need advice- new to vegweb
Hi, I have never posted here before but have checked out(and made) many of the great recipes and looked at some of the postings and everyone seems very helpful and friendly. So heres my issue. I have been a vegetarian(very strict) for 23 years, I have 2 kids, who my non-veg husband and I decided to raise omni. Anyway my kids have always known that mom doesn't eat meat or eggs and they have pretty much eaten what I cook and we are primarily veggie in the house. Well lately my son who is 13 has become increasingly dissatisfied with our food choices, i have been trying very hard to include him in meal choice and prep but his comments such as "why can't we just have normal food like steak and ham" have become daily. I have also always limited processed foods and sugar and they always have eaten whole wheat bread and brown rice etc. But now that is being questioned with little biting comments like"mom, why do have to make us eat so healthy?" and there is never anything good to eat in this house" Now I know this sounds pretty benign and like not a big deal, but it is everyday, and my real worry is that when given the freedom he will make awful food choices for himself. Any advice on if this is a rebellion thing or what? I would like my kids to enjoy healthy food. I won't force the issue of vegetarianism (or veganism as I have started to delve into) but he knows my position and disdain for all things meaty and it feels like he is using it to make me upset. I know there are some young people who frequent this site, so any suggestions? I just want peaceful nurturing mealtimes!!!! Sorry this is so long.
Hi, emmzach. I don't think him being dissatisfied at his age is anything out of the ordinary. That's what kids major in, with a minor in whining. Almost no kid wants to be eating brown rice, and whole wheat bread when he checks out what his peers are packing in.
If you are very limiting, then consider loosening the strings a bit. Not that you have to feed them pork and beans (blech) greasy chips, and sugary cakes, but there are ways to make unhealthy dishes better, and they are not all that hard to implement. I think it might be a good idea to get your son involved in the cooking process, instead of making him all his foods. When he comes home from school, there should be quick, healthy, and *tasty* options available to him. Remember, what's tasty to you is not necessarily tasty to him. Think like a kid: Colorful, fun, easy to eat (bite-sized, and small portions)..He probably doesn't want plain tasting anything.
Above all, I think you should ask him what he wants to eat. If he says pizza, or fish sticks, or burgers, don't freak out. Ok, try not to freak out. Make a sincere effort to veg*nize those foods. I think you can veg*nize most anything these days. Get him in the kitchen, helping you to prepare the food: it's much harder for children to refuse the foods they make themselves.
I don't know if you have visited *this* website yet, but it's a really good one to get the creative juices flowing. Vegweb is a great website as well. The members are a great resource, and I'm sure they'll have some great ideas for you as well.
yeah, i understand both pointss of view..i am a vegan, i am also a school teacher
kids dont want to be different...well, most don't. some love marching to a different drummer
if you have a health food store like wild oats/earthfare/whole foods....take him groccery shopping with you, give him a budget to spend too (this is a two fold lesson) and let him pick out "healthy" junk food with his budget..
:)
This website specializes in "healthy food that tastes like junk"
http://www.dixiediner.com/index.php?osCsid=cd2411cc0c6ed448c8aef98390b57421. They have a million vegan options!
Also, it's important to know that you're son is not being difficult on purpose. I went through that bitchy teen stage not too long ago, and his sort of thinking is how his brain is wired. "Challenge authority, be difficult to authority, develop likeable characteristics among peers--screw parents" This sounds so cliche, but... he'll grow out of it. Food would be good in his perspective if, when his friends are over, you make something, and they like it. (does that make sense?)
Do you tend to serve the same things all the time? Maybe just a change of pace would help. Try things like nachos, tacos, "cheezy" pizza, soyrizo, "cheezy" cassoroles, lasagna. Maybe you could try different regional cuisines. Have Thai Thursday or something.
thank you for your replies. I do try to compromise and have "fun" foods but sometimes a compromise isn't good enough, he wants what he wants(most of the time, sometimes he surprises me ;)) I don't cook too "healthy" when friends are over, and I try to keep snacks in the house that he (and they) would like, but the everyday cooking grind is tough. I think I do need to involve him even more than I do with meal and food prep, and shopping. Thanks again :)
Just my 2 centimes...I grew up with 6 brothers, and believe me, adolescent boy = pushing the envelope. And one of their favourite ways to rattle your chain is food! Complain, dislike, refuse, demand special foods...or simply wait till everyone else has eaten and then appear and expect a meal to their specs. One brother would "sleep" through mealtime and then tank up on mayo and ketchup sandwiches made on white Wonderbread (I finally figured out the name--you wonder that they can call it bread!) I took over most of the cooking by age 13 and I did my best with my mother's help to find healthy, hearty choices for the omni family, but my mother came in for the same treatment. They delighted in staring at the plate or pan in total disbelief and scorn and then saying, "What's this mess? Gross, I'm not eating that--it looks (smells, tastes, etc) just like baby s**t (dog turds, pig barf, other scatological epithet)". Or taste one mouthful and rush from the table like they were about to be sick. I don't remember how we survived it, but we did. It'll be about 3 yrs for him to get over himself. Good luck and hang tough.