people that want to "adopt"....if there are truly THOUSANDS that want to adopt...then WHY THE FUCK ARE THERE STILL THOUSANDS of children still in foster care here in the US???!!! There are "millions" of kids world wide that need parents...why fucking "add" to it??!!
Anyone that wants to adopt can do so if they are qualified....my own brother did.... the last thing this world needs is more kids waiting for "adoptive parents"...as there are thousands here in the US alone that have no home...why add to the problem? I want to add...that it's "ironic" that most of those that adopt in the US are Liberals....it's a fact...look it up...yet those that are AGAINST abortion..do the least when it comes to actually adopting children.....as i said...look it up.
I'm SURE i'm not the ONLY one here that can admit as to myself or another partner going through the abortion thing....i myself...know...and sleep very very well at night just knowing that when i was was a teenaged idiot...i did the RIGHT thing along with my GF at the time... I know in my heart we did. I have no regrets... in fact...my life would have been "ruined" if we had not gone down that very path....
-d
there are so many chldren in foster care becaue they, for the most part, are the ones removed from homes due to abuse and neglect. often these children have a lot of issues that cause them to act out violently or required intensive counseling. it's hard to place those kids--i know, i worked with them in georgia. in open adoptions, you know the couple from any point in your pregnancy on. there is an exponentially higer rate of new homes for babies in this route. the over-run foster care system referes to children removed becaue of abuse/neglect, not opne adoptions.
there are so many chldren in foster care becaue they, for the most part, are the ones removed from homes due to abuse and neglect. often these children have a lot of issues that cause them to act out violently or required intensive counseling. it's hard to place those kids--i know, i worked with them in georgia. in open adoptions, you know the couple from any point in your pregnancy on. there is an exponentially higer rate of new homes for babies in this route. the over-run foster care system referes to children removed becaue of abuse/neglect, not opne adoptions.
I think we're all aware that many kids in foster care are there because they are not white, are older, have health problems, developmental disabilities, or serious emotional/behavioral problems. The thing is, though... they are children. They still deserve a loving family to nurture them and be there to help them grow. When you become a parent, there are so many things that can happen... you are not guaranteed a healthy, happy, beautiful baby. I think that DD's post really was pointing a finger at adoptive couples that would only consider adopting the *perfect* baby, rather than making a difference for a child with fewer chances at a family.
there are so many chldren in foster care becaue they, for the most part, are the ones removed from homes due to abuse and neglect. often these children have a lot of issues that cause them to act out violently or required intensive counseling. it's hard to place those kids--i know, i worked with them in georgia. in open adoptions, you know the couple from any point in your pregnancy on. there is an exponentially higer rate of new homes for babies in this route. the over-run foster care system referes to children removed becaue of abuse/neglect, not opne adoptions.
I think we're all aware that many kids in foster care are there because they are not white, are older, have health problems, developmental disabilities, or serious emotional/behavioral problems. The thing is, though... they are children. They still deserve a loving family to nurture them and be there to help them grow. When you become a parent, there are so many things that can happen... you are not guaranteed a healthy, happy, beautiful baby. I think that DD's post really was pointing a finger at adoptive couples that would only consider adopting the *perfect* baby, rather than making a difference for a child with fewer chances at a family.
i understand this, but, couples adopting these children with problems, often don't realize the scope of the problems, because the whole truth isn't really let out (conviently enough...) there's "levels" of these children:
level 1: "minor" issues--cries a lot, is psycological-induced catatonic...defiant---real defiant...
level 2: gets in a lot of fights, curses, tries to skip school, may steal, habitual lies; threatens
level3: violent, sexually abusive to others around (won't place in mixed sex households...); commited previous violent acts
now, foster families "make money" off of placed kids...the higher the level...the more money...level 1 is like 100 a day.... level 2 is like 150 a day...level 3 is like 200 a day....
so, now you get dishonest families that are in the news about "foster parents abuse kids in custody...kids found starved...." the system is overrun, so check ups don't happen liek they should, and more low level kids are "crammed" into houses to make use of a scarce resource..thus, scary foster parents stories in the news..
one of my students, a level 3, was places...the wool pulled over the potential adoptive parents eyes....they woke up to their biological daughter screaming, finding the boy on top of her with a knife in her face...he was 7! she was 5.....
they started the process to relinquish custody (this was the final in a series of jumping off the table onto them...throwing hot grease from the stove across the room events...)
some people do want to adopt these "hard to place" kids, but, most the time, they aren't prepared and aren't told the whole truth about the situation. the system can't help these kids when it can't be truthful.
I got pregnant when I was 18. I lived with my parents until I was 23. I still have only a high school education. I'm below the poverty line. I get no child support from the father. My parents help out a lot. Although I'm trying to go back college now. I love my son sooo much. But I'm stressed!
The commercial daycares I've seen will take children at 6 weeks. It may be different in different places. Nursing for a couple of weeks is better than not at all. And you can still pump. Children can be perfectly healthy without breastmilk. (my mom was feed goat's milk) Breastfeeding hurt me and my nipples bled. I think I did it for for like 2 weeks.
Only you can make the choice. I love my son, but it is a hard life being a single mom. But I think you have a good job so maybe it would be easier. I don't have "a life". I've dated only a little in 5 years. It is lonely. I don't mean to sound depressing. There are good times. Like watching your child learn new things.
There is a saying, "The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world". Being a mother is a very important job.
The best is watching children grow. I have an 8-yr-old son and a 4-yr-old daughter. Not much money either, but at least Mama gets to stay home with them (we home-school, she used to be a teacher). Have you been to the Hare Krishna temple? It's outside Hillsborough, NC, just off the freeway, not too far from you. I'm not really religious, but they serve dinner around 6:30 every Sunday evening and are happy to see new faces, I can only make it every other week due to work schedule but it's wonderful veggie food and lots of kids & contacts.
so if Im pro abortion does that make me pro chicken egg?
For me, chicken egg=factory farm cruelty to hens laying the eggs and gross to eat, but not OMG I'm killing a potential chicken. But, then, I have no problem with people who care for chickens (like VHZ) and use their eggs or give them away.
Although I have no problem with that eatery (compared to the alternative) I have to say, that i have decided not to eat my hens eggs and stopped giving them away...just to classify ::)
so if Im pro abortion does that make me pro chicken egg?
For me, chicken egg=factory farm cruelty to hens laying the eggs and gross to eat, but not OMG I'm killing a potential chicken. But, then, I have no problem with people who care for chickens (like VHZ) and use their eggs or give them away.
Although I have no problem with that eatery (compared to the alternative) I have to say, that i have decided not to eat my hens eggs and stopped giving them away...just to classify ::)
Ooops, sorry Zealia! Didn't mean to put you on the spot :-[ Hope your chickens are doing well!
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