I have an awesome twin
Posted by mirrya1 on Sep 04, 2007 · Member since Jan 2006 · 2210 posts
I get up today (I work predominately 3rd so I sleep late) to find that my twin is making me cabbage rolls for dinner. With wild rice, broccoli, carrots, zucchini, onions, ground boca and a homemade tomato sauce. Yum! I didn't have to help with a thing or clean up! It was such a nice surprise. :D
That's so sweet.
You're so lucky to have such a great twin!! :)
Awww! that's sweet! I'm lucky if I can see my brother w/o getting into an argument with him...or worse! I never understood how some siblings got along! :(
Awww! that's sweet! I'm lucky if I can see my brother w/o getting into an argument with him...or worse! I never understood how some siblings got along! :(
Same here. I don't think my little sister and I share any genes.. :(
That's so cool Mirrya! :)
Drats......I wanna twin. :(
I've been meaning to ask you...
Are you an Identical or Fraternal twin?
When you were little, did you and your sis do everything together? or did you mom try to split you up?
I'm feeling bad, because we were advised that we should try to separate the boys from time to time to go on separate outings or different activities to help develop their own identities, etc. We haven't had many opportunities to do this. Now when we have to split them up (like for a doctors appointment) the other gets worried.
When the boys were babes we went to a "twins forum" put on by the twins club. There was a set of 16 year old "mirror" twin brothers. They did everything together, they shared a room, bunk beds, even though their feet hung off the ends of the mattress and the mom had made up separate bedrooms with double beds. Then we met a 40ish id twin. He said the best thing his mother ever did was to put her twins in separate schools, not just separate class rooms. This way they could develop as separate individuals and not as "which one are you again." Now they live on opposite coasts and rarely talked. So I'm kinda torn... freakishly close or way too distant (or maybe that's normal for siblings?? I'm an only child)... I'm hoping as time goes on they'll automatically take on different interests. They are fraternal and in my eyes look very different. There abilities, even at age 3, are very different too.
Maybe I should just stop worrying? ::)
Any suggestions from your upbringing?
K^2
K2---please don't separate your twins that much as the 40 yr old guys mum did...that makes me so sad! :'( if your boys spend as much time together as the average non-twin sibling would, they will develop their own intrest. Even conjoined twins develop their own interests! They will naturally want to do things slightly different from one another. My sister and I are nearly Irish twins and growing up we wished were twins (I don't know what ppl on this board think about such mystical connections as mind reading and so forth but my sister and I have a freakish ability to read one anothers minds even to the point of communicating full sentaces 2,000 miles apart) We have several sets of twin friends --some identical and some fraternal...all of them agree we are more "twin like" than any of them. I love my lil sister so much and it makes me sad to think of having been separated from her. I have to admit that because we did EVERYTHING together as children the first few times she was invited to a birthday party without me- I did stay home and cry...but eventually we got better at being apart. Being close to a sibling is beautiful, wonderful gift that would be a tragedy to destroy or hinder. Your boys have a special gift...let them figure out how to procede!.
That being said...My family tended to forget that mys sister and I were two separate people (never mind that we were not twins) They would get gifts for "Peter, The Girls and Nathan." We had to share a bed, share cloths, share toys...although we would have done this even if my parents got us separate things we would have appreciated if they recognized our own personalities by getting us separate things...this also went into our behavior...People would thank "the Girls" for making a gift for them...even if I was the only one who made it...If My sister hit my older brother he might say "the girls" hit me....and we would both get in trouble before anyone would bother asking "which ONE of the GIRLS hit you?" It did later cause some identity issues and we started to rebel against one another in order to stand out as more separate people....I wanted to dance but refused cause it was my sisters thing...She was doing art secretly for years because art was my thing....stuff like that....
I think it all could have been avoided if they had looked at us as Zealia and Isa rather than "The Girls"
opps, I got sidetracked...sorry to hijack teh thread with my musings...You twin sounds really cool! is she veg?
To VegHeadZealia...no, sadly my twin is not veg..but I'm working on her. ;)
To K2...my sister and I are fraternal although look so much alike that people assume we're identical. The only major difference is that I'm 4 inches taller.
To answer your other question yes, our mom did try to seperate us somewhat. I went to morning kindergarden and Julie went to afternoon. But then we went to a catholic school and were together again. When we moved to a different town we went to public school and were put in different classrooms for 5th grade but were together after that ( I don't know if that was my mom's decision or the school's ). I honestly don't know if my mom was ever advised to seperate us. I don't think it would've mattered anyway because we did everything together after school. We shared friends, a room, went on the same outings (because if the other moms knew we were twins they invited the other too) etc.
I wouldn't worry about too much about trying to get your boys into seperate activities/interests. Even though they will grow up possibly prefering their own company they will develop interests/abilities that the other doesn't share and will seek out like people. It's only natural. Julie is very mechanically inclined and good at math where as I totally suck at them and can't even check the oil in my car. I'm good at languages and learn them easily where as she struggles (I used to do her homework). Our interests led us into different colleges.
We do live together but have totally seperate schedules so rarely see each other. It's nice though because we know that the other is available for support no matter what the issure is. Do we sometimes prefer being by ourselves to others?...Sure but I don't see the problem with it. It's great to have someone that knows what you're thinking/feeling with just a look. We each have friends that we hang out with seperately.
I guess I would say relax and to stop worrying about it. Your twins will decide how much of each other they want to deal with. I can honestly tell you that I would've been really upset with my mom if she had tried to seperate us more than she did. i wouldn't give up being a twin for anything.
my twin's vegan! I started the whole veg thing with us, but she's jumped on the bandwagon. I know I've said that I don't know very many egans, and I don't. it's like I don't have any vegans around - because she's not around. she's miles and miles away - all the way across the province!
I'm feeling bad, because we were advised that we should try to separate the boys from time to time to go on separate outings or different activities to help develop their own identities, etc. We haven't had many opportunities to do this. Now when we have to split them up (like for a doctors appointment) the other gets worried.
Any suggestions from your upbringing?
K^2
I have one suggestion: be very careful about things. my sister and I both have *interesting* problems because of our upbringing. DO NOT completely separate them - but make sure they both have their own time with you, and let their own identities develop.
K2, I have a fraternal twin sister and I strongly recommend not attempting to separate your twins while, also, not attempting to force them to always dress alike, assume they will be/feel alike, compare them to each other, etc. My sister and I have our own separate identities, personalities, likes, and dislikes, but we have a strong bond of love, compassion, and respect for each other even when we get so busy in our adult lives that we don't talk as often as I wish. We strongly disagree on some issues, yet each of us still knows the other one will always be there for the other and that we fiercely love one another. We chose to sleep in the same bed together even after we had two beds for us. We were always in separate classes after kindergarten- school rules. We had different friends in high school. We were very rarely ever made to dress alike once we were past infant size and we never really cared to ourselves. I think they will naturally learn it's ok to be apart from each other when they want and will do that on their own as they grow older and develop their own interests. So I'd say it's good to let them develop their own interests and encourage being individuals while still fostering the unique blessing they've been given of having a lifelong friend- since in the womb, 'til death- something most people don't get to experience. That story of the twin men who were forced into different schools and who now who rarely ever speak to each other is tragic, in my opinion. What a waste of what could have been a precious gift to each of them.
so many twins on vegweb!
I can't speak from personal experience, only observation. My mom used to be a nanny for fraternal twins when I was a kid. Their mother didn't give them rhyming names or dress them alike as babies or toddlers. They did sleep in the same bed for a long time, but when they went to kindergarten, one wore a dress with a pink backpack and the other wore blue jeans with a camouflage backpack.
In high school, one was a cheerleader and the other on the basketball team (guess which one, haha). They hung out together, but also had different friends.
They are now 20 yrs old and attend different colleges with very different majors (engineering and education, I think), but they do a good job of keeping in touch.
Anyway, I guess what I'm saying is; Their mother treated them just like "normal" siblings, but I think they still have a strong twin bond...the best of both worlds, IMO.
...That story of the twin men who were forced into different schools and who now who rarely ever speak to each other is tragic, in my opinion. What a waste of what could have been a precious gift to each of them.
Well I shortened the story a bit.. The boys that went to separate schools actually started off going to the same elementary school. They would get into fights with the other kids; they'd give each other "a look" and then pounce on a poor unsuspecting kid. So I think one of them was removed before he got expelled. But in hind sight, well in his hind sight, it was the best decision because he was allowed to be Joe and his brother got to be Bob and know one assumed they liked the same things or activities because they looked the same. And he didn't say he and his brother weren't close, but they lived there lives as "normal" siblings do. THe mirror twins I actually found a little worrying, I kept thinking, how is either one of them going to have a girl over if their brother is on the bunk above them?!? :o There was actual a 3rd lady on the panel, she was a grandma in the club (she was a twin and her daughter had twins), she and her twin had done everything together, down to marrying brothers, and later in life her twin had developed altzimers (spelling). It was so sad, you could see her pain and lonelyness; I thought she was going to cry a few times :'(
Anyhoo thank you for your words of wisdom. I don't dress the boys alike, and they look and act so differently that I'm sure they'll never get the comment "which one are you". They are already developing different skills, P is very physical and L has a vision problem so he's not as strong physically but give him some string or a shoelace and he'll sit there for quite a while making little nests or knots or what have you and he's got the memory of an elephant! I'm sure they'll be different. For now, I want them to be close, but I want them to be comfortable without their side kick too.
K^2
Errr. I'm a teacher and guilty of this. We 2 sets of identical twins. One set is in separate classrooms, and I know then by which class they are in, but if I see them in the hallway, I have no idea! The other set is in kindergarten and in the same class. I'm still new with them, but I think them being the same class will help me discover their differences and help in the long run.
Errr. I'm a teacher and guilty of this. We 2 sets of identical twins. One set is in separate classrooms, and I know then by which class they are in, but if I see them in the hallway, I have no idea! The other set is in kindergarten and in the same class. I'm still new with them, but I think them being the same class will help me discover their differences and help in the long run.
My mom had t-shirts made that had said "I'm Susan she's Julie with an arrow pointing to the left" and "I'm Julie she's Susan with an arrow pointing to the right". I wouldn't worry about mixing up their names or not knowing which one is which. Believe me twins are used to it and personally it doesn't bother me at all to be called by my sister's name (usually it's her coworkers). I just politely say my name and continue the conversation.
I meant to say earlier that I don't agree in the slighest with doctors who say it's best to split twins apart. Unless the doctor is a twin and personally has a bad relationship with his/her twin then they don't have a clue. Because as far putting them in seperate activities that could be completely unfair to one if they like the same sport/dance etc. as the other. Does one have to sit on the sideline because a doctor believes it would be best??
As far as one twin getting worried about a twin that's not around...I think that's normal too. I know that with Julie and I myself there have been times when we've each called the other because of a bad feeling. She's also woke me up to take aspirin several times because she'll feel I have a headache.
I don't for one second believe that fraternal twins are no more alike/connected than other siblings. My sister and I have had way too many things happen to each other. Wether it's esp, twin telepathy or as one friend called it "the twinkie mind meld" I definately feel a really close connection to Julie.
I get up today (I work predominately 3rd so I sleep late) to find that my twin is making me cabbage rolls for dinner. With wild rice, broccoli, carrots, zucchini, onions, ground boca and a homemade tomato sauce. Yum! I didn't have to help with a thing or clean up! It was such a nice surprise. :D
A twin and a best friend...how wonderful!
I have a boy twin and people say 'Are you identical' it always makes me laugh but I do know what they are getting at really.
We actually benefitted by being separated at school and stuff as he was leaning on me too much and not shaping his own identity and by separating he was able to come into his own light.It felt very tricky for me regarding doing beng more successful better than him at certain things.. We looked out for each other as kids as we had a traumatic childhood but sadly we are now not close emotionally and I do feel really sad about that. Its kindof gone from enmeshment to estangement the two extremes.
However I am close to his small kids and have developed a very close bond with them which is fabulous.Maybe one day we will both be close again.
He is a meateater and has opposite beliefs to me regarding hunting, fishing etc. :P
He knows how to push my buttons more than anyone else!( and succeeds! arrgh! ha ha)
I love him lots though.
I feel slightly envious ( in a pleasant way) of the closeness Ive witnessed between other twins it must be really really lovely.At one point I worked in a place where 80% of the staff were twins!
An interesting topic.Thanks
Warm regards,
NT
I have a boy twin and people say 'Are you identical' it always makes me laugh but I do know what they are getting at really...
I HATE that question!! I feel like yelling back... look at them, do they LOOK the same! I'm glad I don't have b/g twins because I'd probably say that out loud! :-X
From a t-shirt David Letterman would appreciate...
The Top 10 things mother of twins hear:
10. Double Trouble!
9. They must be a handful.
8. Better you than me.
7. How do you tell them apart?
6. Is it a lot of work?
5. Are they identical ~ even if they are boy/girl.
4. Did you take "those" drugs?
3. My kids are so clos in age, it was like having twins.
2. God bless you!
And the #1 thing mothers of twins hear is...
ARE THEY TWINS?!?
;D ;D
K^2
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