ANNOYING conversations!
So my dad and I had 'THE' vegetarian talk tonight... I had already already told him I'd made the desicion to be vegetarian but we had never really talked about it.
Conversation:
dad: well, you still eat fish, right?
me: no, don't eat fish.
dad: WHAT! fish isn't an animal! fish are stupid, they have a pea for a brain! how can you not eat fish?!
me: um....as fore mentioned...vegetarian.
dad: well fish is good for you, you should still eat fish....where do you get your omegas...blah blah blah
dad: well, you're getting enough vitamins arn't you. how will you stay healthy. i'm concerned for your health....
I love my dad. He is honeslty one of my most favorite people on the planet :)>>> But if conversations like this become frequent... I'm going to go crazy :-\
That's it, Heliamphora--people feel threatened by our choices. I have spent weeks trying to come up with a decent yet cogent way to say in Spanish: "My life is not all about you." We do have a saying in Spanish: "If your mouth burns, you must have been eating garlic." Which means, if you feel threatened or angry about something--you're the one with the issues. I think a lot of people react with hostility to things that they just don't want to deal with, because it might require them to change their way of living or at least engage brain before activating mouth. And a LOT of people don't want to do that.
That's it, Heliamphora--people feel threatened by our choices. I have spent weeks trying to come up with a decent yet cogent way to say in Spanish: "My life is not all about you." We do have a saying in Spanish: "If your mouth burns, you must have been eating garlic." Which means, if you feel threatened or angry about something--you're the one with the issues. I think a lot of people react with hostility to things that they just don't want to deal with, because it might require them to change their way of living or at least engage brain before activating mouth. And a LOT of people don't want to do that.
Hell YEAH. It's continually amazing how intrusive people's opinions can be when you've let slip some of your views. If it's someone you respect or want to get to know, then, cool! But, near-strangers? who are fixed in their ideas? How could what they think/feel affect MY chosen path? *scratches head* If only I were the sort of person who could SAY things like..... "What you think doesn't matter to me." or, "I do not know you... you do not know me... don't judge me. I don't judge you. (At least not out loud! LOL)" These things could be so useful at times.
ME: I have a headache
MUM: Its because you don't eat meat!
ME: God I feel tired today
MUM: Its because you don't eat meat!
ME: Ah, I have a pimple
MUM: Its because you don't eat meat!
ME: Ouch I stubbed my toe
MUM: Its because you don't eat meat!
ME: I have not had a cold or flu for over a year, I can eat without guilt, I maintain a healthy weight, I have a reduced risk of bowel cancer and I feel good about myself
ME: Its because I don't eat meat!
ME: I have a headache
MUM: Its because you don't eat meat!
ME: God I feel tired today
MUM: Its because you don't eat meat!
ME: Ah, I have a pimple
MUM: Its because you don't eat meat!
ME: Ouch I stubbed my toe
MUM: Its because you don't eat meat!
ME: I have not had a cold or flu for over a year, I can eat without guilt, I maintain a healthy weight, I have a reduced risk of bowel cancer and I feel good about myself
ME: Its because I don't eat meat!
That totally sounds like my dad's logic! ::)
That's it, Heliamphora--people feel threatened by our choices. I have spent weeks trying to come up with a decent yet cogent way to say in Spanish: "My life is not all about you." We do have a saying in Spanish: "If your mouth burns, you must have been eating garlic." Which means, if you feel threatened or angry about something--you're the one with the issues. I think a lot of people react with hostility to things that they just don't want to deal with, because it might require them to change their way of living or at least engage brain before activating mouth. And a LOT of people don't want to do that.
i was just thinking about this this morning... how it seems as if meat eaters either have a guilty conscience (i.e. they don't want to hear about how gross/bad/immoral eating meat is and/or try to make you feel bad in return) or they just don't give a shit about animals/the environment/their health. i can't decide which is worse... the ones who just don't care (pretty bad), or the ones who secretly care, but are so self-absorbed that they refuse to make the change in their lives that they know is right!
frustrating.
I wish Arte would run some more "this is the way meat animals are raised" docs. They started to make my DH think a year or so ago. He won't read a book or let me show him a DVD...it has to be something where I say, "Hey, that sounds interesting, record that, huh?" The one on raising pigs he recorded for me "because it's about animals."
I wish Arte would run some more "this is the way meat animals are raised" docs. They started to make my DH think a year or so ago. He won't read a book or let me show him a DVD...it has to be something where I say, "Hey, that sounds interesting, record that, huh?" The one on raising pigs he recorded for me "because it's about animals."
I think I might be getting to my hubby too.... he won't let me cook him meat anymore and eats veg with me at home....
He also made some comment about wanting to eat 'healthier' lately... not so many animal products, saturated fat, more veggies, yada yada....
Oh, I feel for you! I've been a vegetarian for 8 years now and I still have to tell my mother that no, I'm not going to get sick if I don't eat meat. I've never been healthier, but she seems to think I'm going to lose weight (I've gained it) and I'll be completely out of balance.
Tell Dad it's simply a lifestyle choice and you'd appreciate his trying to understand it a bit better. My daughter goes through this with her meat-eating father. He'll still make her ribs and steak knowing full well she won't eat it. Oh brother! :-\
So I've been veg for maybe a year, but rarely ate meat before that. It was a slow transistion. Anyhow. Most people I know have been REALLY supportive & cool about it. Sat. night I was at a party where the hostess provided veggie burgers & some good pasta salad, some of the appitizers were guac & hummus, so I had a really decent meal. I brought lots of cupcakes everyone loved. Things were going great. I even had a conversation with a couple who asked me about my reasons for not eating meat or dairy & they seemed geniunely interested.
Then I was talking to my friend's dad who is an avid meat eater & generally teases me once in a while. He asked if I had been running lately & I said not really since last weekend, I got really sick mon-tuesday, blah blah blah & I'm still not feeling 100%.... He say's, "What you need is a big juicy rare steak, that will fix you right up! hahaha" I just kindof laughed & said something like, eww I don't even think I could eat it if I had to.
I know the real reason I got sick is because I was overtraining & then had a really hectic weekend with limited sleep, lots of activity & eating unhealthy foods, but it still kindof put a damper on things. I know I shouldn't have let it get to me. but it does.
I think I'm just going to have to accept I will be the butt of jokes at family get togethers....which is SO lame and unfortunate >:( We BBQ'd at my dad's yesterday and while they've seemingly accepted the veg the thing, now I'm just the butt of all jokes. They pretty well get a wise crack in anywhere they can. They would change the subject entirly just to get in a good wise crack! I'm really beginning to hate people, including my family....
I think I'm just going to have to accept I will be the butt of jokes at family get togethers....which is SO lame and unfortunate >:( We BBQ'd at my dad's yesterday and while they've seemingly accepted the veg the thing, now I'm just the butt of all jokes. They pretty well get a wise crack in anywhere they can. They would change the subject entirly just to get in a good wise crack! I'm really beginning to hate people, including my family....
I don't know if you've tried this...but my advice would be this: Wait until you've calmed/cooled off a bit..and you are not feeling overly emotional/on-edge. You want to be able to stay calm, focused, logical, and not offensive. Tell them (whomever you would like to talk to) that you want to be able to sit down and talk with them a bit, when they have time. Don't approach it thinking it's going to be an argument..but just a time where you can calmly explain your reasons for being veg*n, why you have chosen this path, how important it is to you, and how it makes you feel when they tease you. I truly hope that if you really told them how you feel (it really hurts your feelings, makes you very upset, makes it extremely hard on you, etc.), they will show their love and care for you, and take a step towards understanding.
I think a lot of time, people just don't understand that something they say (and mean as a joke) can really affect another person. It might even seem like they won't listen to you/won't understand, but if they really know how you feel...I hope they will decide it's not in anyone's best interest to tease you as they do.
:)
My mom still doesn't get it! she took us out to lunch and then asked me and the kids if we'd like to share a Chinese chicken salad. Ii told her, "No, Mom, we don't eat chicken anymore. We're vegetarian remember?" She proceeded to pout and grumble that the salad was really good , but too big for her to eat and was getting kind of irritated. I told her to get the small one and she continued to complain. My hubby, bless his heart, he's not a veg and also not a salad eater, saved the day and shared the salad with her. And get this...when it came, she complained about the dressing, picked out all the bell peppers, and only ate a few bites! ???
So I've been veg for maybe a year, but rarely ate meat before that. It was a slow transistion. Anyhow. Most people I know have been REALLY supportive & cool about it. Sat. night I was at a party where the hostess provided veggie burgers & some good pasta salad, some of the appitizers were guac & hummus, so I had a really decent meal. I brought lots of cupcakes everyone loved. Things were going great. I even had a conversation with a couple who asked me about my reasons for not eating meat or dairy & they seemed geniunely interested.
Then I was talking to my friend's dad who is an avid meat eater & generally teases me once in a while. He asked if I had been running lately & I said not really since last weekend, I got really sick mon-tuesday, blah blah blah & I'm still not feeling 100%.... He say's, "What you need is a big juicy rare steak, that will fix you right up! hahaha" I just kindof laughed & said something like, eww I don't even think I could eat it if I had to.
I know the real reason I got sick is because I was overtraining & then had a really hectic weekend with limited sleep, lots of activity & eating unhealthy foods, but it still kindof put a damper on things. I know I shouldn't have let it get to me. but it does.
The only problem with that is vegans/vegetarians hear those jokes ALL THE TIME. Not a single occasion goes by where I'm hanging around with a bunch of omnis and I don't hear at least three jabs like that one. I went along with it at first, but it gets really damn old after a while. Watching an omni tease me by eating a sausage and elaborating on how good it is was funny the first two times it happened. Like all jokes, however, it gets old REALLY fast.
I'm so glad this thread is here so I could vent.
poohbear, here is something that makes them feel really stupid...
if they say...oooohhh, look at this juicy steak or something like that, I say "wow, that that is so unoriginal and lame...I know you can come up with something better than that" it usually shuts them up cause they feel stupid!
So I've been veg for maybe a year, but rarely ate meat before that. It was a slow transistion. Anyhow. Most people I know have been REALLY supportive & cool about it. Sat. night I was at a party where the hostess provided veggie burgers & some good pasta salad, some of the appitizers were guac & hummus, so I had a really decent meal. I brought lots of cupcakes everyone loved. Things were going great. I even had a conversation with a couple who asked me about my reasons for not eating meat or dairy & they seemed geniunely interested.
Then I was talking to my friend's dad who is an avid meat eater & generally teases me once in a while. He asked if I had been running lately & I said not really since last weekend, I got really sick mon-tuesday, blah blah blah & I'm still not feeling 100%.... He say's, "What you need is a big juicy rare steak, that will fix you right up! hahaha" I just kindof laughed & said something like, eww I don't even think I could eat it if I had to.
I know the real reason I got sick is because I was overtraining & then had a really hectic weekend with limited sleep, lots of activity & eating unhealthy foods, but it still kindof put a damper on things. I know I shouldn't have let it get to me. but it does.
The only problem with that is vegans/vegetarians hear those jokes ALL THE TIME. Not a single occasion goes by where I'm hanging around with a bunch of omnis and I don't hear at least three jabs like that one. I went along with it at first, but it gets really damn old after a while. Watching an omni tease me by eating a sausage and elaborating on how good it is was funny the first two times it happened. Like all jokes, however, it gets old REALLY fast.
I'm so glad this thread is here so I could vent.
DB so true! The teasing is so frequent it just gets old! You nailed it on the head. Because it's not like any one joke or tease I get is that bad, it's the fact it happens ALL-THE-TIME! My shit gauge is overflowing with the lame ass teasing and picking!
poohbear, here is something that makes them feel really stupid...
if they say...oooohhh, look at this juicy steak or something like that, I say "wow, that that is so unoriginal and lame...I know you can come up with something better than that" it usually shuts them up cause they feel stupid!
Totally LB, I mean how f*cking original in general is it to pick on a veg....hmmm....
I was kind of doing that at my dads....saying things like..."okay, bring it retards. i'm just sitting here while you all are participating in 'the pick on Shauna show'. Come up with something new to do and original"
Do the "adolescent shrug", roll your eyes, and say in a bored tone: "Yeah, like I've never heard THAT one before..." and sigh.
Do the "adolescent shrug", roll your eyes, and say in a bored tone: "Yeah, like I've never heard THAT one before..." and sigh.
I'll add a yawn and a "booorrrring" at the end of that ;)
i got reminded of a really good one - existence of vegan creamer aside:
some dude in the hallway when i lived in the dorms: do you put a lot of creamer in yr coffee?
me: no... i'm vegan.
some dude: CREAMER HAS VEGAN IN IT?!?!?!?
i got reminded of a really good one - existence of vegan creamer aside:
some dude in the hallway when i lived in the dorms: do you put a lot of creamer in yr coffee?
me: no... i'm vegan.
some dude: CREAMER HAS VEGAN IN IT?!?!?!?
Wow, was he dropped on his head as a small child?! I mean DUH!
Pages