Housewifery/husband/SAHM/career stuff/wtf.ever
Posted by Allychristine on Jul 13, 2010 · Member since Dec 2007 · 15438 posts
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I shall comment in a bit.
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Continue discussion!
I shall comment in a bit.
I think I could be happy doing pretty much anything I love, which could include working or just plain housewifery. I'm totally into alone time, gardening, cooking/baking... maybe not so much cleaning, but I suppose it's a small price to pay for all the 'me' time I'll be getting.
Interesting thread! Very timely for me as I'm living with dmarkd in the frozen wastes of Canadia for two months and it's giving us some insight into what life might be like together.
First off the bat - I'm really excited about future career opportunities. I've just secured funding for the first year of my PhD starting September with the option of some part-time translation work. Up to this point I've always been either partly or fully dependent on my parents and I'm itching to start supporting myself financially. That being the case, I really don't think I'd be happy feeling like I'm leaning on someone money-wise, and with children a highly unlikely prospect there'd be no reason for me to stay at home.
Right now I'm writing a dissertation and the PhD will be another three years of research. I'm not exactly going to be rolling in cash for some time, while dmarkd is really good at computer magic and they give him a decent salary to fix computers. So really, when we end up living together there's going to be a disparity in income and that will probably always be the case. It's also likely that I'll work from home a fair bit because that's the nature of doctoral study, and a career in research if I go in that direction. Even university lecturing requires massively more prep time than teaching time so I'm not going to be on the standard 9 - 5.
So while I'd be in the house for a lot of the time and would be making far less money, I'd also have a heavy workload. That's something dmarkd and I have talked about a lot. Fortunately we're both used to living independently and have no trouble juggling work and housekeeping which is great. This past month or so has been pretty instructive as far as seeing how we both function goes and I don't foresee sharing housework ever being a problem. Right now my workload is light and it's fun to putter around a new city and do bits and pieces around the house but I'm already looking ahead to starting my PhD... housework isn't exactly thrilling to me.
Long story short, because children aren't really on the cards for us and we both enjoy working/studying, it looks like we'll be balancing chores, cooking and taking care of joint errands with our work as we've been doing separately up to this point.
Just a quick thought about being under appreciated (the home person). I have felt that way too, but then I stopped to think this: how often do I thank dh for getting up and going to work every day? There's a good chance that the worker can feel under appreciated too. They are bringing home the money so that we can stay home and do things at our leisure (even though were are "working", it IS at our leisure) :)
Maybe we should start thanking them too! ;)
I've been in both situations (a career person with no kids, a career mom, a working (not career) mom, and a stay at home mom) I guess that is more than 2. will elaborate on them later!
Just a quick thought about being under appreciated (the home person). I have felt that way too, but then I stopped to think this: how often do I thank dh for getting up and going to work every day? There's a good chance that the worker can feel under appreciated too. They are bringing home the money so that we can stay home and do things at our leisure (even though were are "working", it IS at our leisure) :)
Maybe we should start thanking them too! ;)
I do all the time!!
That's what we've talked about, too. Whenever I was feeling under appreciated, it made him feel under appreciated.
It can definitely be a hard thing at times. I think I'm going to miss it, though! In ways.
Just a quick thought about being under appreciated (the home person). I have felt that way too, but then I stopped to think this: how often do I thank dh for getting up and going to work every day? There's a good chance that the worker can feel under appreciated too. They are bringing home the money so that we can stay home and do things at our leisure (even though were are "working", it IS at our leisure) :)
Maybe we should start thanking them too! ;)
I've been in both situations (a career person with no kids, a career mom, a working (not career) mom, and a stay at home mom) I guess that is more than 2. will elaborate on them later!
That is a great thought! I'm sure J knows I appreciate him working so hard at a regular job so I can stay home, but I do need to verbalize this more.
Yeah, I always say thank you for stuff shawn does because I know he works sooo hard and I really appreciate what he does for me. I always say thank you after we go out to eat, for instance, and he tells me that I don't have to say thank you, but I still think I do. He goes out for lunch every day, so it's no big deal to him, but to me it's something special and it costs extra. He does way more than I do, so I don't feel under-appreciated anyway. But hopefully he doesn't either.
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