i'm worried about my family.
i'm the only vegan and the only one who even seems to eat healthy, but my family doesn't at all.
over thanksgiving break, i think they've gained maybe 5-10 pounds in a week. :o
my mom and grandmother are already overweight. they've had leftovers every night and they saved room for pumpkin pie and ice cream.
my dad is getting really chubby, because he does not do karate as much.
yesterday, he eat 2 fish sandwhiches from mickey D's and then ate deviled eggs dipped in mayo. it was repulsive.
my brother is the perfect weight. he runs a lot, but still does not eat healthy.
i'm worried about them maybe getting heart disease or something.
even if it is the holidays.. they still eat horribly all the time. the list goes on... belive me.
i want to talk to them about it without hurting their feelings or offending them.
i don't want them to go vegan, i just wish they would cut back on so much butter and fat and sugar and all that yuckyness.
hmm... i've given up on the 'not hurting their feelings' thing. they are my family, and they shouldn't get their feeling hurt because i care enough about them to worry about their health. i criticize what they eat often, even if it is vegan they will eat something like white rice and frozen veggies ??? (sorry, not trying to criticize those who eat this, but they it it only and often if my dad is cooking and during their times of the year that they do go vegan). i know, i'm mean. i just really wish they would change their dietary habits (mostly dad and brothers, not so much mom). i am going to be living with them for a couple of weeks and i am going to try to convert them, at least a little.
i just want them to up their fresh produce intake!
Yeah, I don't worry so much about the "hurt feelings" thing w/ my family anymore. Not that I'm rude to them about it; I'm just straight-forward. I regularly ask my parents what they had for dinner, and more often than not, my mom says, "Oh, you're gonna love this...I'm embarrassed to tell you...". I'm glad that they are embarrassed to tell me what kind of crap they put in their bodies that day--it at least makes them think twice about their food choices. I got them to eat brown rice more regularly, but that's about as much progress I've made living 1200 miles from them. I'm hoping, like hespedal, to do some reforming of their diets over winter break--cook some yummy, healthy vegan dishes for them. I tried to tell my mom about Jello and marshmallows and she just said, "Well, I'll just have to not think about that when I eat them, then" ::)
If you are genuinely concerned about their well-being, then I don't think you should worry about hurting their feelings. Just let them know you are concerned and offer to make a healthy meal once a week or something.
Chickpea - I feel the same way. I've been at home for a few weeks and I've been able to at least make my parents more aware of what they are eating. I don't get in their face about it, but I try to use those "educational moments" when I can (i.e. an opportunity presents itself to talk about eating healthier or what's in gelatin, or how I can save 90-100 animals a year by not eating meat).
I don't expect to change them, but I can try to make them more aware . . . which is a huge step for my parents.
Good luck :)
I understand that. My mom is practically addicted to diet soda and drinks multiple bottles per day. Personally, I have lots of misgivings about aspartame, so I worry when I see her consume so much! I just want to scream at her sometimes! >:(
My sister's eating habits are atrocious, and I let her know it often. She usually just writes me off. But I went grocery shopping with her the other day and she actually was checking the labels and making decent choices! I think if you are vocal enough, bits and pieces will stick. hespedal's right, they shouldn't be offended because you care for them. You can also try to cook for everyone and show them some examples of delicious healthy food! I do that with my family and friends a lot--I make them things and then I'm like, "Oh, by the way, this is good for you because of x, y, and z, isn't that neat?" At least then they know what some healthier options are.
Ugh! My family is horrible when it comes to the food they eat. When I tell them my mom is a little open but my sister and dad just yell. If you stop buying the crappy food, it so doesn't work. They just go out and buy it themselves or take it from friends.
i hate to say this, but people dont ever really change unless they want to
Id just try to lead by example, maybe take them out for activities if you can that gives them some excercise, or maybe try cooking for all of them from time to time
I totally understand. My mom eats healthy but my dad is a junk food junkie. My mom won't buy junk food but my dad will just walk to the corner store and buy his own and "sneak" it into the house. He did eat healthy for Thanksgiving because I cooked vegan dishes (except for the turkye he had to have) and didn't tell him. He loved everything!!!
You've said before you mom worries about your weight, so it's different extremes of love.
People have the knowledge of what is right and wrong and we make our own choices. My mom is very overweight and struggling with some ill effects and chronic medical problems that might have been prevented. It's frustrating to watch, but I cant' tell her nothing she doesn't already know.
i hate to say this, but people dont ever really change unless they want to
Id just try to lead by example, maybe take them out for activities if you can that gives them some excercise, or maybe try cooking for all of them from time to time
i think we all know that. the thing is making someone want to, or just hoping you can show them that there are other alternatives that aren't going to get in the way of their life now.
Hehe I'm on the other side of the spectrum I think. I never really ate too healthy till my sister started eating really healthy (for an omni). She just talked about it a bit and cooked some healthy things for me, never really said that I need to eat healthier or whatever, and thats probably best. When you criticize people they are more likely to get defensive. Anyways, I eat pretty good now, maybe not as good as a lot of vegwebbers. :) So now me and my sister are crusading against the fast-food diets of the rest of our family! *raises veg flag and marches to war*
While I know fighting with people or making them do things will not get them to change you can do things to raise their awareness. Simple, easy and even dare I say.. mainstream things!
Turn on TLC on Wednesdays (I think) watch 'Honey, we are Killing the Kids' and the other medical programs like 'Big Medicine'. Shows how unhealthy some people are and the consequences. If nothing else they may listen to a minute or two and get the idea "themselves" to eat more healthy.
Put magazine articles or recipes out an convenient for them to pick up and check out for a minute when no one else is watching. Something to spark the idea in them.
Sure these are sneaky and you will NOT be credited if and when they "discover" healthy eating and living. But if it helps, it helps someone you love.
i really feel for ya, chickpea, and all those worried about their families' or friends' unhealthy eating habits. i'm in a very similar situation, but after years and years and years of trying to be healthy by example, unfortunately, nothing has changed. it saddens me, but the fact is my parents just won't change. i've sadly reformed my wishes for my mom to eat healthier into accepting that i will lose her early in life because she is obese and doesn't care enough to do anything about it.
i don't really have any advice, but i just wanted to say that you are so not alone. i don't have any friends with this problem, and my sister and i are at a pretty lonely standstill. i hope you find a good way to deal with this, for you. it's tough for me and my sis to try to accept, so while my obvious wishes are for your successful influence with your family, i also wish you some inner peace with the whole situation. good luck.
if they're concerned about your diet, and you are concerned with theirs, make a deal with them. If you want something subtle, say that you'll keep a journal of all the foods that you eat and that they can keep one of all the foods they eat, then you can compare both of your diets to the food pyramid together, a nice family activity ha. Or if you and they are willing to go further, you could look for a nutritionist in your area and go together. Often times when you go to a nutritionist, they ask you to bring a complete listing of what you consumed in the past week.
I worry about my coworkers! eating so much meat leads to problems for them AND for me. It makes them more susceptible to sicknesses, which gives me more chances of catching them. booo.
food is a really emotionally intense issue for a lot of people in this society. there are a lot of reasons why people don't eat as healthy as you may like them too. a lot of vegans i know eat horribly poor diets and have no variety whatsoever. they may be thin... but that doesn't mean healthy, the same goes for bigger people. (oh yea, there are bigger people who are healthy!!! duh! and some of them are even vegan!!!) be respectful and empathetic to your family the way you want them to be respectful and empathetic to you. remember the eating disorders thread and how bad that made people feel....
good ideas everyone.
maybe we should take family walks and i would love to cook for them.
thanks.
concern I have for my family members used to be a judgmental thing - I'd look at them and what they were eating and just JUDGE. ew, you're eating steak? two bowls of white rice? donuts?
now my concern has shifted. I'm actually worried about the health of my mom and dad. they're eating better than before (I think I may have had a little inluence on that) but the damage is already done. my mom has diabetes and my dad (although he never talks about his health problems) is starting to feel his age - arthritis and I think he has a problem with his heart...
and I don't even want to start on my brother - the typical 20-something, meat and potatoes guy.
But you know what? I'm going home for the winter break. it'll be a great opportunity to let them know I CARE (in a non-judgmental way) and that I want to share food with them. be a family and enjoy real meals together, for a change.
I worry that my children are eating fast food - mainly because they're too lazy to make anything healthy. But, when they come here, they get healthy fresh food. I think if I were to confront them about it, they'd get defensive. So, when they're here, I just do my best to let them see where they're going wrong by putting out great food. I should say, the kids were brought up vegetarian and I have always stressed healthy eating, but people just do what they want. Let's face it - salt and fat really taste good to people (think potato chips). I'd love to gorge myself on them, but I know they're not good for me. Perhaps they and others who eat unhealthy just don't have the willpower or the motivation to change until something bad happens. It's a shame.
From my experience, the older someone is, the more resistant they are to change (changing anything, but especially with food). You would think that being closer to death and disease would make someone eager to pick up a few health tips, but not so. When I talk to my parents about nutrition, they listen, they even agree with me sometimes, but do they change? Nope. Health food is scary to them, and forcing it on them only builds up their resistance. And I don't know, maybe pride has something to do with it? Mother feels like she should be teaching daughter how to cook, not the other way around?
I've had much better luck with sisters and friends, they're much more eager to learn and try new things. I've helped quite a few friends make positive improvements in their diet. So, you change what you can and you just have to accept what (or who) you can't change.
Adamcrisis is right - people have to want to change. But as Cali pointed out - a little motivation via media might not hurt!
Another way to aid the motivation though, is to get them to go to the doctor, then ask about their cholesterol, stress test results, blood pressure, etc. I've seen folks really be impacted by "numbers" and make a change per her/his doctor's request.
Also, to goad a little motivation into them is to ask/talk about people you know who've had serious problems with heart disease, stroke, diabetes, etc. My SIL was 5'5" and weighed 215#s when her father had his heart attack. It seriously freaked her out when the doctor said she was next. A year later, she's an avid bike rider and has lost 50#s by smaller portions of healther foods.
The important thing is that because you love them, you never stop trying different ways to show/tell them how much you care about them. Good luck!
i'm concerned about mine too. I went back to my parents for the holiday and my parents confronted me on suspecting that i was going vegan. ive been vegetarian for 11 years and lately (with the help of all of you & vegweb) been about 80% vegan.. pretty much using up the nonvegan stuff i already own but not purchasing any new except at restaurants. they picked up on some hints.. me sending my mom a vegan crustless pumpkin pie recipe, telling her to leave out the cheese on this otherwise vegan whole grain portobella bake, etc. i had planned on telling them this weekend anyway about my goal to be vegan so that i wouldnt be catching them off-guard at the last minute after they cooked christmas eve dinner. they eat alot of meat, go out to restaurants often and definitely not enough vegetables.. and even they think my brother eats waaaaay too much meat. i was thinking of getting a couple of copies of the china study to give one to them & one to my bro & sis-in-law when i see them around christmas time (but not making it their 'gifts'), and telling them that it would help them understand why i am cutting out the last of the animal ingredients. in doing so i'm hoping that they'll learn something and reevaluate some of their own dietary choices. do you guys think thats a good idea or do you think they'll think im being preachy?
sorry - i hope i didnt hijack the thread too much, i just though it was really fitting to whats been on my mind in the past few days and didnt want to start a new one that was too similar.
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