hurtful words...
i know i havent been here in a while. i've been busy with my new job and new house... but i really need help tonight and i have no one... i'm sorry if it's a little long, and i really don't want this to turn into a post about how much i am or am not eating.. im just really hurt and don't know what to do...
today at work, i was hungry.. like i always am. i know i don't bring enough food. i do that because i know i'll binge when i get home... so i got a 100 grand chocolate bar out of the machine, it's the only thing that i know is under 200 calories in the machine... i was half way through the first piece and this guy i work with turned to me and said "wow it's so great to see you eating something that you're not supposed to!" (after he realized that i was upset he said it, he just kept digging deeper, like "well i just meant you keep talking about all these things you can't eat, and here you are eating it! you always eat like a bird and now you're eating something you feel guilty about!"... it was like twisting the knife once it was already in..)
it made me feel like dying... and i had a couple people come up to me later and tell me that the look on my face made them want to cry when he said that to me.. the people i work with know my issues, and they know what that comment does.... i told my friend tonight that i don't know what to do... it's been so long since someone has said that to me.. and i used to stop eating altogether when someone said it.. now i don't know what to do... and of course, i binged..
i didn't tell dean because i'm afraid he won't understand. because all i would want from him is a hug and to hear "its okay, i think you're beautiful".. i'm afraid he'd just get frustrated and take the guys side, say that i'm too sensitive, that i shouldnt be upset... but now i'm crying so hard and i need someone to hold me... but everyone is so sick of me being in pain, that theres no one left...
Well Sariea....no words of wisdom here because you and I are SO much alike.... and I myself do not know what to do about it either. Just know you're not alone. Sometimes that helps me, just knowing someone else has felt the same way you have....
I'd like to fart in your co-workers soup.
DO IT!
and why does it bring some people such pleasure to see you eating smething you shouldn't? I was at work once eating some crackers, and this guy I work with pics up the box to read the ingredients.......it's like he was pissed that he couldn't find anything bad in them. we are hard enough on ourselves as it is......
I'd like to fart in your co-workers soup.
DO IT!
Fart, hell--dump in it and tell him they're meatballs! High-fibre meatballs, of course...
thanks everyone, you've really helped make me feel better (plus sleeping on it helps too)..
i guess it just bothered me.. this guy is fully grown in his mid 40's, but resembles a child most of the time--not knowing when to not speak, having absolutely no tact sometimes, and when he knew he was hurting me, i could see on his face that he had absolutely no clue what he was saying that was hurtful, so he kept saying it anyway
i had a friend in the class (we've been in training the last 8 weeks so we're technically a class) come up to me and say i should tell one of the supervisors--because the supervisor is a little overweight and had made a comment to her earlier regarding weight, so "surely she'll understand and take your side".... the problem is, the guy isn't an asshole. he's just an idiot. and i'm not vindictive like that--but since last night i've had other classmates call me and tell me that he's made comments like that to them (about how much they eat--even though this guy brings 3 donuts for breakfast every morning and is extremely overweight) so i dunno.. i'm also not exactly sure the supervisor would care. she's nice, and helped me yesterday when i was feeling insecure about my call-taking abilities (i'll be on the phones in a call center), but i'm not sure if she'd care or be more likely to just say "well you need to tell him that". she has a kind of "just do it" attitude.
alright i'll stop rambling.. thanks you guys :)
fat meat eaters always try to put you down because deep inside they know that you are better, prettyer, leaner, happyer than them. so this b*tching is just an excuse for them to be fat, lazy overeaters. and that's that. ;)
A lot of people don't understand eds and don't realize that an "innocent to them" comment can be extremely triggering to an ed mind. When you eat anything you want and seemingly have no regard for the consequence how can you possibly understand someone struggling on the opposite end of the spectrum. Someone that overeats and junk to boot...cannot imagine starving oneself or even restricting...you know?
You are so much more than your ed. You are a smart, sensitive and wonderful person. Stay stong, realize that he is so much worse off than you and seek support when you need it. (((hugs)))
fat meat eaters always try to put you down because deep inside they know that you are better, prettyer, leaner, happyer than them. so this b*tching is just an excuse for them to be fat, lazy overeaters. and that's that. ;)
Totally...how fat was the coworker who said that to you???? Next time you should say back "Well if I indulged more often like you do....I'd be as fat as you and that would just be depressing"
I just have to give you a hug!!!!
http://i312.photobucket.com/albums/ll360/annyting01/20080718122025633.jpg
And I am so on board with the soup farting--sounds like this guy deserves it!
http://i298.photobucket.com/albums/mm276/cpascuases/image005.gif
Well, I wouldn't take it serious. Sounds like the guy spoke before he thought. You said he was in his 40's so he should know by now to keep his mouth shut sometimes. But seriously, some people learn tact, some just don't get it. As treehugginghippiefreak stated, his is probably someone who just doesn't understand ED's. Personally I do, my mom has always had some form of ED and what he said wasn't right, I agree. He probably realizes his error now, and probably won't say anything like that again. I doubt that he meant to hurt your feelings.
((((Sariea)))))
We are with you.
i completely feel for you... i've struggled with an ED for years. anytime i'm eating something and someone makes ANY type of comment about it, i freak. i used to eat these veggie wraps at my old job that just had lettuce, tomato, onion, and banana peppers in them, but they looked big... and people would seriously ALL THE TIME come in and be like, "whoa that's a big sandwich for such a small girl" or "wow, where are you gonna put all that" or "i wish i could eat that much and stay so small"...
if only they knew. the torture of just eating it in the first place. KNOWING it's only veggies, but still feeling like a fat cow. it's hard. i don't know why people feel like it's their business to make comments like that.
but i know it hurts, and i understand.
Im sorry Sariea, I was hoping your bingeing was getting better, Im sorry some idiot made you feel that way, people just suck sometimes and they have no clue what they are saying is hurtful. I hope you are feeling better today and Im thinking if you and hoping you get some help with your problems. ((((hugs))))
I'm so sorry that happened Sariea. :'( Some people just don't get it. Two years ago, I was at the lake with a bunch of my guy friends, and one of them poked my stomach and said "Hey! Where'd that come from?!" I almost broke down on the spot. When he saw my reaction, he said "It's ok, I'm a lot fatter than you are!" Obviously, that was not the point, and did not make me feel any better. You know, eventhough he didn't know about my eating issues, that's still a f***ing rude thing to say! He moved away, but I give him crap about it everytime I see him now and it makes him feel bad. I want him to remember that saying stuff like that is NOT cool. >:(
I say tell your baby what happened b'cuz it helps to have someone to reasure you. Good luck!
Gah, that sucks. I don't have any experience with EDs, but merely eating different food to everyone else at work gets me some strange looks sometimes, and strange comments. My favourite is "That looks........... INteresting....*blink**blink*" Heh. That sure doesn't make me wanna talk about my food, or explain what it is, unless it's someone who's genuinely, positively curious. How is it anyone's business what I (or we, us veg*ns) eat? I keep MY thoughts about THEIR food to myself. Why do people feel the need to SAY something? >:( ??? :-X
Why do people feel the need to SAY something? >:( ??? :-X
i kind of wonder that about everything. i'm always thinking that.. "what could honestly make that person feel they NEED to say something?"
i've had other experiences with this guy saying things that are..y'know, a few weeks ago a bunch of us were in the breakroom eating lunch and talking about responsibilities and how we used to be able to just spend money on whatever we wanted, and he (Matt) says "what are you talking about? its not like you have a kid or anything, you don't have any responsibilities" and i gave him a :o and said "uhm... i just bought a house, so YEAH, i have a mortgage and other bills i'm responsible for"
the problem i have with this guy is that he doesn't even GET that what he says is wrong, so i honestly don't think he realizes what he said hurt me the other day.. and since then i've just been kind of ignoring him, especially because he talks to me like i'm a child. you know how when some people talk to kids, they make their voice a little higher and softer than if they were talking to an adult? thats how he talks to me, and it bothers me.
This guy sounds like he is a "one upper." You know the type that has to be one better than everything you say or do? Like if you have a cold, he has to tell you that he had the worst flu. If you say you are tired he has to tell you that you don't know what tired is because he works 25 hours a day and then has to go home a take care of 6 kids and his bedridden grandmother. They always have to prove how much harder they have it than you. It's best to avoid those type of people because you could never win.
Sweetness, don't give the guy any more space in your head. :)>>>
Sweetness, don't give the guy any more space in your head. :)>>>
I agree, he doesn't deserve it!