I feel that everyone is individually different from everyone else.  Personally, I get very very ill from meat, dairy and egg.  Not just because I have avoided those for 10 years but because my body does not digest them properly. 

So do I deliberately eat meat?  No. 

Have I been feed something that has been contaminated or "broth isnt meat"?  Yes.  I know by when and how sick I get and the severity.  I can tell you when I have been fed dairy as it has a 30 min reaction time.  Chicken and cow have an hour to 90 minute reaction time.  Fish has a 2-3 hour reaction time.  The first lasts 24 hours, the second 8 to 12 hours and the third about three hours.    My bowels do NOT like animal products.

If you are not healthy, go to the doctor.  Find out what is wrong and fix it.  I feel that adding something back into your diet that makes you ill is counterproductive.

That said, this is the anonymous internet.  You could still be here participating and keeping your meat eating secret.  There was no reason to leave, no reason to tell us.  You are not required to show your veg*n street cred at the door.

I went veg last summer for the first time.  I did it for 1 1/2 months... After 3-4 weeks, I started feeling week and almost past out a bunch of times.  I was tired all the time, just didnt feel good all together.  I know I was deficient in iron and possibly much more.  I had to eat meat at lunch and supper for 3-4 days straight to get my iron up before I started feeling better.  Then I didnt go back veg, mostly because I didnt have the support at home and realized that I needed to know more about feeding myself properly before I jumped back on the wagon. 

I stayed on this site, because of all the great information and just a few weeks ago, went back veg.  This time, Im more prepared.  I feel amazing.  I eat lots of nuts and dark greens, and found ways to include tofu in my diet.  I agree with katzenfreund, maby you should try to find a good nutritionist.  Or maby just doing it gradually would work better for you... just go at your own pace.  There is nothing wrong with that.  Or even talk with your Dr.  I know I just spoke with mine. I expected him to tell me to take iron supplements, but he just told me what kinds of foods I should try to eat regularly so I get what my body needs. 

Good luck.  I hope everything works out for you!

I third the idea of a nutritionist/registered dietician. They should be able to work out with you what may have been missing in your previous diet and what is still missing from it now if you've still been feeling ill. Many are friendly towards the vegetarian diet, so in all likelihood will *not* just tell you that you need to eat meat without considering other options.

We all try to take our convictions as far as we are comfortable with, and I think health is the best reason not to take them as far as we'd like to. The first person you take care of is you, and after you're done with that you can consider others (including the animals). It sounds like from the level of remorse in your post/disappearing that it's not that you wanted to eat chicken/fish, but that you really, really felt like you needed it. That's fine.

It's tough.  I have had problems with low iron for quite a while now.  I try to eat as much iron rich food as possible, I take an iron supplement, and yet at every annual physical, I'm told my iron is too low.  I DO NOT want to go back to eating meat, but I also don't want my iron to be low for the rest of my life. Hopefully I will find a solution that does not involve going back to eating meat.

Also...I eat fish.  Something I never shared on these boards for fear of what people will think, but since you shared, I will too.

I also have permanently low iron despite supplements and iron-rich food. I changed doctor recently and asked her about it and her response was pretty much "You're doing a good job, sometimes young women have very low iron; don't worry about it too much". I tend to know when I'm going from low-but-okay to properly anaemic and adjust my diet accordingly, seems to me that if I don't have anaemia-esque symptoms, I'm doing okay.

;)b @ what PPC said about using iron pans.

Udo's oil is good for supplementing your omegas. ALso, purslane and chia seeds! Im am trying to increase mine as well, so im going to look into the chias.

Recently i heard that even fish oil isnt a good source for proper omegas! AND farm raised salmon doesnt have as much omegas as once thought.

Basically Di, you can only do what you can do. I know how it feels to be unwell, i broke down this past fall and got a little lax in eating dairy. At this point, i can barely eat and my weight is super low, its really by default that i am eating vegan....but i cannot, at this point, stress about sticking to a "vegan" label.

Curious...what is it that you are getting from meat that you cant get elsewhere? Is it a matter of simple calories? Did a dietician advise you?
I hope that you can find someone who can work within your veggie diet, when you return...you shouldnt have to suffer mentally everytime you sit down to eat.

If eating meat makes you feel bad, and you know that with some effort you could feel just as well or better as a vegetarian, maybe you might want to make the effort to learn to cook a few good-for-you, quick things. I know you said you don't cook, but if you give it a shot, soon it will be no effort at all, and you might feel better? A veg friendly dietician or nutritionist should be able to give you some guidelines and recipes. Eat meat if you want, but if it is making you feel bad, put yourself first! Change what you need to so you can be healthy AND happy. Good luck!

How many of you have gone back to meat for medical/feeling better reasons?

somewhere within the definition of "ahimsa" should be forgiveness, that which you offer yourself ... for although we see (read about) your behaviour, we know not your experience.

allow yourself to find your path back.

~ fr

This.

(Do as I say, not as I do.)