Do you have friends of other races?
Posted by ledzepfan12 on Nov 27, 2008 · Member since Jan 2007 · 675 posts
I was reading an old copy of Glamour yesterday and it really made me think. It was a panel of women talking about their experiences with friendships, trying to fit iin and views about people of other races.
I do, but I wouldn't neccisarily call her a friend. We haven't spoken in months and only see each other when we bump in to each other in town. We used to be a lot closer, but its not like there are hard feelings or anything.
I don't think the color of the person should matter at all in finding friends, but I think its foolish of people to say "I'm color blind". Everyone sees color because everyone is a color.
So, what about you?
very interesting topic.
I have tons to say about this...I'll start with this disclaimer:
**I use terms like "black" and "white" and "Mexican" and "Asian" when appropriate. I use them as simple labels, not qualitative or derogatory statements. I will occasionally also use words like "nigger" when describing the words' use by others, in the appropriate context.**
I grew up in a podunk Iowa town of less than 2,000 people, literally about 99% of them white. I grew up next door to a girl who was adopted from Korea, and my two practically-siblings-family-friends were also adopted from Korea (their mom is my "aunt" Cindi I've been talking about recently).....it was interesting because We learned at a very young age that We were different in certain ways, but it was never a problem, of course. it was just an interesting dynamic since they were a very small minority in town.
the first black person I recall actually knowing in person was a girl who moved to my school in 3rd grade. We were pretty damn good friends all the way up until We graduated high school. I had my issues with her here and there, which were not a direct result of her race, but of the way she perceived her minority status in our school...it was complicated...but again, no real problem with her being black....it was just a very interesting thing for everyone at my school, y'know? I think there were maybe 2 or 3 other black students in the district at the time, plus the 1 or 2 Mexican students and small handful of Asian students.
when We first started hanging out, my dad was still living at my house.....He was not outwardly racist, but he grew up in the south and just had ignorant and insensitive perceptions/comments sometimes. (He actually had a few black friends from other towns when he moved out, if I recall)...I specifically remember him complaining about rap music, saying that he "can't stand that nigger shit." :-X thankfully, he never really had a problem with having her over at our house, so..yeah.
my mom, having grown up in a smaller, more conservative version of the same small town in Iowa, probably ought to have turned out just as ignorant and race-insensitive. but from as far back as I remember, her attitude toward racial differences was always like, "pfft, it's bullshit, You don't have to be friends with anybody You don't like, but You're sure as hell not going to dislike them because of the color of their skin or the shape of their eyes!" Again, growing up with aunt Cindi and her kids really established that racial equality atmosphere.
....now, after going off to college and living in more diverse cities (in Iowa still, but yeah), I became more exposed to racial inequality and other similar bullshit....and sadly, my small group of friends throughout college was pretty non-diverse. I guess it's just because there weren't very many black/Hispanic/Asian/etc. students in marching band, campus activism groups, and the philosophy and Art departments. *shrug*
(I had quite a few work "friends," more like friendly acquaintances, who were exchange students from all over, though. Everyone I knew from India, Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia, and other mid-east and African countries were really cool people.)
So.
Moving to Atlanta has been fucking INTERESTING, to say the least.
I am a minority in most parts of this city!! :D it's kinda cool. And thanks to this and my new canvassing job, I get to meet a way more diverse group of people every day, and my friendship circle is many-colored. :)>>>
I think people may be a little timid to post, but please don't. I swear, no one will think your racist if you say no.
I'm white, and don't have many friends. I have 2 white friends, 2 native friends, and 1 mexican friend, 1 Thai friend,and 1 hispanic friend. I am often the token white girl at parties. :-D I think about this often, because it is important to me to raise my daughter as accepting to diversity, and don't think I can do that without modeling it?
Yes, I've had several over the years. Race has never been an issue to me and I honestly don't understand why anyone would discriminate because of color alone (I can sort of understand discrimination based on cultural barriers, although I personally enjoy experiencing other cultures).
I live in a predominantly white area, but I have my lovely USA accent so when some people hear me speak I can tell they're not too happy. That doesn't happen very often though, and at least I can blend in as long as I keep my mouth shut. I'm definitely not in any position to discriminate against anyone here, since there are lots of non-white people who are more Australian than I am. :)
I live in a very diverse area and have many friends of many different races.
I guess I do, yeah. I have plenty of Asian friends, a few Hispanic friends, and one Lebanese friend. No black friends, though! I never meet any.
Where I grew up it was 50/50 black and white.
Never saw this as a problem.
There was one Chinese family in the neighborhood and I was friends with the one kid.
Did not even dawn on me he was different than me when I was young.
I am in no way racist and it angers me when I see it so open especially where I am now.
Most of the people I know right now which is not many are from different races.
One thing that really offended me was when I had a beard I was profiled as middle eastern and questioned about it. That is another story no need to go into it here.
My family came from Hungary that is no where near the middle east.
All I can say is thank you to the Patriot Act >:(
I dont like the term 'race' as I firmly believe there is one race, the human one.
I was born in Westchester county NY, my family move to Connecticut when I was 12 to avoid the instated busing to the Bronx, part of desegregation busing in the 80's. My parents chose the path of white flight to Ct.
I move to the nyc to attend art school. I have made many non 'white' and non american friends. Many being some of my better friends.
I currently live in a working class melting pot, the heights in Jersey City, NJ.
I have friends of different cultures and regions. Not all of them look like me.
All of my closest friends always end up being Asian, primarily Chinese. I don't know why that is??
I grew up in L.A. (and still sort of live there, sort of in the central valley too), so it would have been pretty difficult not having non-white friends. I think at least half my elementary school was Latino (and even more of my classmates, since my mom insisted I be in the bilingual classes because they always had the better teachers ;) ), and not sure about my middle school... That was the weird thing - people sort of segregated themselves by race in middle school, which I never experienced in elementary school. So I wound up knowing waaaaay more white people then just from being in "magnet" classes, but I still had non-white friends of all kinds. Same in high school.
Then I went to college for a year in upstate NY, and most of the kids were white. In fact, most of our non-white students were international students. It was pretty weird to me - I guess I was so used to diversity, and also I was used to being around people of a different class - working class - than the kids at my college (it was a private school, and pretty much every one was upper-middle or upper class, whatever that means). In fact, the class part was the strangest for me. I never knew parents just sort of gave their grown-up kids money, for no reason! I had to work to earn money. Not that I'm bitter... hehe.
Anyway, I'm back in California now, more in my comfort zone. And of course, I've got non-white friends. Actually, I can only think of one that's white... Yeah.
I don't think people who grew up in 99% same-race areas can be blamed for only having same-race friends - you never have the opportunity. I think it's great for people to become familiar with cultures other than their own, whether that means being familiar with people of a different "race" or not. But, that's much easier to do when you live in a city or an inherently diverse area. It certainly wouldn't have been easy to do at my first college.
I went to a private school as a kid and practically everyone was white. My secondary school there were loads of girls from Hong Kong but they tended to socialise with each other. Then I came to uni to study languages and we're one of the most diverse faculties in the university. In my class we've two Canadians, two French girls, a Czech, a Pole and, the year before last, an American. I've several Russian and East European friends. My city is pretty mixed. With regards to 'non-white' friends, if we're going to look at it along those lines, there are a lot of Indian and Pakistani students in law in our uni - for some reason I always see stressed-looking Indian women haring in and out of the law building carrying piles of books - and socially I don't come into contact with other faculties.
I choose friends based on personality.
We are multi natiionality family and moving from a larger Asian community to a mostly white area has gotten us quite a few stares. Nothing bad, but I can see them thinking and wondering if our daughter is our daughter or if we are babysitting. Sometimes it takes me a few mins to realize why they are staring.
My university was also very diverse. I have friends of all different ethnic backgrounds--Asian, Russian, black, Indian, Latino....One of my best friends is Filipino and Jewish. Also, the students I teach are from all sort of backgrounds--Puerto Rican, Jamaican, Ghanaian, Haitian, Bosnian, Albanian, Trinidadian, Portuguese, Dominican, Nicaraguan, Italian......I can honestly say that there are times when I forget about ethnic background entirely. It's only when someone says something like, "Miss, aren't you voting for McCain?" that I remember that I'm one of the Caucasian minority.
My hometown, however, was 99% white. I had one black friend and one Panamanian acquaintance, among a handful of others I can't recall right now. It all depends on the setting.
This seems kind of like a silly question almost, but it isn't. To me, color of a person's skin doesn't mean a whole lot. I talk to people, and hardly notice that they are black, latino, whatever, only when they have something that really stands out do I notice. Such as a black person dressed in those really baggy pants wearing gold earings saying "yo" all the time, or heavy accents, or something.
But at work, there are black people, and I really don't even notice because to me they aren't "black" or "white" they are just "them". I have had some GREAT black friends though. I remember Liz who used to say "Merry Christmas" all the time, even in July. I miss her, she was such a wonderful person. Then there was my Venezuala friend I had down in Houston, oh, and a Mexican lady, they were the best friends I had while I was down there. No, race means very little to me. I think racism and sexism are very illogical, immature points of view that I do NOT agree with.
I have friends of ALL races and I consider myself very lucky.
I'm part Chickasaw and part UK (a blend of English, Scottish, Irish....the whole shebang). My best friend is my mentor, an Oglala Sioux, Grandfather Fast Thunder. I don't have a lot of close friends but if I did, I wouldn't care about what their race is. My daughter's boyfriend is half black and half hispanic. Her last boyfriend was Phillipino and the boyfriend before that was Nigerian. He had the darkest, most beautiful skin I've ever seen. People are people. Who gives a shit what their race is?
Savannah and David (Nigerian) at homecoming last year.
http://i262.photobucket.com/albums/ii85/Stormflakes/Family/NewtHomecoming2.jpg
I must admit that I am, of course, NOT colorblind......as an artist, I take in everything visual, and I take note (consciously or not) as much as my eyes can perceive. So I DO notice what color/race/whatever people are when I see them, it's just that I can't honestly make any judgment about their character or any such thing.
and just as people have their preferences about color of clothing, color of eyes, shape/size of body, etc., I tend to have certain preferences when it comes to males that I find attractive... I LOOOVE dark hair, stacked brows, big ol' noses, and medium-dark skin.
maybe it's partly because of (or simply related to) the fact that I had a huge crush on Aladdin as a kid. ;D
but f'real though, I like dark skin. I just think it's purty.
... and part UK (a blend of English, Scottish, Irish....the whole shebang).
As a British gal myself, I was really tickled by that. Part of what we love to tease Americans about is the 'heritage' issue. My mother's English and my dad's Scottish and we get enough tension in the house when they play each other in the rugby. It's sort of entertaining to see us all together under 'UK' ::)
Absolutely no offence meant, Storm, it's affectionate snickering, I promise!
I do have Asian friends, and have had African and African American friends, though they moved away after our Master's program. We still keep in touch via email, but don't hang out anymore because, for example, South Africa is actually really far away from Albany!! Ok now I really miss my friend.... THANKS GUYS :'(
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