help me please. family question...
Posted by longer_look on May 19, 2010 · Member since Feb 2010 · 369 posts
so we're going back to alabama to visit my dad. he's a redneck. loves to bbq. has a HUGE smoker. etc...
i haven't seen him since i've become vegan.
and i haven't told him either.
he just bought us a smoker last christmas (which i loved for 1 month).
how do i break the news to him? he won't be mad or anything... but i don't want this to be the freakin' topic of conversation the entire time i'm down there. "can you eat this? can you eat that? what about this? what about that?"
maybe i should just say THAT to him?
I'd prob'ly do it by email or something first (Oh, btw, just wanted to mention I'm doing this new thing that's workin' out really great for me, it's no big deal, I'll bring my own food & all, but I only eat plant foods now... you'd be surprised how much good stuff there is that doesn't have meat/ dairy/ eggs in it! it's making me really happy, so I'm excited about it... just wanted to let you know ahead of time so it wouldn't be a surprise when I'm not hungry for bacon, lol!... anyway, lookin' forward to seeing you, can't wait to visit, blah-de-blah)... then: bring LOTS of dried/ packable/ easy to carry snacks! and maybe do some online searching for WF/ Trader Joe's/ farmers' markets/veg-friendly restaurants near where you'll be staying, as I'm guessing you'll have to be in charge of your own food, while you're there!
Also: he's definitely gonna try to talk you out of it/ tell you how 'natural' it is to eat corpses, I'll betcha a dollar... so be prepared to deflect/ have prepared statements ready to whip out, to avoid spending the whole time arguing/ defending your choices... in this situation, since it sounds like you only see him every now & then, I'd treat it very non-confrontationally -- say 'this works for me, you don't have to agree -- but it makes me happy, so I'm gonna do it. The end.' -- rather than get drawn into all the reasons you're right & he's wrong (true tho it be!)... or you can say, when offered something gross, 'I'm just not hungry for bacon anymore, but thanks' vs. 'Are you freakin' kidding me? do you know the kind of health, environmental, and ethical problems inherent in human consumtion of the irradiated, shit-contaminated carcass of a sentient being who was tortured and killed for no better reason than human whim?!'... which would, of course, be an appropriate response, in some situations. >:D But there'll be time for that in future visits, when ithe idea's not so new to him...
Anyway, that's probably how I'd approach it... let us know how it goes!
^ what she said
maybe i'll be a wimp and have my wife post something on facebook first...
maybe i'll be a wimp and have my wife post something on facebook first...
I don't know. I say tell him yourself. Some parents take it hard, and they see it as an affront to how they raised their children (What, what I fed you wasn't good enough?). I clearly don't know how your father will take it, but I recommend telling him yourself, and be prepared to take/make excellent food.
I agree with what the others have said but just want to add that you need to tell me as soon as possible. Most of my friends/family would plan for a visit like this ahead of time, and would have a fridge/freezer full of meat at least several days in advance, wanting to impress you. If you wait too long to tell him, he could be upset about buying you all this food you won't eat.
has your wife made the switch too?!? i sure hope so :)
I definitely think that it helps to promote the health reasons to the more meat-loving relatives. That is how I've gone about it with my brother who is one of the smartest people I know except when it concerns what he puts in his body :hrmm:
I definitely think that it helps to promote the health reasons to the more meat-loving relatives. That is how I've gone about it with my brother who is one of the smartest people I know except when it concerns what he puts in his body :hrmm:
Yes, I think talking about the health reasons brings it much closer to home for most people. I always say something along the lines of "I'm running so much faster and my workouts are going much better now that I'm eating this way." I haven't really bothered getting into the animal rights part with anyone except my boyfriend, because honestly, I think that would just confuse them more. Maybe in the future when everyone has settled down and realized popcorn is a plant and chicken is not, then I can proceed to blow their minds again with the animal rights issue (sure I drop little bombs here and there, but I haven't explained my entire ethos to people yet). Right now, they're on board with me saying it's because it helps in my marathon training.
i don't know anything about the health reasons....
amy. she's probably 90%. she doesn't have the desire to switch... but she supports me 100% and only eats vegan at home. (unless we order out... then she eats meat.)
i don't know anything about the health reasons....
If you want to, or want something to help convince omni relatives you're not crazy (!) and that there are good reasons to eat only plants, order the video 'Eating' & watch it all together:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001CRQ8K6/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_1?pf_rd_p=486539851&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=0972659021&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=1MFKZQXMRN4JFWGBQFAP
It starts by focusing very heavily on health issues, and later touches on ethics, pollution, climate change, corrupted subsidy system (i.e. dairy/ meat producers in charge of setting food pyramid recommendations -- blech!)... a good overview, & quite omni-friendly. There's also John Robbins' 'Diet For A New America' available on YouTube, but it's much lower quality video... the other one only costs like 6-7 bucks, & can be very helpful in getting omni relatives to piss off & quit nagging you about how you eat... definitely worth the money, imo!
i don't know anything about the health reasons....
amy. she's probably 90%. she doesn't have the desire to switch... but she supports me 100% and only eats vegan at home. (unless we order out... then she eats meat.)
She needs a copy of Skinny Bitch asap LOL... She will come around, as my BF did, you just have to find the right angle to hit her with (not literally or anything)... I think girls are way easier to convert than boyz... Good luck with the relatives and the family <3
Edit: For health reasons Eating 3rd Edition is the most amazing movie on Earth! Buy it on amazon for less then $10, shit it's THAT GOOD I will buy it for you if you don't have the funds! Trust me BUY IT!
i'm not trying to convert her. and i don't care if she ever comes around.
it would be nice... but it's her decision.