How do you feel about Farting (or tooting as I like to call it)?
Posted by Camillus on Aug 07, 2007 · Member since May 2007 · 1009 posts
We already have a poop thread going, so I thought it might be nice to discuss another near and dear topic relating to veganism.
I've found mine to vary wildly, from the extremely rare floral aroma, to the rancid roadkill type. I do tend to enjoy it when a significant other toots. ;)
What do you like, or god forbid, dislike about the vegan communities' affinity for flatulence?
All I can say is, I am glad I work at HOME. This one had me crying, laughing and yup, FARTING!
I am not into toilet humor as a rule, but there are times when it just has to be done. Today is apparently one of them, thank you my vegan friends. The one most interested in farts at my house is the dog. Someone cuts one and she is up tail wagging and whiffing your behind. It is a dog thang.
I will tell you for myself, I fart a lot more and a lot louder. It is like I should have a sign on my rump that says "contents under pressure, keep 50 ft. back." Once my morning coffee has worked its magic in the bathroom, the farting generally stops for the rest of the day. I don't notice a terrible smell or anything either.
When I was a kid, my dad and brother used to oneup each other with pull my finger games until the stench was so bad mom and I would lock them out for a while and air the room. I think men's farts are worse than women's. But NOTHING beats a cat fart.
Where we lived last year with a friend, there is a cat. We can call him Fluffy because that is his name. I had to be out there last week because my internet was down at home. I am sitting in what was my office out there and dog is at my feet. She is not generally a gassy dog, so the vile odor that was rising to my nose would be unusal for her. She smelled the stink and ran out of the room, leaving me with my eyes watering. I am listening and I hear this soft purring from under the bed and another plum of malodorus air rising up. The cat is under the bed FARTING to beat the band!!! So bad, even the dog was offended.
I guess I don't mind my own...and it's nice to be able to let go and not worry about holding it.
I'm not into other ppl's farts, though...maybe that's scarring from my father playing "pull my finger" one too many times...
I don't care if someone farts, but I do care if someone farts intentionally ON me...THAT MEANS WAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i've gotten pretty good at holding them in or making them unnoticeable. but when im around the boy, i try to make them as loud as possible. every time i do it, he makes the funniest "thats so gross!" face, and i just love his expression. one morning when we woke up he said he almost had to sleep on the couch because i farted so much that night.
my last "serious" boyfriend despised the fact that i warned him of my farting. he said that it was childish and that an adult would just do it and not tell anyone. he was weird.
I get hugely embarrassed and refer to it as "passing gas"...it so silly that my friends make fun of me for it and then I feel even more embarrassed. So i try to pretend I'm cool with it but I'm still so embarrassed I start to stutter and they laugh at me again. Damn it! I cant win! I even feel embarssed when i do it at home, alone!! ::)
strangely, i had about a 6-year latency period with the vegan flatulence. I'm now busy calculating precise, perfect moments for its temporary resolution (I'm such a dork, haha).
Opportune moments:
someone just left the room
walking down the sidewalk (empty)
revenge against my cats' farts
in situations too already smelly to be detected (e.g., cleaning barns)
unfortunately, the first one is sometimes ruined by that same person returning to the room, and quickly deducing my evil plan (apparently it's quite popular).
and as far as the sidewalk goes, i occasional find there is a silent pedestrian just behind me. well, that's what you get for being so darned QUIET.
Speaking of cat fart...my cat just dropped a freeakin BOMB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ew, kitty!
You guys are cracking me up! ;D (D@MN you crop dusters!!!) I'm too much of a prude to discuss farts, but my dog is so cute when he does it. He always looks so surprised and embarrassed as he tries to figure out where it originated from. Of course, my husband always says "Why is it cute when HE does it??"
OMG! I love this thread...it's just too funny!
Here is my favorite fart story--I used to work at a restaurant--not quite upscale but way above Fridays. Anyways, we were located on campus and were open untill 4am--people seemed to think this meant they could stay as long as they wanted with out tipping--never a good idea! Well one night we had a table that would just not leave so one of my manages walked by the table and farted a nice SBD. It was hilarious--they really couldn't figure out what happend but they soon left! It became this almost uban myth at the restaurant--the fact that i was there to wittness it is the only way i can actually believe it happened!
http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i142/fishymustang/fart.gif
You guys are hilarious! I grew up in a family that was veerrrry open about farting, and then I married a guy who thinks women SHOULD NOT EVER fart near a guy. It's simply not done. Farting is a man thing, and if women want to be treated like men then they can go ahead and fart. But if they want to be treated like women then they need to hold it in or leave the room to do it. How lame is that?! Women are human and have human bodies just like guys! Sheesh! ???
I'm sitting here trying to be quiet because my twin is sleeping but this is making it hard. I'm shaking I'm laughing so much. ;D Hilarious thread. I'll admit to being from a family that tries to out fart/burp each other.
Reminds me of the time my twin came home and said that the guys she works with were trying to guess what each other ate by the smell of the farts.
And I totally agree with the cat farts....eww...that and their belches. I swear whenever my cat used to have to fart she would deliberately come and lay on my lap with her butt facing me. Every time!
Here is about Sandee's fart (she is a pup)
She is all stretched out and this tiny little freep comes out of her. She instantly flies to her feet, sticks her nose under her tail, looks up at me wide eyed with "WOW did you whiff that one? MMMmmm" She could not figure out why I was laughing and crying at the same time!
I remember when my sister put her Dobermann on "natural" dogfood which seemed to be mostly oats and stuff. Toooo much fibre! A dog, having no buttocks, specialises in SBDs...accent on the D! And he would always look at his butt, so startled!! Like "Did that come out of ME??"
SBDs...accent on the D!
I will be stealing that line, thank you yabbit! ;)
What is your favourite/unfavourite word for "letting off steam from the rear valve"? My unfavourite is my grandmother's nasty-nice complaint that since I went veg I was "always popping off." Especially as it means "to leave/die suddenly" here in Europe.
Apparently in Eton and other swanky English boarding schools, a guff is a fart. To guff, to fart.
My cousins used to call them hiney burps
My cousins used to call them hiney burps
I'm going to start saying that!!! ;D
My mom calls them fanny burps, but I like to name them by how they are let off. If you are sitting on a hard chair and don't lift a cheek then you are "popping one". If you are forcing it and there is any type of liquid sound (even if it is truly clean) it is called a "shart". There are plenty more, but I find it fun to create your own terms. :P
My grandparent have a secret word for it... "BLICK" they think you can say it loudly (in a store or something) and no one knows what you are talking about... "Oh Steve just blicked!!" I think people can freaking figure it out! ::)
It actually came about because when my uncle was a kid his though it sounded like that, "BBBbliiick!"
I have a great story from when I worked at a Law School. A student I was friends with worked for a law firm at night and went to school during the day. One day he had to go to a trial for some reason or other and ended up falling asleep while the judge was making a pronouncement. He woke up to the noise of a loud fart that had escaped his own butt. Everyone in the courtroom turned to look at him, and his boss who was sitting next to him had to get up and leave because of the smell (omni). The judge ended up having to restore order with his gavel because people were laughing so hard.
OMG!!! I am laughing so hard, I farted LOL.
I don't mind farting, but just not while someone is eating or at the dinner table. I yell at my DH all the time for that. My dad used to do that all the time, and, to me, it's very rude.
BUT if it's any other time, it's pretty d@mn funny ;D My dog is so cute when he farts. You'll hear (what I call) a mini fart (small, soft noise). He'll look at his behind, and look at us as if he is saying, "Did that come from me?"
I work in a machine shop with a bunch of men (only one other female out of maybe 15 to 20 people). So I can let one "rip" and no one can hear it. Unless you are my supervisor, who farts behind the fan and it blows toward you LOL.
EDIT: Oh wait. I forgot one story. Actually this happens all the time. It's actually pretty "normal." I take martial arts. We stretch before class. And there's, at least, one fart during this portion of class. It's so hard to look at the person next to you, and not bust out laughing (and get yelled at LOL). So we usually just turn beat red, and look away from each other LOL.
Pages