So I kind of insulted my boss
He was really irritating me. The insult wasn't intentional, but...
The story is that my coworker and her roommate adopted a rabbit. When my boss found out he started making jokes about how if she ever needed someone to watch the rabbit while she was away he would be happy to have it...for dinner. Now my boss is the type of socially inept person who thinks that when he says something he finds funny he needs to repeat it often. One time I could chalk it up to bad taste or something like that but daily, for almost two weeks, multiple times a day my boss would say things like "Did you pick a name for your rabbit yet? I would name it dinner." Or, "if you want me to watch your rabbit for you I'll be sure to put it in a nice bath with some carrots and potatoes." Over and over and over. It wasn't even my pet, but I got so disgusted with hearing this that after his last joke I said to my coworker, in front of my boss "do you find it disturbing that your boss wants to eat your pet?" She said that yes she did. So I said to my boss that I wouldn't let him near my pet. He said that he didn't eat cats and I replied that I wouldn't put it past him. A second coworker overhearing this debate thought that I was making a joke about my boss's weight (he's very heavy). I was really trying to imply that if he would eat one pet, what would stop him from eating another? Anyway, I know this is a long story but I just got so frustrated because it was in poor taste and went on for so long. How would any of you have handled this situation?
*Erg* this guy sounds like such a loser! I had a boss this this too--always making incredibly inappropriate and not funny "jokes". Nothing I did worked--I tried speaking with him politely, making "jokes" back at him, talking with other managers, at one time I yelled at him then burst into tears...nothing worked with this guy--the next day it was the same old sh*t like nothing had ever happened.
There are some people you will just never be able to socialize--my best advice is to get a stress doll and find a sound proof place to scream!
hmm... it doesn't sound like anything TOO bad. was your boss upset to the point that he may be unfair to you at a later time? if not, i would say that is good that you let him know how inappropriate his remarks were.
honestly, insinuating that you want to eat someones pet is outrageous and should NOT be done. >:(
tell him to get a new joke.
tell him to get a new joke.
Tell him to get a new job...
I belive this is The Case of the Pesky Coworker. It sounds like your boss isn't the sensitive type. Drama denied. Fawget about it!
;D Just start calling him Elmer Fudd.
;D Just start calling him Elmer Fudd.
Or start humming "kill the wabbit, kill the wabbit." ;D
You could write him a very formal letter, explaining that you find his sense of humour offensive and hurtful. A written letter does tend to have more impact; however, you may find you have taken this event to the next level.
I think you handled the situation very well. It was just the third coworker who didn't hear the enitre conversation who thought you insulted your boss. In general, I don't worry about offending people who have offended me any way. I probably would have said, "The joke is getting old, I'm sick of hearing it. Will you please stop referrring to so and so's pet as food? Neither of us find it funny."
I'm sorry you have to wokr for such an inconsiderate jerk.
I would have looked at the other coworker that thought you were insulting him and asked in a very confused voice "What makes one animal food and one pet?" and when they smart off or look dumbfounded say "Compassion." and walk away.
You did nothing wrong. The boss is completely in the wrong, not only for threatening to kill and eat an employee's pet but because even when confronted with others to stop, he did not.
As far as workplace politics go, sometimes you have to let stuff roll over your back. Jokes that aren't funny, or details you simply couldn't care less about are some of the things you'll need to smile and nod about -- especially if you know the person just doesn't know how to drop something.
Tune it out, in other words. Yeah, if it disturbs you to the point where you think you're going to snap out, then a) avoid the conversation if possible, b) become adept at ignoring or changing the subject -- only the most socially inept people will miss this blatant social cue c) tell your boss, privately, that you're uncomfortable with the joke, and you don't find it funny. Make it clear that this isn't a personal problem you have with him, just that you have a hard time finding the idea of someone eating someone else's pet to be funny.
If he doesn't respect this request, or mocks you for it, you can absolutely go over his head and explain to his supervisor that his behavior is inappropriate and abusive -- things that are absolutely true. For your own peace of mind, send an email and cc his boss. That way, there's a record, and everyone's on the same page. It won't be a case of your word against his. You know? Likewise, if there's an HR person in the office, they are also someone you should be able to talk to.
Thanks for all of your view points. Like I said my boss is one of those socially inept people and I often change the subject when he gets on one of his repeated tasteless joking jags. Unfortunately he will keep repeating it until you respond. What is also unfortunate is that he is the boss. It's a very small company and he owns it so there is no going above him. There are so many stories I could tell. Like the time he scheduled me for three different jobs in three different states at the same time. When I went to talk to him about fixing my schedule he said I needed to tell my boyfriend that I wouldn't know my schedule just yet. What, huh :o Anyway, I just have to deal with him until I find another job.
What a sexist prick. Frankly, (and what I failed to mention in my initial post), I don't think you snapped at him at all. I'm impressed that you didn't. What a bully.
And they wonder why some people go postal at work.... :P