A party in my honor, how do I make sure I can eat at it?
My church has graciously offered to throw a wedding shower for me. I honestly just feel so touched, honored, loved and blessed....I cant even explain. My church family has been such an enormous blessing to me and FH. But I have a few questions about the wedding shower etiquette, I'm hoping you can help me with.
The gals in charge of planning the whole thing do know I'm vegan but wonder if they will think of that as they organize the food situation. I don't care if all the food there is vegan- the other ladies there can eat what works for them....as a matter of fact I don't feel that they should feel obligated to make sure any of the food is vegan, but I think it would look pretty rude if I either didn't eat or else brought my own food (for church functions I usually bring a dish or two to share and then mostly eat my food that i brought as well as other vegan friendly things like salad or chips etc.) I'm not sure if its appropriate to remind the girls planning it that I am vegan? I don't want to make it awkward for any of them by not saying it and then at the shower when they ask "why aren't you eating any cake" suddenly remember I don't eat eggs and have allergies to milks. But I also feel like if i tell them ahead I will seem to be demanding, picky, ungrateful and self-centered....
I actaully had some friends from work once suprise me with non-vegan cheese cake for my birthday. I let them sing to me, blew out the candles and thanked them for the thoughts. But i did not eat any of the cheese cake...they KNEW I was vegan and said soemthing like "We know you are vegan, this is real cheese cake but surly you can have some since its your birthday." So i really didnt feel bad refusing the cake in that instance becasue its not like they were going out of there way to do somethign nice for me (I actually suspect that it was at least partially that they all just wanted an excuse to eat cake and had very little to do with my brithday, lol)
Any thoughts?
Hey Zealia!
That is so sweet of them to throw you the wedding shower. I would just remind them nicely that you are vegan which means you will not be able to partake in any dishes containing meat, fish, dairy, or eggs. You might mention that you have food allergies without stating which ones case the reactions. Be able to offer them suggestions or ideas on what food they could provide you when they ask "Oh what should we have then?". Also if you have ideas on subsitutes that you prefer that would be helpful to them should they ask something like "But I was going to make apple pie!". So say "Oh thats excellent, would it be possible for you to make the crust with vegetable oil or Crisco Shortening instead of butter?" instead of saying nothing.
Just be the most polite, helpful and lovable person there and they will fall all over themselves trying to help. You desserve to be able to eat at an event held in your honor! So very nicely check to make sure they will accommodate you.
I agree with Cali. You can also offer to help prepare things. :)
I agree. Most people seem to think that vegans eat "normal" food for special occasions. You are better to remind them ahead of time then hurt their feelings at the party. I've had people throw me a birthday party, a bridal shower, and a baby shower in which I was presented with a cake I can eat and very limited options as to food, because people don't understand. You might even offer to bring your own food if it makes it easier for them. As long as they know ahead of time what you plan on doing and what your needs are, I think you will be fine.