"You Know You're Vegan When......"
You know you're vegan when…
…people tell you plants can feel pain, too, you know.
…you find a recipe and while reading it, "milk" changes to "soy milk" and "butter" changes to "Earth Balance". ** Stitches
…friends come over to your house and try to decode your shopping list (nooch, TVP, Ener-G, seitan, tahini, tempeh, wakame).
…you have a habit of reading the ingredients on everything, everywhere.
…you worship seitan.
…the waiter at the pizza place looks at you like you've got a second head that just called him some slew of obscene words (instead of ordering a veggie pizza with no cheese, and slice it with a clean cutter, please?)
... you are secretly staring into other peoples grocery carts thinking "hmm...I don't see any animal products. I wonder if they are vegan too? Maybe I'll ask...". ** samanthamuffin
…you suggest a dish to bring to dinner at your mom's house and she says 'we don't want anything that tastes weird.' ** piecebypeace
…you keep having to remind grandma that no, chickens don't grow on trees and yes, fish is an animal and okay, I guess I'll have a plain baked potato AGAIN.
…beans don't help you clear the room anymore.
…you still have the occasional atomic fart that has people asking "what do you REALLY eat?!"
…you can't stop thinking about blood and pus when you walk past the dairy section.
…salad is basically the only thing you can eat when you go out with friends and family, especially when it's their favorite restaurant.
…you set down your Silk, tofu and tofutti products proudly on the conveyer belt at the supermarket, just waiting for someone to notice.
…you hear "If you don't eat meat, I will just eat two times as much to make up!", you want to say "I'm glad you'll be taking over my half of the cancer, too!"
…when you're seriously considering turning your pets Vegan... or they already are.
…you've found yourself standing in a store smelling a bunch of wallets over and over, because neither you nor the clerk can tell if they're leather or plastic. ** Porphyry
…you're out with people for dinner, and your meal is the most interesting thing ever, and everybody just has to gawk at what you got. ** Morpheus
…your favorite drunk-time snack is pita and hummus.
...you're suddenly disgusted that your family thinks the holidays aren't "right" without a large cooked carcass in the middle of the table.
…your food bill skyrocketed, and you take many more trips to the store than a usual person, perhaps the produce clerks know you by name now?
…there's no such thing as "picking the meat out" anymore.
…you don't eve assume that there's anything you can eat at a party/friends house/holiday and you bring your own.
...you get extremely excited if you even assume that there is another vegan in your town… to the point of squealing and flailing. *ShadsHarlot
…your pantry looks like the canned foods section of the supermarket.
…your refrigerator looks like the produce section.
…some people still don't know you're full-blown Vegan, because you KNOW they'd go on and on and on about calcium and milk and your poor bones and getting enough vitamins and cheese is just so tasty!
…you are just a little creeped out that meatless hotdogs feel and taste "real".
…you only shop in one third of the supermarket.
…people try to tell you that PETA stands for People Eating Tasty Animals. *** FootFace
...you see weeds in your yard and you wonder if they're edible.
...your computer bookmarks are overrun with Vegan sites.
...you get so pissed off at a company for putting eggs or dairy in an product that normally didn't have those ingredients that you call them and write angry emails.
...you have "Earthlings" bookmarked or downloaded. (Or, you should)
...you have bad dreams about hamburgers.
...trips to the grocery store take much longer, because you obessively read every, single label
…you have a habit of reading the ingredients on everything, everywhere.
;D I soooo do this - even if it's not something I'm even remotely thinking about eating.
true that. it takes me over an hour in the grocery store.
my mom hates it.
Okay, I'm glad I'm not the only loser that does this.
-You immediately like a celebrity more when you find out that they're veg*n
-You walk by places like Wilson Leather or places with fur and wish you had those PETA stickers to place on the wares
...trips to the grocery store take much longer, because you obessively read every, single label
... even if it claims to be "vegan" on the packaging.
Okay, I'm glad I'm not the only loser that does this.
-You immediately like a celebrity more when you find out that they're veg*n
No, you're not the only person to do that, AND I do like people more when I find out they're veg*n. :)
..you get extremely excited if you even assume that there is another vegan in your town… to the point of squealing and flailing. *ShadsHarlot
I just did this the other day when a coworkers dad told me that his other daughter is vegetarian. I started asking, where does she live? how old is she? what does she do? is she really vegetarian? and he just gave me a weird 'uh... shes only 15' response and odd look. hmph. i just want to be her friend.
... you are secretly staring into other peoples grocery carts thinking "hmm...I don't see any animal products. I wonder if they are vegan too? Maybe I'll ask...".
I did this with a guy I met at an animal welfare booth and he was talking to someone about B-12 shots. I asked him if he was vegan because I heard him talking about B-12, and he responded someone snotty, "No, I'm not a vegan. I take it for depression." Man, I felt like a heel :-[ Oh, well. I tried to make a vegan friend!
- You literally jump up and down in excitement when you find vegan baked goods for sale, and buy some, even though you could easily bake your own. ;D (........I found vegan chocolate-peppermint cake at the market today!! Yays.)
..you get extremely excited if you even assume that there is another vegan in your town… to the point of squealing and flailing. *ShadsHarlot
I just did this the other day when a coworkers dad told me that his other daughter is vegetarian. I started asking, where does she live? how old is she? what does she do? is she really vegetarian? and he just gave me a weird 'uh... shes only 15' response and odd look. hmph. i just want to be her friend.
ha ha. i do the same thing. even when i do meet someone who is vegan, they are rarely as excited about it as me. WHY NOT?! why aren't they my best friends ever immediately? can't they see that veganism is an immediate life-long bond???
i have to say it: i've wondered if the weeds are vegan. there are some real interesting ones near me. they look like kale, so...
and i'm sure that there aren't pesticides sprayed on the cracks of the sidewalk, so...
(i keep walking)
same here on finding vegan baked goods; it's not nearly as excited if you're in whole foods or the like and you find intentional ones. it's that rare, chemical-filled gem at the "regular" grocery store. i still remember every item i've found (total 2. croissants at Albertsons, and pumpkin chocolate chip cookies at ralphs/kroger).
and finding other vegans too. i live in l.a., so you figure i'd be more jaded about it, but no. the guy who hired me at the trader joe's said he was vegan, and i said i was vegan, and my interview turned into a conversation about dealing with relatives and accidentally vegan products and the good vegan stuff at TJs, etc... and then about a month later, i found out he was a vegan plus honey plus FISH. he called himself a "pesco-vegan." i let him know about my extreme vegan-disapproval, and he blamed it on his brazilian wife. whatever. (of all things to keep in your diet - fish?!)
you know you're vegan when you shop for food online.
you know you're vegan when you feel like you've accomplished a life-long goal by finding a vegan version of your favorite candy bar.
you know you're vegan when you can eat the whole pint of ice cream and justify it with isoflavones.
you know you're vegan when there's a constant supply of earth balance.
you know you're vegan when you're the only not-asian person at the asian market. (does not work for asian vegans.)
you know you're vegan when you feel a small, defiant satisfaction when you find out you're *not* anemic
you know you're vegan when you feel instant camaradery with another vegan. maybe a vegetarian. maybe even the significant other of a vegan.
<snip>
you know you're vegan when there's a constant supply of earth balance.
you know you're vegan when you're the only not-asian person at the asian market. (does not work for asian vegans.)
<snip>
#1: Yeah! you know you're vegan when you manage to convince your local stoopermarket to stock 'X' vegan or accidentally-vegan product...
...after getting really annoyed that your old pre-vegan brand of bread has *gasp!* milk powder... and you write an angry letter asking "WHYwhyWhY?" (I'm thinking of doing this. :o)
#2: Hehehe, yup, I feel kinda funny in the little Asian groceries, scouting out dairy-free things, fresh noodles, vegetarian oyster sauce, beans 'n' stuff.
I hadda funny thought the other day... (being a Taurus) I though to myself, I thought... I'm a "bull in a chinese shop". (I thot it was funny. ;))
;D I sooooo do so many of those things! Whatued to be a 30 min trip to the store now takes an hour or better! It's not my fault I have to read all the lables I tell my mom! ;D
I hadda funny thought the other day... (being a Taurus) I though to myself, I thought... I'm a "bull in a chinese shop". (I thot it was funny. ;))
Haha ;D
Hmmm, I am a Sagittarius, so that makes me...ummmmm...a centaur in a health food store?
Yeah, not so funny. :D
I hadda funny thought the other day... (being a Taurus) I though to myself, I thought... I'm a "bull in a chinese shop". (I thot it was funny. ;))
Yay! Clever!! I'm a Taurus too, I'll have to try this someday! ;)
...when your favorite part of baking is eating the raw batter without fear of contracting salmonella.
:P :)
... when your heart skips a beat when you see tofurky/silk/tofutti in someone else's shopping cart.
...when your favorite part of baking is eating the raw batter without fear of contracting salmonella.
:P :)
oh man. my mom actually started to "scold" me the other day until i reminded her the worst i could get was sick from eating too much of it..
...when your favorite part of baking is eating the raw batter without fear of contracting salmonella.
:P :)
haha i was just thinking of this the other day while making cookies. you know, the dough always tastes way better than the baked cookies anyways. so everyone should go vegan!
I hadda funny thought the other day... (being a Taurus) I though to myself, I thought... I'm a "bull in a chinese shop". (I thot it was funny. ;))
Yay! Clever!! I'm a Taurus too, I'll have to try this someday! ;)
:D I think I suit that saying, since oddly enough, that day I accidentally knocked something off a shelf, like a klutz. (Nothing breakable though.) ;D
...when your favorite part of baking is eating the raw batter without fear of contracting salmonella.
:P :)
oh man. my mom actually started to "scold" me the other day until i reminded her the worst i could get was sick from eating too much of it..
Taste before you bake! I love cookie dough! :)
You know your vegan when you roll your eyes and b*tch about yet another steakhouse opening up in town
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