Life's Sucky
Well yeah, yesterday was a good one until my friends told me they may be moving away, then became officially sucky when the b/f greeted me at the door with the news that he most likely will be moving to Mexico for 6-7 months in a month or two!!! G, the b/f, is going to be recording artists and play guitar in the Reggae band Roots and Wisdom. I was supposed to go to Europe with said friends, but can't due to $$$. I was also invited to move to Mexico by the band's front-man, to cook and teach them how to live cheaply. But I have cats, and I (again) don't have the $$. I'm jealous, and upset I'm not going to see G for months on end, we've been apart for 3 months, and again, he'll be gone during our anniversary and both of our birthdays. We're hoping that I can fly down for my birthday/our anniversary. The front-man has a magickal way of making things just "happen". So it is possible. I'm just so down right now..... I'm going to be headed to the crisis center after I'm done here.... I feel like I'm nearing another depressive/manic break, and I need to get under control. I'm having scary thoughts. I was crying uncontrollably earlier.... Any blessings available would be helpful during the next few months.
~H
Hang in there. It's normal to be upset and to cry under those circumstances. You sound like you know how to get the help you need to maintain control. I totally understand how cats can tie you down. I'd be long gone from where I am and who I'm with if I didn't have our five cats to worry about. Keep a positive attitude and you'll be OK whatever comes your way.
i'm sorry - those are both tough things to deal with - let alone on the same day! that sucks that you'll miss out on those special days but you'll be even more excited to see eachother when you go visit! also, ive found from my experiences that when the bf is gone you have alot more time to focus on yourself and do what you need to do. ((hugs))
Oh, Hanashi, I'm sorry...
It's rather unfortunate that your shitty circumstances involve the temporary loss/separation from members of your IRL support group. Do you have other good friends or family close by that can help you through these tough times? You've still got us as an online support group either way...and like TinTexas said, it does sound like you know where to go to get the help you need.
You sound like a strong person. Just remember that your VW friends are here when you need us.
((HUGS))
Oh, honey, I'm with you. I too have been skirting around depression and refusing to dive into it. Get help, if you know to go to the crisis centre, you've made a good decision there. Just having someone to talk to, or to hold your hand while you cry, can mean so much.
Your feelings are so normal, so understandable. I'd be upset too. Maybe that magickal front-man can make some good things happen and you can be saying Buenos Dias Mexico with your friends. If not, you still have us.
(((Hanashi)))
(Did you get my PM about your avatar? I just love it.)
That does suck, I'm sorry. Try not to let it get you down. You still have a couple of months to enjoy being together and things don't sound definite yet.
What part of Mexico? You mentioned you don't have the $ to go, and I'm sure you know better than I do, but Mexico can be a pretty cheap place to live.
Getting here less so but it can be done. Tourist visas last for 6 months (I think) and if you could stay that long it might be worth the hassle/expense. Cats do complicate matters but nothing is impossible (I have twice moved with 4 cats+ fish & dogs (coincidentally, once to Oregon and once to Mexico.). Or if you have trustworthy cat help at home, you might be able to get away for a few weeks.
It sounds trite but try to focus on the positives. I know more than I'd like to about depression, and it helps me to try and view things as unexpected possibilities instead of getting mired in a worst case scenario. Also, a good dose of sunshine can do wonders for your state of mind.
I'm sorry.
The only sure thing in life is change. Best wishes.
Oh Hanashi, I'm so sorry life is being stupid for you :( I'm sending you hugs and happines!!
http://i475.photobucket.com/albums/rr118/reuelfeenstra/flowers.jpg
Also, a good dose of sunshine can do wonders for your state of mind.
I'm sorry.
The only sure thing in life is change. Best wishes.
I fully agree with these two statements, and I hope it's looking better very soon! Take comfort in the fact that it will all turn out. :)
http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:d6blKYTp_1PoNM:http://www.kidsforsavingearth.org/images/solar_power_files/sun1copy15.jpg
All I can say is that I hope things turn around for you. It's good that you can go and get help if you need it. Remember that we're all here. ((hug))
http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:RGY7wqB3C1XVhM:http://www.doyletics.com/images/7cwildfl.jpg I hope that you're feeling (a little) better today.
: ( i'm so sorry! i know how you feel. we'll help you get through it! right ladies? "YEAH!" ok. i'm speaking for everyone. but we're here for you!
: ( i'm so sorry! i know how you feel. we'll help you get through it! right ladies? "YEAH!" ok. i'm speaking for everyone. but we're here for you!
Hell yeah we'll help you get through it! Don't worry hanashi- at least he's going to Mexico for something fun and not going to Iraq or anything. Who knows what will happen in the future- maybe he'll be back sooner or maybe you'll have more opportunities to go down there than you think. Hang in there and stay strong!
Hugs,
-T
Thank you everyone, I'm feeling a little more hopeful, the dr's are saying it's the meds more than likely making things seem unmanageable....
: ( i'm so sorry! i know how you feel. we'll help you get through it! right ladies? "YEAH!" ok. i'm speaking for everyone. but we're here for you!
Hell yeah we'll help you get through it! Don't worry hanashi- at least he's going to Mexico for something fun and not going to Iraq or anything. Who knows what will happen in the future- maybe he'll be back sooner or maybe you'll have more opportunities to go down there than you think. Hang in there and stay strong!
Hugs,
-T
yeah, I know....the sucky part is that he was gone for 3 months earlier this year in an attempt to get his sister and bil's heads out of their asses and help them parent their kids.... He was supposed to be gone for six, but came back early 'cuz he missed me. :)>>> So I know "we" can make it. I'd just rather not deal with it. I have people here that are supportive, but a few of them I can't talk to about this, b/c G doesn't want anyone else to know until things are more certain. My family is in so cal, and my dad wants me to move back due to the recession, I don't want to for many reasons, least of all it being in So Cal, which just isn't healthy for my psyche. The last time I spent more than a month down there, I wound seriously plotting a way to kill my dad; the only reason I didn't was the dog would miss him....so yeah, don't want to do that again. I'm feeling better now that I'm back from the crisis center, we're doubling the dose of abilify from 5mg to 10mg, still half of the normal dosage, and I'm gonna be "stepping" up to it with 6 days at 7.5mg, and I need to find a counselor here as well. In reality, I really do have a huge support net irl here in OR, it is just right now, it is cut in half. In CA, all I have are my dad and sister.....Yeah, I really don't want to go back there.
((( hugs )))) :-*